mskarma36

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Well I woke up this morning at my usual time, 5 AM for my 1 mile jog on my treadmill, but that didn't happen! my sinuses were on full tilt and my head was knocking. I am not too sure what happened but it was crazy. The only thing I was able to do was step on the scale. I started this new leaf on the 2 nd of January weighing in at 167 lbs. well I got on the scale and I am down 7 lbs. that made me smile. So now that I have cut out the carbs and as of yesterday ramped up my treadmill from a brisk walk to a nice jog. so now I have to see what the scale says next Sunday for my own personal weight watchers.....LOL

Well yesterday was the first of the New Year and a lot of starting overs for a lot or people including me. I said in a previous blog that I was going all in cold turkey!  Well i got one thing down the turkey part. UM! YEA! just quilting coffee cold turkey was not a great idea. So now I must do what all addicts do and that is wen myself off. So yesterday since I had the whole day to focus on what I was eating and what I was doing. I had my normal 2 cups well really a cup and a half because I never finished that second cup. I spent the rest of the day fighting head hungry and trying my best to not graze in my kitchen like a cow. I did pretty good until the end of the night! This is where the left turn or the wrong turn happened. See since I have been eating all wrong for so long I have more than a few things to correct, retract and un-do. At night is when I graze. i clean the kitchen and I snack. I fix the kids lunches I snack. I have to go back to the no eating after 7:30 and nothing but water. 

It was like I was a having an out of body experience. I saw me eating those bad things and was standing right next to myself saying WOW! you really inhaled that or NO! You didn't' just pop that in your mouth. Even now as I sit here sipping this coffee it doesn't taste as satisfying as it once use too.  But I did wake up this morning and pack a nice lunch and I will make my smoothie for this morning and water the rest of the day. This road is going to be slow but I will make it! This is what I have too  tell myself. I have to rebuild my mind and curb the things that are truly bad. 

Well it is the last day of 2012 and along with the rest of the world I am making my New Years Lists of things I would like to control, understand, learn and complete. The one thing that is on my list this year that has not been on my list in years is loose weight. Since my surgery in 2005 the weight has either been below or at a nice point that I didn't notice when it started to come back. Like all things when you have a bad habit you don't notice until you are caught or someone looks at you oddly or it threatens your life. Well I guess all of the above hit me here and there over the last few years. I noticed that changes but ignored them none the less. between 2007 and 2008 I had dropped to my lowest weight ever a whole 127 lbs. Let me tell you that BMI/weight chart in the doctors office is so wrong on so many levels.

I say this because I am not what the world considers average. I am an African American woman that has hips a booty and thighs. and at 5'7" 127 lbs on this frame I looked sick very much like a crack head. too the point that my family began to question me. I had one of my family members who is a health fanatic pull me to the side and told me point blank EAT A BURGER!!!!  so I started to evaluate what I was eating. at that point I was working two jobs and waking a good 3 - 4 miles a day. But I was eating! But not eating the amount to maintain a healthy weight for me. 

I got up to 135 lbs. that 8 lbs on me made a huge difference in my appearance. So I stayed there from early 2009 until the summer of 2010. SN: isn't it odd I can pinpoint my decline? ok back to the tale! at that point I started working just the one job back in an office setting not walking anywhere that much and then I was having a small cup of coffee a day. At this point we had a coffee maker in our home but I n=didn't use it my husband did when he wasn't out to sea which was a lot. So with the now intake of coffee and less water the snacking started and not the good snacking. No carrots or even a spoon full of peanut butter here and there. OH! NO! not me. I had to get all the way on the wagon and ride it out. 

Now I am here at the end of 2012 I have gained a whopping 30 lbs give or take. my blood pressure is back with a vengeance, coffee has just about pushed water out the door, and the carbs OH! My Sweet Carbs oh how I miss, loathe and hate and love you all in one breathe. I have thought long and hard this last month of the year and yes I have a game plan. i have talked with the nutritionists and was encourage to quit cold turkey if I could. Or I could have a small cup of tea if my body just need to have something warm in the morning as a part of the routine. 

But I thought NO! Cold Turkey it is. So starting tomorrow morning. I will have a new routine. Now hot anything in the morning. nothing but my workout, smoothie and water water water and more water. I sit at a desk all day and I know if I don't make any changes no matter how small I will end up back at square one before the surgery. I have to get my tool under control and make it work for. me. So if you are reading this I hope you continue to follow my journey. I may not blog everyday and if I do it may not be just about WLS and the trip I am about to go on again. I promise you this! It will be blunt and my truth because I have a lot of baggage that has to be dealt with and if blogging is my way of dealing then so be it. I hope you that are reading this have a happy and amazing 2013.