need2Bme
I am 26 years old, 27 in March 2008. I am a mother of two, 7 year old daughter and 5 year old son. I have the MOST amazing husband any woman could ever pray for. I am a returning college student at LSU working towards a Computer Science bachelors degree and minor in Business Admin. I am truly blessed. So why am I so very very unhappy? Well I've been overweight for the majority of my life now. I started out a very skinny little girl. I was always teased by my family, which didn't bother me b/c who cares about weight at 6, 7, 9, 10 years old? Well puberty hit along with some other tragedies in my life and BAM! It began. The emotional, self-soothing love affair with food. I ate Hot Sauage Po-Boys, Red Beans, Fried Rice and Mandarin chicken, Quarter Pounders, Brownies, Fresh-baked cookies, chocolate milk, and rice with just about EVERYTHING! Now as I look back at the last 12-13 years of my life I realize that the food never really made me happy. It actually just made me sadder and hate myself more and more. So it's time for a change but I'm not afraid to say that I need a bit of help. I grew up with TRUE New Orleanian cooks for parents who never said the words I LOVE YOU just cooked them into the food they fed me soooo I need to break up with food. I love you, but you are ruining my life. I am no longer getting the satisfaction that I thought I got when I had you. I am feeling neglected by you. You come and you go but you never leave me with anything. Nothing but feelings of guilt, emptiness and wanting more. I am through with you. I am looking for comfort elsewhere. I am looking for self-worth, self-esteem, courage, strength and most of all, true love. Love for myself and love for life. So as fun as these years have been, all the sweets, and seasoned meats, we have to part. I will miss you but I know you'll still be there. ONLY when I NEED you, to nourish me. Only in times of TRUE hunger. I will get over you and go on with my life as a much happier and healthier person.
