MrsTonyaBrown
Christmas
Dec 15, 2005
Okay, here I am again, right before Christmas. Things are going well. We are done with Christmas shopping and done with Christmas cards. One more package to ship tomorrow morning and the trip to my sister-in-law's in NC in two weeks and the season will be behind us.
I reached my next goal of less than 300 lbs. I'm now at 295 lbs and currently on my cycle, so yes, there's water weight. I'm hungry, hungry, hungry but some cheese, cold water, and jerky and I'm good to go. I started swimming with my husband at the base pool once a week. Yes, it's December. It's an indoor heated pool and we take our daughter too. Dad watches her while Mommy does her laps, then Mommy plays with her in the shallow end while Daddy does his laps. If they move Mike to day shift, then I may start swimming with him three days a week, instead of just one.
I've totally enjoyed the flood of Christmas cards coming in from my local support group and the OH VA support group. It's really cheerful to get something in the mail with my name on it besides a bill. LOL.
Otherwise, things are going well.
See you again after Christmas!
T.
I reached my next goal of less than 300 lbs. I'm now at 295 lbs and currently on my cycle, so yes, there's water weight. I'm hungry, hungry, hungry but some cheese, cold water, and jerky and I'm good to go. I started swimming with my husband at the base pool once a week. Yes, it's December. It's an indoor heated pool and we take our daughter too. Dad watches her while Mommy does her laps, then Mommy plays with her in the shallow end while Daddy does his laps. If they move Mike to day shift, then I may start swimming with him three days a week, instead of just one.
I've totally enjoyed the flood of Christmas cards coming in from my local support group and the OH VA support group. It's really cheerful to get something in the mail with my name on it besides a bill. LOL.
Otherwise, things are going well.
See you again after Christmas!
T.
Oct 05
Oct 16, 2005
Okay, I finally broke through this 4 week stall/plateau. I've also reached my second goal. At 330lbs, I married my husband in 2001. Today, I'm 328 lbs!!!! Yeah, that's 7 lbs lost in two days. I'm sooooo happy.
I tried pizza topping for the first time and got sick as a dog off the first bite. I think anything too greasy, like greasy cheese, hamburger meat, etc, makes me so sick. I got sick off too much grease before surgery, but not so easily. I'm glad that I can't eat that stuff, but I do miss it.
Things taste so much more bland lately. Food is just not as appetizing unless it has a strong flavor. My newest addiction is bread and butter gherkins. Yum! The low sugar kind.
I've been irritable and thus avoiding the boards lately to avoid replying something negative, but I'm getting better. I got a job day before yesterday and at first, I was so into it and so happy about it, but after I got home from my first day, I started second guessing myself and now I'm not sure if I'll stay there or not. I just don't know what I want to do yet.
I'm seriously considering just doing daycare out of my home for just one kid so I'm not overwhelmed. Maybe an infant. But I'd also need to get CPR certified and a few other things. We'll see.
Hug and thanks for listening to me ramble,
Tonya
I tried pizza topping for the first time and got sick as a dog off the first bite. I think anything too greasy, like greasy cheese, hamburger meat, etc, makes me so sick. I got sick off too much grease before surgery, but not so easily. I'm glad that I can't eat that stuff, but I do miss it.
Things taste so much more bland lately. Food is just not as appetizing unless it has a strong flavor. My newest addiction is bread and butter gherkins. Yum! The low sugar kind.
I've been irritable and thus avoiding the boards lately to avoid replying something negative, but I'm getting better. I got a job day before yesterday and at first, I was so into it and so happy about it, but after I got home from my first day, I started second guessing myself and now I'm not sure if I'll stay there or not. I just don't know what I want to do yet.
I'm seriously considering just doing daycare out of my home for just one kid so I'm not overwhelmed. Maybe an infant. But I'd also need to get CPR certified and a few other things. We'll see.
Hug and thanks for listening to me ramble,
Tonya
Sept 05
Sep 03, 2005
Okay, I've been home for two weeks now and I'm down to 345 lbs! Yay me! My first goal was 350 lbs and it's been achieved. My next goal is 330 lbs (my weight when hubby and I got married) and hope to be under that by my next appt on 9/29.
I've been amazed at my loving husband who stepped up and took over when my mother left last Saturday. He took over housekeeping, childcare, and me-care. He never complains and simply does what needs to be done. I was so shocked but I'm also so pleased.
I got really mad at my mother right before she left. She waited until my husband was at work and leaned over to tell me to not be surprised if I realized I wanted a divorce in a few months. Mike and I had talked about this WAY before I had the surgery and we're both sure that's not going to happen, but no, my mother had to suddenly take it upon herself to try and make me feel bad about having the surgery. I love her, but wow.
As for my husband, we have sat up several nights simply talking about changes coming up, our fears, our hopes, our dreams, us. I think as long as we keep the communication lines open like this, we are going to be fine. He's afraid I'll dump him and I'm afraid he's just being nice and waiting for me to get totally back on my feet before he dumps me, but that's what's so funny. We love each other so much, but have both been in horrid relationships, so we still have these fears.
Well, my eating is going okay, I guess. I can't stand protein drinks and can barely drink one Carnation Instant Breakfast (Low Carb) with Unjury unflavored protein powder in it a day. I do eat processed meats, like Lite Spam, Turkey Spam, Turkey lunchmeat, lots of cheese, etc. There are some things that I can't stand though, like Crystal Lite, jello, popsicles, anything sweet at all. I can drink the decaf tea with Splenda, but very lightly sweetened, not nearly like it was before surgery.
I'm happy to see the weight dropping and looking forward to looking for a job in the coming months. I've called my old job and offered them first dibs on hiring me and they are in the process of considering it. I told them not to feel pressured because I can always find a job, that nothing is beneath me and as long as I'm getting paid enough to cover daycare and gas costs, I'm happy to work.
Hugs to you all and thanks for caring.
T.
I've been amazed at my loving husband who stepped up and took over when my mother left last Saturday. He took over housekeeping, childcare, and me-care. He never complains and simply does what needs to be done. I was so shocked but I'm also so pleased.
I got really mad at my mother right before she left. She waited until my husband was at work and leaned over to tell me to not be surprised if I realized I wanted a divorce in a few months. Mike and I had talked about this WAY before I had the surgery and we're both sure that's not going to happen, but no, my mother had to suddenly take it upon herself to try and make me feel bad about having the surgery. I love her, but wow.
As for my husband, we have sat up several nights simply talking about changes coming up, our fears, our hopes, our dreams, us. I think as long as we keep the communication lines open like this, we are going to be fine. He's afraid I'll dump him and I'm afraid he's just being nice and waiting for me to get totally back on my feet before he dumps me, but that's what's so funny. We love each other so much, but have both been in horrid relationships, so we still have these fears.
Well, my eating is going okay, I guess. I can't stand protein drinks and can barely drink one Carnation Instant Breakfast (Low Carb) with Unjury unflavored protein powder in it a day. I do eat processed meats, like Lite Spam, Turkey Spam, Turkey lunchmeat, lots of cheese, etc. There are some things that I can't stand though, like Crystal Lite, jello, popsicles, anything sweet at all. I can drink the decaf tea with Splenda, but very lightly sweetened, not nearly like it was before surgery.
I'm happy to see the weight dropping and looking forward to looking for a job in the coming months. I've called my old job and offered them first dibs on hiring me and they are in the process of considering it. I told them not to feel pressured because I can always find a job, that nothing is beneath me and as long as I'm getting paid enough to cover daycare and gas costs, I'm happy to work.
Hugs to you all and thanks for caring.
T.
Surgery!
Aug 23, 2005
First of all, I’m finally home. After eight days in the hospital and two surgeries, I’m home!
Okay, here’s what happened. My journey starts on July 8th. I had decided to do a modified liquid diet so that the 10 day liquid only diet wouldn’t be such a shock to my system. I ended up losing 35 lbs from July 8th to August 15th, the morning of my surgery.
That Monday morning, Aug. 15th, we arrived at the hospital at 5:30am as requested and awaited my turn. I got my IV put in the back of my right hand, a miracle in itself as I have very deep veins, and being weighed (370 lbs at the time of check in). I remember kissing my very nervous husband and being rolled back into the operating room. I remember scooting over to the other bed, then telling me that they’ll see me later and then I’m waking up in the stepdown unit on the third floor. I get a visit from Dr. Chastanet and he said he was very pleased as it was textbook and everything went perfectly, that they had to repair two hernias, but the surgery went fine.
Tuesday afternoon, I was taken down to the fourth floor, 4F, room 16, bed C. I was feeling great. I was able to get up and down easily and was walking the halls like a champ. There actually wasn’t that much pain. But that golden time wasn’t to last. As you probably know, they monitor your urinary output and while they were putting a good 1000 ccs of saline into my body every four to eight hours as I was a little dehydrated when I checked in, I was only expelling around 50 ccs every 2 hours. So where was the fluid going?
I had no edema, swelling, at this time and was feeling great. I went to stage 3 meals and was enjoying the applesauce, yogurt, and cottage cheese I got every day, and I was drinking a lot. But again, no output. My family popped in to visit that Wednesday, as did Archa and everything pointed to me going home Thursday morning, but it wasn’t to be so.
Thursday, Dr. Chastanet came in and explained that while I felt fine and all my labs showed my creatin, kidney function, levels were fine, he was still concerned with the output. It scared me a little and when he finally said that he was going to open me back up Thursday night, I admit I freaked a little. I cried and I trembled. But Dr. C., being the wonderful man he is, stayed with me, trying to explain his point of view until I did and I calmed down. He said the catholic boy inside him would not in good conscience allow him to sleep knowing that something was wrong with me. So Thursday night, back into surgery I went. They had removed my IV that afternoon because the vein had closed itself up. After much painful sticking and trying by two nurses before an anesthesiologist came up to finish it, I got an IV in my right inner elbow. I went back into surgery and barely remember them having me scoot to the other bed, then I was again awake in the step down unit.
This time, my hands and feet were horribly swollen and I felt like a stuffed sausage. If I wasn’t an educated woman, I’d honestly have sworn that all it would have taken was a needle prick to make me deflate with a splash like a water balloon. This time, I had the added joy of having a feeding tube going into my left side and they had moved the IV from my inner elbow to my neck (yum).
Dr. C. came in and explained that he was glad he went in but he could see nothing out of place, everything was pink and healing properly and it all looked good. He just couldn’t explain it. He decided to up my saline push to see if it upped my urine output and if it did, it might just be that my body was handling this surgery differently than most others. With the added fluid, yes, the output into my catheter more than doubled. And I was in soooo much more pain. The first time I was in step down, by that first afternoon, I was walking the halls without too much pain. This time, walking the same distance left me weak kneed, sweating, and hurting like I had been run over, even with the morphine pump. I got a visit from Chris Zirpoli in step down as well, and really appreciated it. They put me back on stage 3 diet before I left there.
Finally, Saturday morning, I was moved back to the fourth floor, with the catheter removed and the order that if I didn’t urinate by 3pm, that I’d go back to stepdown. Within an hour, I hurried to the potty for a respectable 300 cc output. And they all cheered. LOL.
But the pain this time around was sooo much more intense. It’s hurts to breathe and every time I try to stand up, I want to scream and cry, but knowing that would just make it worse, I don’t. Being up and being seated don’t hurt, but any bending, motion of sitting down or standing up, was and is very painful.
So, by Saturday afternoon, I’m moving around better, urinating a lot more, drinking better, etc, but now, I cannot stand the smell or even thought of food. All they wanted to bring me for meals was eggs, applesauce, yogurt, cottage cheese, and a pureed vegetable. I never liked eggs so that was out. The applesauce and yogurt were now way too sweet for me to stomach, the pureed veggie was always something I wouldn’t eat anyway or something I was told not to eat, like broccoli because the florets couldn’t be pureed down enough for the drs’ satisfaction. And even the cottage cheese was completely unappetizing. Luckily enough, I had my mom and husband make and bring me some plain mashed potatoes. No butter, no salt, no pepper. And it was heaven. Ate it for three meals. The funniest part was that I now eat about an oz at each meal and he brought me a 16 oz container full of it. LOL. When they came to pick me up on Monday morning, I still had over half the container full and I had been eating mashed taters for every meal since Saturday night.
Sunday was a blur of drs checking blood labs, urine output, how I was feeling, how much I was walking, etc. Monday morning, 6am, Dr. C comes to see me and takes out my JP drain and tells me I’ll be going home the same day. (YaY!) Then my nurse comes in and takes out my neck IV. (YaY!) Then he comes back to drop off my discharge paperwork and go over last minute information, vitamins, next appt, etc. I called my mom to come get me and within minutes fell into a deep, restful sleep until she arrived an hour later. By the time we got everything together and they got my corpsman, a really nice guy who became a really good friend in that short time, to come transport me to the hospital entrance, it was nearly 11am. Had to stop by discharge pharmacy to make up for the Lovenox that I had used, then we were on the way home. Got home, went potty, took my Loritab, and fell into the recliner with a sigh. The beds at the hospital may not seem all that comfortable but once the Loritab starts to wear off, I could feel every board, every sewing seam in my recliner at my back, so now I have like three pillows on the recliner, one under me, one at my small back and one behind my head and I’m soooo much more comfortable.
Thanks for all your concerns but I’m home and I’m happy. I’m still hurting and today (Tuesday), I finally saw the scale drop a few pounds of that 30 lbs of water weight and I’m happy.
Most of the nurses and staff go through a 3 day cycle there at the hospital so usually, by the time they come back from their days off, you are long gone. Me, however……I got to become very friendly with my staff. Every one of them the second time around were amazed to see me and always stopped by to chat. When I was finally informed at 6am this morning that I was going to be released today, it was also shift change, so all the nurses, corpsman, and aides that I had gotten to know came by to wish me luck. It was really emotional to see 8 to 10 nurses and aides coming by to wish me luck and give me a hug or a handshake.
I’m sure I’ve left things out, but it took me two days, yesterday and today to type this, so I’ll eventually get it all straightened out and posted on my ObesityHelp.com profile for everyone who cares to read it, full story.
Thanks again,
Tonya Brown
LOSER!!!
Okay, here’s what happened. My journey starts on July 8th. I had decided to do a modified liquid diet so that the 10 day liquid only diet wouldn’t be such a shock to my system. I ended up losing 35 lbs from July 8th to August 15th, the morning of my surgery.
That Monday morning, Aug. 15th, we arrived at the hospital at 5:30am as requested and awaited my turn. I got my IV put in the back of my right hand, a miracle in itself as I have very deep veins, and being weighed (370 lbs at the time of check in). I remember kissing my very nervous husband and being rolled back into the operating room. I remember scooting over to the other bed, then telling me that they’ll see me later and then I’m waking up in the stepdown unit on the third floor. I get a visit from Dr. Chastanet and he said he was very pleased as it was textbook and everything went perfectly, that they had to repair two hernias, but the surgery went fine.
Tuesday afternoon, I was taken down to the fourth floor, 4F, room 16, bed C. I was feeling great. I was able to get up and down easily and was walking the halls like a champ. There actually wasn’t that much pain. But that golden time wasn’t to last. As you probably know, they monitor your urinary output and while they were putting a good 1000 ccs of saline into my body every four to eight hours as I was a little dehydrated when I checked in, I was only expelling around 50 ccs every 2 hours. So where was the fluid going?
I had no edema, swelling, at this time and was feeling great. I went to stage 3 meals and was enjoying the applesauce, yogurt, and cottage cheese I got every day, and I was drinking a lot. But again, no output. My family popped in to visit that Wednesday, as did Archa and everything pointed to me going home Thursday morning, but it wasn’t to be so.
Thursday, Dr. Chastanet came in and explained that while I felt fine and all my labs showed my creatin, kidney function, levels were fine, he was still concerned with the output. It scared me a little and when he finally said that he was going to open me back up Thursday night, I admit I freaked a little. I cried and I trembled. But Dr. C., being the wonderful man he is, stayed with me, trying to explain his point of view until I did and I calmed down. He said the catholic boy inside him would not in good conscience allow him to sleep knowing that something was wrong with me. So Thursday night, back into surgery I went. They had removed my IV that afternoon because the vein had closed itself up. After much painful sticking and trying by two nurses before an anesthesiologist came up to finish it, I got an IV in my right inner elbow. I went back into surgery and barely remember them having me scoot to the other bed, then I was again awake in the step down unit.
This time, my hands and feet were horribly swollen and I felt like a stuffed sausage. If I wasn’t an educated woman, I’d honestly have sworn that all it would have taken was a needle prick to make me deflate with a splash like a water balloon. This time, I had the added joy of having a feeding tube going into my left side and they had moved the IV from my inner elbow to my neck (yum).
Dr. C. came in and explained that he was glad he went in but he could see nothing out of place, everything was pink and healing properly and it all looked good. He just couldn’t explain it. He decided to up my saline push to see if it upped my urine output and if it did, it might just be that my body was handling this surgery differently than most others. With the added fluid, yes, the output into my catheter more than doubled. And I was in soooo much more pain. The first time I was in step down, by that first afternoon, I was walking the halls without too much pain. This time, walking the same distance left me weak kneed, sweating, and hurting like I had been run over, even with the morphine pump. I got a visit from Chris Zirpoli in step down as well, and really appreciated it. They put me back on stage 3 diet before I left there.
Finally, Saturday morning, I was moved back to the fourth floor, with the catheter removed and the order that if I didn’t urinate by 3pm, that I’d go back to stepdown. Within an hour, I hurried to the potty for a respectable 300 cc output. And they all cheered. LOL.
But the pain this time around was sooo much more intense. It’s hurts to breathe and every time I try to stand up, I want to scream and cry, but knowing that would just make it worse, I don’t. Being up and being seated don’t hurt, but any bending, motion of sitting down or standing up, was and is very painful.
So, by Saturday afternoon, I’m moving around better, urinating a lot more, drinking better, etc, but now, I cannot stand the smell or even thought of food. All they wanted to bring me for meals was eggs, applesauce, yogurt, cottage cheese, and a pureed vegetable. I never liked eggs so that was out. The applesauce and yogurt were now way too sweet for me to stomach, the pureed veggie was always something I wouldn’t eat anyway or something I was told not to eat, like broccoli because the florets couldn’t be pureed down enough for the drs’ satisfaction. And even the cottage cheese was completely unappetizing. Luckily enough, I had my mom and husband make and bring me some plain mashed potatoes. No butter, no salt, no pepper. And it was heaven. Ate it for three meals. The funniest part was that I now eat about an oz at each meal and he brought me a 16 oz container full of it. LOL. When they came to pick me up on Monday morning, I still had over half the container full and I had been eating mashed taters for every meal since Saturday night.
Sunday was a blur of drs checking blood labs, urine output, how I was feeling, how much I was walking, etc. Monday morning, 6am, Dr. C comes to see me and takes out my JP drain and tells me I’ll be going home the same day. (YaY!) Then my nurse comes in and takes out my neck IV. (YaY!) Then he comes back to drop off my discharge paperwork and go over last minute information, vitamins, next appt, etc. I called my mom to come get me and within minutes fell into a deep, restful sleep until she arrived an hour later. By the time we got everything together and they got my corpsman, a really nice guy who became a really good friend in that short time, to come transport me to the hospital entrance, it was nearly 11am. Had to stop by discharge pharmacy to make up for the Lovenox that I had used, then we were on the way home. Got home, went potty, took my Loritab, and fell into the recliner with a sigh. The beds at the hospital may not seem all that comfortable but once the Loritab starts to wear off, I could feel every board, every sewing seam in my recliner at my back, so now I have like three pillows on the recliner, one under me, one at my small back and one behind my head and I’m soooo much more comfortable.
Thanks for all your concerns but I’m home and I’m happy. I’m still hurting and today (Tuesday), I finally saw the scale drop a few pounds of that 30 lbs of water weight and I’m happy.
Most of the nurses and staff go through a 3 day cycle there at the hospital so usually, by the time they come back from their days off, you are long gone. Me, however……I got to become very friendly with my staff. Every one of them the second time around were amazed to see me and always stopped by to chat. When I was finally informed at 6am this morning that I was going to be released today, it was also shift change, so all the nurses, corpsman, and aides that I had gotten to know came by to wish me luck. It was really emotional to see 8 to 10 nurses and aides coming by to wish me luck and give me a hug or a handshake.
I’m sure I’ve left things out, but it took me two days, yesterday and today to type this, so I’ll eventually get it all straightened out and posted on my ObesityHelp.com profile for everyone who cares to read it, full story.
Thanks again,
Tonya Brown
LOSER!!!
Pre surgery
Aug 11, 2005
That's right, only 3 days and a wake up to go until surgery! I'm sooo excited.
Okay, I started my modified liquid diet on July 8th and until August 4th, there wasn't a single day where I didn't cheat a little, but I lost weight steadily. From my pre-op appt on May 19th to that point, July 8th, I had gained 23 lbs!!! But as of today, Aug. 11th, I have lost 28 lbs, so I'm below my pre-op weight, but I'd like to be lower. I was hoping to be around 365 or 360 for my surgery, but I can't see that happening.
I'm on the full liquid diet as of August 4th and am already plateauing. LOL. I hope this means I won't have that first miserable plateau 3 weeks or so after surgery. Eh, whatever.
My loving husband, Mike, got the word that his 30 day leave chit was approved, so he goes on leave the day before my mother heads back to Florida. He's needed a vacation for a long time now. I'm hoping that by the time Mom leaves, I'll be moving around a lot more and able to help with cooking, cleaning, childcare, etc. That way he can get some much needed relaxation time in.
I love my husband so dearly. He is my rock. I screwed up and misunderstood a pre-op med (Lovenox injections "blood thinner") instruction and started giving myself the shots on August 4th and it was supposed to be POST OP! Anyway, I posted to my online support group how much it hurt to do the shots myself and a lovely lady, Archa, replied for me to wait, that they were supposed to be post op. I freaked out, called the bariatric secretary. She told me that it takes about 3 days for it to get out of my system, that there shouldn't be an issue and luckily, I stopped the last shot on Sunday am and finally stopped bleeding (female cycle ran concurrent with my liquid diet) yesterday.
I'm not really hungry anymore. I still see food and think, Hmmm, that would be good to eat, but I don't make the move to dive in.
Gotta run, getting dizzy, may be dehydration or low sugar.
Ta ta!
Tonya
403/375/?/180
Okay, I started my modified liquid diet on July 8th and until August 4th, there wasn't a single day where I didn't cheat a little, but I lost weight steadily. From my pre-op appt on May 19th to that point, July 8th, I had gained 23 lbs!!! But as of today, Aug. 11th, I have lost 28 lbs, so I'm below my pre-op weight, but I'd like to be lower. I was hoping to be around 365 or 360 for my surgery, but I can't see that happening.
I'm on the full liquid diet as of August 4th and am already plateauing. LOL. I hope this means I won't have that first miserable plateau 3 weeks or so after surgery. Eh, whatever.
My loving husband, Mike, got the word that his 30 day leave chit was approved, so he goes on leave the day before my mother heads back to Florida. He's needed a vacation for a long time now. I'm hoping that by the time Mom leaves, I'll be moving around a lot more and able to help with cooking, cleaning, childcare, etc. That way he can get some much needed relaxation time in.
I love my husband so dearly. He is my rock. I screwed up and misunderstood a pre-op med (Lovenox injections "blood thinner") instruction and started giving myself the shots on August 4th and it was supposed to be POST OP! Anyway, I posted to my online support group how much it hurt to do the shots myself and a lovely lady, Archa, replied for me to wait, that they were supposed to be post op. I freaked out, called the bariatric secretary. She told me that it takes about 3 days for it to get out of my system, that there shouldn't be an issue and luckily, I stopped the last shot on Sunday am and finally stopped bleeding (female cycle ran concurrent with my liquid diet) yesterday.
I'm not really hungry anymore. I still see food and think, Hmmm, that would be good to eat, but I don't make the move to dive in.
Gotta run, getting dizzy, may be dehydration or low sugar.
Ta ta!
Tonya
403/375/?/180
Sixth Post
Jul 19, 2005
Had my "teaching" appointment today. It's basically where the bariatric secretary gives you handouts to share how you need to care for yourself up until the day of your surgery, what meds you can and can't take up until surgery day, etc. There were five of us there today. Four of us for the surgery, and one for a revision.
We did the handouts, final authorization signing, etc, then went up to APD (Same Day Surgery) to meet the anesthesiologist for our final interview for the intubation information.
I had the worst day yesterday. I called to get daycare for my daughter for today's appt and no one was available to care for her, so hubby had to ask for the time from his shop to watch her. I was told the appt was going to be around 4 hours but it ended up being more like 1 1/2 hours. I guess all my paperwork and labs were in order. Some of the others there were still waiting when I left, even though they arrived before I did. Hubby was so happy that I got out early. His shop had called and as some things were missing, they were trying to pin it on him. As soon as I arrived home, he finished getting ready for work and hauled booty to get there and straighten the crap out. (Our daughter is 17 months old today and a handful. She makes it very hard to do ANYTHING that requires concentration unless someone is there to distract her for you.)
Then, yesterday, I logged in to register for my online classes (only two classes needed to finish my AA) and was told that there was a hold and I couldn't register yet. I called to find out what the hold was and was told I had to come in and see an Academic Advisor first. The college is in Florida. I'm in VA. When I applied and called after acceptance to verify items in May, I asked if I would be able to take these last two classes online without ever having to be at the college, including registration, etc, and was told, sure, no problem. Now, I can't take the classes unless I'm in Florida to register. What's the point of online classes if you have to be in the area anyway?
So, I'll be holding off on the classes until Spring 2006. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise. I mean, I've got my surgery coming up and I'm hoping to go back to work in October or November this year, so maybe the classes would just be a lot to deal with right now.
I had two sebaceous cysts that my surgeon required removal of before my surgery. One, in that lovely dark area under my belly where it hangs over, my surgeon removed himself the day of my pre-op in May. It has healed over, no problem. The following Friday, my PCM removed the cyst on my neck that had been there for years upon years. All my prior drs had said the same thing, "Don't worry about it, it'll go away on it's own." Well, it's in the neck roll where the neck meets my shoulder in the back. My PCM removed as much as he could but said it was very deep, almost into the neck muscles, definitely behind them, so he couldn't get all the infection. It healed quite well, then a few days ago, the infection came back. Now, I'm taking super antibiotics and cleaning it every day to try to get it to heal before surgery.
Then, of course, last Wednesday, I get a boil the size of a baseball on the back of my right thigh. It was caused by a fall in the bathtub. I was stepping out and slipped, scraping the inside of that leg on the side of the tub, doing a nasty split. Luckily, I injured nothing but bruised that part of my thigh. Next morning, the boil was there. It took two days before it finally burst, making a huge mess. I cleaned it, bandaged it, cleaned up the area and lysol'd everything, bleaching clothing, etc. Today, the following Monday, it's almost completely healed. Yay!
I was having some anxiety about today and now that the appt is over and things are moving along again, I realize I only have three weeks and 5 days to go (26 days) until my surgery. I still have SOOOO much to do.
Okay, that's my cue to go and get to cleaning, sorting, etc. I still need to order a robe for the hospital!
T.
We did the handouts, final authorization signing, etc, then went up to APD (Same Day Surgery) to meet the anesthesiologist for our final interview for the intubation information.
I had the worst day yesterday. I called to get daycare for my daughter for today's appt and no one was available to care for her, so hubby had to ask for the time from his shop to watch her. I was told the appt was going to be around 4 hours but it ended up being more like 1 1/2 hours. I guess all my paperwork and labs were in order. Some of the others there were still waiting when I left, even though they arrived before I did. Hubby was so happy that I got out early. His shop had called and as some things were missing, they were trying to pin it on him. As soon as I arrived home, he finished getting ready for work and hauled booty to get there and straighten the crap out. (Our daughter is 17 months old today and a handful. She makes it very hard to do ANYTHING that requires concentration unless someone is there to distract her for you.)
Then, yesterday, I logged in to register for my online classes (only two classes needed to finish my AA) and was told that there was a hold and I couldn't register yet. I called to find out what the hold was and was told I had to come in and see an Academic Advisor first. The college is in Florida. I'm in VA. When I applied and called after acceptance to verify items in May, I asked if I would be able to take these last two classes online without ever having to be at the college, including registration, etc, and was told, sure, no problem. Now, I can't take the classes unless I'm in Florida to register. What's the point of online classes if you have to be in the area anyway?
So, I'll be holding off on the classes until Spring 2006. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise. I mean, I've got my surgery coming up and I'm hoping to go back to work in October or November this year, so maybe the classes would just be a lot to deal with right now.
I had two sebaceous cysts that my surgeon required removal of before my surgery. One, in that lovely dark area under my belly where it hangs over, my surgeon removed himself the day of my pre-op in May. It has healed over, no problem. The following Friday, my PCM removed the cyst on my neck that had been there for years upon years. All my prior drs had said the same thing, "Don't worry about it, it'll go away on it's own." Well, it's in the neck roll where the neck meets my shoulder in the back. My PCM removed as much as he could but said it was very deep, almost into the neck muscles, definitely behind them, so he couldn't get all the infection. It healed quite well, then a few days ago, the infection came back. Now, I'm taking super antibiotics and cleaning it every day to try to get it to heal before surgery.
Then, of course, last Wednesday, I get a boil the size of a baseball on the back of my right thigh. It was caused by a fall in the bathtub. I was stepping out and slipped, scraping the inside of that leg on the side of the tub, doing a nasty split. Luckily, I injured nothing but bruised that part of my thigh. Next morning, the boil was there. It took two days before it finally burst, making a huge mess. I cleaned it, bandaged it, cleaned up the area and lysol'd everything, bleaching clothing, etc. Today, the following Monday, it's almost completely healed. Yay!
I was having some anxiety about today and now that the appt is over and things are moving along again, I realize I only have three weeks and 5 days to go (26 days) until my surgery. I still have SOOOO much to do.
Okay, that's my cue to go and get to cleaning, sorting, etc. I still need to order a robe for the hospital!
T.
Fifth Post
Jun 26, 2005
We're nearing the BIG DAY! 49 days to go. 7 weeks exactly! And as I plan to start my liquid diet with a "getting used to the idea" diet on Monday, July 18th, I have three weeks left to eat. My husband, my "food nazi," is being very helpful and supportive. I asked him to be take over that role and he's done very well. After my pre-op, I gained 15 lbs and then last week, one of my psychiatrists doubled my anti-depressant. I have more energy now and have lost 7 lbs of that since beginning the new dosage.
I also have more anxiety though. I dream more and sleep much, much less. This week, when I go back to see my dr, I'm supposed to get a new medication that will ease the increased anxiety. Lovely, just what I want, more medication. But hey, if it's gonna help me, I'll just deal with it.
I may have been getting less sleep, but I actually was able to get out and go to a VA area OH member sponsored picnic at Mt. Trashmore, which is literally 5 mins from our apt. The people there were great! We ended up having to leave around 1:30pm instead of staying to the end because our daughter was over-tired and showing signs of a full blown temper tantrum coming up. Luckily we got her home in time to head most of it off. We ended up having to take her to the complex pool for a dip to wear her out before she finally gave in and passed out.
So, there you have it. My update, in a nutshell.
Peace, love, and blessings.
I also have more anxiety though. I dream more and sleep much, much less. This week, when I go back to see my dr, I'm supposed to get a new medication that will ease the increased anxiety. Lovely, just what I want, more medication. But hey, if it's gonna help me, I'll just deal with it.
I may have been getting less sleep, but I actually was able to get out and go to a VA area OH member sponsored picnic at Mt. Trashmore, which is literally 5 mins from our apt. The people there were great! We ended up having to leave around 1:30pm instead of staying to the end because our daughter was over-tired and showing signs of a full blown temper tantrum coming up. Luckily we got her home in time to head most of it off. We ended up having to take her to the complex pool for a dip to wear her out before she finally gave in and passed out.
So, there you have it. My update, in a nutshell.
Peace, love, and blessings.
Fourth Post
May 13, 2005
Okay, I just made it home from my pre-op appt with a surgery date: August 15th. I'm happy but disappointed at the long wait, but I'm fine with it. If there's a cancellation, I might get in sooner, but I'm not counting on it.
I got there at 8am and sat and waited. My appt was at 8:30am and at 8:35am, Alex came for me. She's a very nice woman. She took me back and weighed me, took my vitals, etc. Then I went to see my surgeon, Dr. Chastanet. I had been concerned that I had gained too much weight, but I had only gained 9 lbs, not the 15 I had thought. The dr went over all the paperwork, waivers, etc for the surgery and had me initial. I expressed a concern about an area on my stomach that never heals properly. It turns out it was a blocked oil gland that I've had for the past 10 years that all my past doctors have just written off as a large zit. He took 20 minutes out of his time and did minor surgery, cutting it right out.
After that, I went back and signed more paperwork. Joan, the bariatric nurse, is friendly, but either has no time or not a lick of bedside manner as she handed me papers to sign and only came back into the room to get them. She didn't stay to ask if I had questions or go over anything with me, like the dr said she would. I was slightly miffed, but said nothing (my own fault).
Anyway, I have my date now and will keep everything updated.
I got there at 8am and sat and waited. My appt was at 8:30am and at 8:35am, Alex came for me. She's a very nice woman. She took me back and weighed me, took my vitals, etc. Then I went to see my surgeon, Dr. Chastanet. I had been concerned that I had gained too much weight, but I had only gained 9 lbs, not the 15 I had thought. The dr went over all the paperwork, waivers, etc for the surgery and had me initial. I expressed a concern about an area on my stomach that never heals properly. It turns out it was a blocked oil gland that I've had for the past 10 years that all my past doctors have just written off as a large zit. He took 20 minutes out of his time and did minor surgery, cutting it right out.
After that, I went back and signed more paperwork. Joan, the bariatric nurse, is friendly, but either has no time or not a lick of bedside manner as she handed me papers to sign and only came back into the room to get them. She didn't stay to ask if I had questions or go over anything with me, like the dr said she would. I was slightly miffed, but said nothing (my own fault).
Anyway, I have my date now and will keep everything updated.
Third Post
Apr 18, 2005
Okay, I was supposed to have my pre-op appt. by now, but first, the general surgery clinic lost my EKG and other paperwork that the bariatric clinic needed. Then, my file disappeared and has yet to reappear. I had another EKG done last week and tried last wednesday to take it to Portsmouth bariatric clinic, but they are doing construction on the hospital parking garage and parking is atrocious!!! I spent an hour driving around looking for a spot before I gave up.
I stressed quite badly. You can see my past post on the VA boards. I got some nice encouragement this time. The last time I had posted about something happening to me on the VA board, I was attacked by someone. I won't go into it, but it was totally unfair and I simply asked to have the post removed and blocked this person from emailing me.
My wonderful, loving husband was great. He calmed me down and offered to drive me to Portsmouth on Monday (today) so I could drop off the EKG and he would just drive around the parking lot if he had to.
This weekend we attempted to drive down to Fayetteville, NC, for my husband's nephew's wedding but we never made it. My daughter, now 14 months old, has her father's lack of ability to sit still for long. We made it to Emporia as she took her afternoon nap while we drove. We stopped for dinner as she had woken up. She was fine at Applebee's, then when we put her back in the carseat, she flipped out. I was sitting in the back with her for this next four hour stretch but that wasn't enough for her. Within 10 minutes of leaving Emporia, she cried so hard, she vomited and then choked on it. Mike, my husband, dove to the side of the road and I got her out of the seat and got her breathing again.
We tried driving on to the next exit and she did it again. We could only go two minutes before we had to stop then start then stop again. We made it to the Roanoke Rapids exit before we gave up. We stopped, called to let them know we couldn't make it, then tried to get a hotel room. Everything was booked! Nothing was available. We rested a bit, then tried to drive back. We barely made it to Emporia before she vomited again. Even in Emporia, no rooms were available.
We had to keep going, so we drove in 10 minute fits and starts, calming my daughter down in between. She finally passed out from crying so hard and we made it another 45 minutes before she woke up again. Even though we had only driven about 120 miles so far, it had taken us four hours. We were exhausted and frustrated and Samantha, our baby, was totally stressed.
We finally made it home around 2:30am and dad got her inside. The instant she saw she was home, she passed out asleep. Daddy layed her down, then passed out across the bed. I dropped her diaper bag in the hall, locked the door and passed out on the couch.
The next morning, she was perfectly happy again. :P Little monkey. Now, hubby's family is slightly mad at us, mainly me because his sister, the groom's mother, thinks it wasn't Sam being upset, it was me not wanting to come and keeping Mike away too. But I won't go into that either.
Well, Monday morning (today), we got up and headed to Portsmouth early. We were lucky to find a parking spot after only 15 minutes and we headed in. We went to Medical Records/ Outpatient Records to see if we could locate my medical record and my daughter's record, which has been missing since February. They claim my record is back at my PCM now, but my daughter's record is MIA and must be rebuilt! Sheesh!
Anyway, we went on to general surgery and I went back to the bariatric clinic, instead of giving my EKG to the front desk secretary like last time. I gave the bariatric secretary my EKG and asked that she make a copy and give me back the original. (I'm learning. :P) She asked my name, then sent me back to the lobby to wait for the original.
When she came out after only a few minutes, she gave me my original and also an appt. card for my pre-op appt! I was so shocked! I'm still sooooo happy. May 13th, at 8:30am with Dr. Chastanet. I'm so excited. Once I have my pre-op, I'll be given a date for my teach appt. and then my surgery date! I'll be counting the days.
I have several other appts until then. I have an appt at my PCM tomorrow for throat problems (possibly tonsilitis), then an appt on May 3rd for mental therapy. Then my pre-op appt. Wow, things are moving now!
Well, that's all for now. God bless us all.
I stressed quite badly. You can see my past post on the VA boards. I got some nice encouragement this time. The last time I had posted about something happening to me on the VA board, I was attacked by someone. I won't go into it, but it was totally unfair and I simply asked to have the post removed and blocked this person from emailing me.
My wonderful, loving husband was great. He calmed me down and offered to drive me to Portsmouth on Monday (today) so I could drop off the EKG and he would just drive around the parking lot if he had to.
This weekend we attempted to drive down to Fayetteville, NC, for my husband's nephew's wedding but we never made it. My daughter, now 14 months old, has her father's lack of ability to sit still for long. We made it to Emporia as she took her afternoon nap while we drove. We stopped for dinner as she had woken up. She was fine at Applebee's, then when we put her back in the carseat, she flipped out. I was sitting in the back with her for this next four hour stretch but that wasn't enough for her. Within 10 minutes of leaving Emporia, she cried so hard, she vomited and then choked on it. Mike, my husband, dove to the side of the road and I got her out of the seat and got her breathing again.
We tried driving on to the next exit and she did it again. We could only go two minutes before we had to stop then start then stop again. We made it to the Roanoke Rapids exit before we gave up. We stopped, called to let them know we couldn't make it, then tried to get a hotel room. Everything was booked! Nothing was available. We rested a bit, then tried to drive back. We barely made it to Emporia before she vomited again. Even in Emporia, no rooms were available.
We had to keep going, so we drove in 10 minute fits and starts, calming my daughter down in between. She finally passed out from crying so hard and we made it another 45 minutes before she woke up again. Even though we had only driven about 120 miles so far, it had taken us four hours. We were exhausted and frustrated and Samantha, our baby, was totally stressed.
We finally made it home around 2:30am and dad got her inside. The instant she saw she was home, she passed out asleep. Daddy layed her down, then passed out across the bed. I dropped her diaper bag in the hall, locked the door and passed out on the couch.
The next morning, she was perfectly happy again. :P Little monkey. Now, hubby's family is slightly mad at us, mainly me because his sister, the groom's mother, thinks it wasn't Sam being upset, it was me not wanting to come and keeping Mike away too. But I won't go into that either.
Well, Monday morning (today), we got up and headed to Portsmouth early. We were lucky to find a parking spot after only 15 minutes and we headed in. We went to Medical Records/ Outpatient Records to see if we could locate my medical record and my daughter's record, which has been missing since February. They claim my record is back at my PCM now, but my daughter's record is MIA and must be rebuilt! Sheesh!
Anyway, we went on to general surgery and I went back to the bariatric clinic, instead of giving my EKG to the front desk secretary like last time. I gave the bariatric secretary my EKG and asked that she make a copy and give me back the original. (I'm learning. :P) She asked my name, then sent me back to the lobby to wait for the original.
When she came out after only a few minutes, she gave me my original and also an appt. card for my pre-op appt! I was so shocked! I'm still sooooo happy. May 13th, at 8:30am with Dr. Chastanet. I'm so excited. Once I have my pre-op, I'll be given a date for my teach appt. and then my surgery date! I'll be counting the days.
I have several other appts until then. I have an appt at my PCM tomorrow for throat problems (possibly tonsilitis), then an appt on May 3rd for mental therapy. Then my pre-op appt. Wow, things are moving now!
Well, that's all for now. God bless us all.
Second Post
Mar 17, 2005
Okay, yes, it's been a while since I posted. I had my initial consult with Dr. Chastanet at NMCP and he's a nice man. He was very up front and honest and grounded. I like that. He took my initial weight as 370 lbs, but I went crazy a bit and gained back up to 380 lbs as of yesterday. :( Yes, yes, I know, I know.
I was supposed to have my Nutrition Eval on 3/7 and my Psych Eval on 3/10, but my 1 yr old had the stomach flu and we ended up at the ER with her after she had such bad diahhrea and vomiting that she was hungry, but couldn't hold anything down. Her poor eyes were sunken in and she was very unhappy, but luckily, she's fine.
I rescheduled and had my Psych Eval on Tuesday, 3/15. My Nutrition Eval is set for Monday, 3/21. I passed the Psych Eval, with the provision that I get therapy set up before surgery and continue with it afterwards.
I have been overweight as far back as I can remember. I remember breaking my arm at age 11 and the doctor telling my mother that as long as I didn't gain any more weight, I'd be fine as an adult. I was 11 and already weight 150 lbs. Within the next year, I had ballooned to 180 and when I finally graduated high school, I was 260 lbs. I really don't remember ever wearing jeans under a size 18. And I don't wear jeans at all now, because I can't find them to fit and not cost a right arm and left leg.
The psychologist, Dr. Hain, agrees with me that my being molested at age 9-10 led to my initial weight gain as a defense mechanism that ballooned out of control.
When I told my mother about what had happened to me, she was shocked and upset, blaming herself that she had not seen any signs and stopped it. I told her it wasn't her fault. It had been the babysitter's husband, a dirty old man who threatened me as a child that if I told anyone, he'd do it to my 4 yr old sister as well. I pushed it down mentally and only finally remembered it at age 16. Even now I don't remember if it went "all the way" because everytime I try to think about it, my brain shuts down and I get an anxiety attack. I think it did happen, but I can't remember the final act. He's dead now and I think God let him off too easy by giving him prostate cancer.
It turns out though, that my mother had been molested by her mother's brother when she was a child. I was truly shocked. She said she had never told anyone except me. Now, she is afraid for my daughter, that the pattern will be repeated. I swear to God, I may go to Hell, I may go to jail, but anyone harms my daughter, any man touches my child like that, and I'll castrate him and make him eat it until he chokes and dies.
Okay, calming down.
I'm closer to my goal and have a weight lifted off me with the sharing of the secret, but I'm still afraid I have so much left to go. I fear that I may be pregnant again and I'm afraid that if I am pregnant again and have to put off the surgery for another 2 years to have the child, I may end up resenting the child. I pray that I'm not pregnant and that after I've come so far, waited so long, that this will happen for me.
Yes, I'm being selfish. All my life I've done for others, I've given everything I have for other's comfort and wellbeing. This is for ME! This is truly the first thing I'm doing solely for my benefit. I'm praying, begging God to let this happen. Please, please God, let this happen for me.
Amen, for now.
I was supposed to have my Nutrition Eval on 3/7 and my Psych Eval on 3/10, but my 1 yr old had the stomach flu and we ended up at the ER with her after she had such bad diahhrea and vomiting that she was hungry, but couldn't hold anything down. Her poor eyes were sunken in and she was very unhappy, but luckily, she's fine.
I rescheduled and had my Psych Eval on Tuesday, 3/15. My Nutrition Eval is set for Monday, 3/21. I passed the Psych Eval, with the provision that I get therapy set up before surgery and continue with it afterwards.
I have been overweight as far back as I can remember. I remember breaking my arm at age 11 and the doctor telling my mother that as long as I didn't gain any more weight, I'd be fine as an adult. I was 11 and already weight 150 lbs. Within the next year, I had ballooned to 180 and when I finally graduated high school, I was 260 lbs. I really don't remember ever wearing jeans under a size 18. And I don't wear jeans at all now, because I can't find them to fit and not cost a right arm and left leg.
The psychologist, Dr. Hain, agrees with me that my being molested at age 9-10 led to my initial weight gain as a defense mechanism that ballooned out of control.
When I told my mother about what had happened to me, she was shocked and upset, blaming herself that she had not seen any signs and stopped it. I told her it wasn't her fault. It had been the babysitter's husband, a dirty old man who threatened me as a child that if I told anyone, he'd do it to my 4 yr old sister as well. I pushed it down mentally and only finally remembered it at age 16. Even now I don't remember if it went "all the way" because everytime I try to think about it, my brain shuts down and I get an anxiety attack. I think it did happen, but I can't remember the final act. He's dead now and I think God let him off too easy by giving him prostate cancer.
It turns out though, that my mother had been molested by her mother's brother when she was a child. I was truly shocked. She said she had never told anyone except me. Now, she is afraid for my daughter, that the pattern will be repeated. I swear to God, I may go to Hell, I may go to jail, but anyone harms my daughter, any man touches my child like that, and I'll castrate him and make him eat it until he chokes and dies.
Okay, calming down.
I'm closer to my goal and have a weight lifted off me with the sharing of the secret, but I'm still afraid I have so much left to go. I fear that I may be pregnant again and I'm afraid that if I am pregnant again and have to put off the surgery for another 2 years to have the child, I may end up resenting the child. I pray that I'm not pregnant and that after I've come so far, waited so long, that this will happen for me.
Yes, I'm being selfish. All my life I've done for others, I've given everything I have for other's comfort and wellbeing. This is for ME! This is truly the first thing I'm doing solely for my benefit. I'm praying, begging God to let this happen. Please, please God, let this happen for me.
Amen, for now.
