1 year anniversary/DS surgery*

Jun 05, 2010

Amazing....this year has flown by so quickly.  I have made so many changes in my life.  My eating habits, by thinking habits....the ride has been unbelievable! 
I went back to my blog before my surgery.  I read and relived every single word.  The emotions and feelings rushed back at me!  The most vivid emotion that I had is the feeling of having NO HOPE.   
Before I had my DS, I would spend the first few minutes of every day, waking up and promising myself that I would stay on my DIET.  The last few hours of every day, I would berate myself for being such an enormous pig for not staying on my diet.  The guilt and remorse were a constant.  And boy could I guilt myself.  Just the memory of that guilt gives me a knot in my stomach!  
In the last year, I have found my health, my strength, my hope and my happiness.  I had some difficulties to begin with (a wound that de-hissed at 1 week out and additional healing time, not to forget the "wound care nurses" and the "wound vac")but, I am grateful for every single day.  I am amazed at how easily I am satisfied by food of any kind.  I feel energized every single day and enjoy every opportunity to get out and walk, play with my dog, run up the stairs....amazing!   I can hardly wait to get up every morning and seem to finish projects in record time.   I did not lose much hair.....it was slightly more than normal on the brush but not noticed on my head at all!  YAY!
I am still losing weight....slowly, but that is alright.  I will not be a slave to the scale or to "numbers".  When I am done losing, I believe that my body will just settle in.  I have a natural thirst now and have no problems getting in my fluids or my protein.  I naturally crave protein and can now eat veggies and some berries without any tummy issues.  I stay away from breads, rice, pasta and any sugar.  Splenda is my "go to" when I need something sweet.  Strawberries and Splenda....yummmm!!!
I had my first "Cosmo cocktail" on Memorial Day.  Wow!  I don't need much of that anymore!  It hit me like a ton of bricks!
My weight loss isn't stellar or in record time but, I am healthy, happy and now have something that I never had before,
HOPE.    My future looks amazingly bright. 

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