NikkiC
ONE YEAR POST-OP! YAY :-D
Aug 27, 2008
The one thing that really moves me is how amazing the people in my life have been. My husband Derrick has been my rock, my shoulder to cry on, my hand to hold, and any and everything else that I needed. From day one, he has been on this journey with me never once complaining. I laugh at some of the moments we shared like the liquid and puree phases that we BOTH went through. Who would do that?! Give up a ‘real’ meal for pureed food when they don’t have to?! I know it would’ve been hard for me especially since food was my best friend! But these are the kind of moments that make me feel so blessed. Having a partner who supports you more than you possibly imagined and loves you unconditionally. I thank him everyday, especially today because I know that without his support this journey would have been even harder. My Parents & Sisters have encouraged me and helped me adjust to this new lifestyle. They have been flexiblefrom changing family recipes and learning newer and healthier meals, re-adjusting their schedules and working out with me at my pace. My sisters have been patient while shopping for clothes in stores that I considered “their sizes” while I was adamant that “This stuff can not fit me” to I “I think I need a smaller size”. They have loved me and supported me when I made it difficult and for that I am grateful. My best friend Darby attended information sessions with me until I found the perfect surgeon. Asked me different questions to be sure that I was sure, and ready to take on all of the challenges that this surgery brings with. She emailed other people she knew who had the surgery to ask them questions for me. She has supported me no matter what. I was so afraid that our friendship would change as I had heard so many other people tell me they have experienced. I am so blessed that she has loved me no matter what size I am. She still invites me to do all the things we did before and continues to se me for who I am, who I’ve always been. Other “friends” have come and gone, but she has remained consistent, dependable, and non-judgmental. For that and everything else I will forever be thankful. Words can not express how much I appreciate her and our friendship. My girlfriend Beth who was and still is my go to person for “is this normal, did this happen to you, do I need to call the doctor?!”. She has been so amazing. She was the one person who could relate to everything I was going through whether physically or emotionally because she too had been there four years ago (08/09/04). From sharing protein horrors and recipe ideas to me keeping her on track for taking her vitamins. I thank her for always being available to share my fears as well and my triumphs like crossing my legs and having a tremendous amount of energy. She understands and has been open to re-living the experience with me. For that I love her.
There are so many more people who have been instrumental in my life and through this journey. I’m so thankful for the many new friends that I’ve come to know from here and my support group who have added so much to this journey by sharing their stories, experiences and ideas with me. To those of you thinking about this surgery or wondering if it’s worth it, only you can answer that question. I will say that your life will change in so many ways, and the good, by far definitely out weighs the bad. Whatever you decide, be sure that you are making the decision for YOURSELF. For those of you already on the journey, I wish you much success as we strive toward new goals and the opportunities that await us. Good luck to you all. And don’t give up!
Love, Nikki
Nine Months Post-Op
May 27, 2008
Today is my nine months surgiversary and I’m having a bit of trouble after seeing my numbers on the scale not move as much as I wanted. I weighed in at 176.2. - only a lost of 4 lbs. in one month. I don’t know what’s going on with this four pound loss for the last two months. And what’s up with this point 2 lbs. that I keep seeing month after month?!? I’m really upset about it and part of me feels like my tool has ‘stopped’ working. I don’t know what else to do. I’m just very frustrated right now. I’m trying to stay positive keeping in mind how far I have come, but sometimes it’s a little hard and today is one of those days. Matter of fact this has been a bad month emotionally which is the other half of having this surgery. I knew that it would be difficult, dealing with all of the emotional reasons that I was able to use food as a coping mechanism for so many years and then having to re-learn how to have a healthier relationship with food. I think it was a little easier for me to deal with, when I was losing significant amounts of weight in the first few months right after surgery. Now that it has slowed down somewhat, and I have more time to think about everything more in detail. I’m praying that everything will pick up, my weight loss and my spirits. This blog hasn’t turned out as uplifting as I wanted it to be, but it’s honest and it’s real. It’s part of the learning and growing process that comes along on this journey. Hopefully, next month I’ll have better news to report on the weight loss front and I’ll be a bit more cheerful. Wish me luck, & keep praying for me as I do for all of my weight loss OH Family!
~Nikki
Eight Months Post-Op
Apr 27, 2008
I can't belive how quickly the time has passed! I feel like I was preparing to start this journey just yesterday and here I am eight months later feeling better than I've felt in YEARS! God is SO AWESOME!! I weighed in at 180.2 today which is only 4.4lbs. lost in a month but considering I was at a pleatue for two months, I'm glad that I lost something. I was really hoping that it would be more so I am a little disappointed. Now, if I can lose at least 14 lbs. a month I'll be able to meet my goal of 125 for my one year surgiversary! The personal trainer that I really want to work with is on vacation until May 31st but that just means I have to step it up on my own until then. I know that she'll definitely be able to whip me into shape and hopefully help me to my goal weight in the timeframe that I want. Prayfully it will all work out. I don't have much to report since I recently updated my 5,6,&7 months just two weeks ago. I definitely need to take my measurements so I'll do that first thing in the morning. Good luck to you too! ~Nikki
5, 6, & 7 Months Post-Op
Apr 17, 2008
I can't believe I haven't updated my page since January at 4 months out!! So much has happend..I've been so busy. At my last weigh in, I was 196. 0 When I weighed in on my official weigh date (01/27/08) I was 192.4 only a lost of 3.6lbs. From then I was on a serious plateau of no losses which bothered me immensely. It's funny when I think about how I feel when I don't see the numbers move down on the scale now, compared to pre-op when the numbers would go up, and up and up and I would say "o well, that's another 5, 10, or 15 lbs that I've gained" and totally shrug my shoulders and eat whatever it was that I wanted. But seeing the numbers stagnant now, frightens me more than anything. I guess it's a defense mechanism. I always think "I don't want to go back to where I was" and seeing the number not move, always seem to bring up that fear in me. Especially now that my eating habits have kind of "normalized' in that I can eat a bit more variety than a few months before. Lord knows I was sick of TUNA because it's easy to chew and I tolerated it really well. If I never see a pouch of tuna again I will be thrilled!! Anyways, being stuck at 192..4 - 192.0 for two months was a bit rough. I knew I was still losing because the clothes that I had bought were all too big again. This meant that I was losing inches. I am so proud to say that I can fit a size 12!! This is a huge blessing coming from a size 24 just seven months ago. Not only am I in a size 12, but the 12's are too big as well! I've been really conservative about replacing my wardrobe so everything that I have purchased has been from a consignment shop. Derrick keeps telling me to just go get whatever I want, but I really don't want to invest too much money in clothes that will be too big in a month or so again. I'm waiting for my 1 year because hopefully I will have reached my goal weight and stabilize a lot more.
I had my 7 months post op with
God Bless & Good luck to all of you out there on this journey.
~Nikki
4 Months Out
Jan 17, 2008
I've been so busy since Thanksgiving with Christmas right around the corner and me getting back on track with life in general. This is the first opportunity I've had to log on and update my journey. I had my 4 month post op appointment with
Happy New Year!
~Nikki
Three Months Out :-)
Nov 27, 2007
I made it to three months out and so far, everything has gone SO smoothly! I am very blessed. My goal for October was to be less than 200lbs….unfortunately, I didn’t reach my goal L I was at a plateau for three weeks. I kept getting on the scale only to find that there were no changes no matter what I did. That kind of threw me into a bit of depression and frustration. Finally, last week, on Thanksgiving of all days, I was thrilled to see that the scale had finally moved…it didn’t move much but at lease it moved… I weighed in today at 201.00 lbs. My BMI is down to 34.5. My clothes are getting really big on me now but I haven’t even tried my size 16 jeans since last month. I was so frustrated that the scale wasn’t moving so I didn’t want to throw myself into an even deeper funk. I’m planning on trying on my 16’s before the week is over and hopefully *fingers crossed* they’ll fit comfortably. I did find that I’m having more trouble with my vitamins.. the orange flavor multivitamins are completely non-tolerable for me. I hate the taste and I gag every time I put one in my mouth. After this month’s support group, I realized that it was definitely time for a change. I contacted Bariatric Advantage yesterday to order a new flavor multivitamin –
~Nikki
Sometimes You Just Have To Go Through
Nov 11, 2007
The last two weeks have absolutely been hell for Derrick and me. Five very special people (family & friends) have passed away and at this point, I don't feel that I have the strength to attend another home going service. The hardest I would have to say is Danny's. He was my best friends brother.. only 22 years old. He was truly the epitome of a Good and Faithful Servant. Danny was the kind of person that we all strive to be like. He loved EVERYONE, he befriended everyone, and he never had a negative thing to say about anyone. This young man impacted so many lives that there were over 600+ people at his funeral. There was standing room only in the church and there were more than 200+ people outside the church. Some people live to be well into their 80's & 90's and never have the opportunity to touch as many lives as Danny. We all laughed a bit at the funeral when his best friend joked of how he would befriend the homeless men on the corners on his way to class each morning. That's just the kind of person he was. He always wanted to make sure that everyone in his life felt loved. He never ever hung up the phone with out saying "Love you" no matter who was on the other end. There are so many wonderful things about Danny that I haven't even touched on. The most amazing thing of all was his love for the LORD. He was definitely a good and faithful servant and I have no doubt that when he was called home, he heard the words "Well Done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful with a few things; I will make the ruler over many things" Danny was as Christ like as all Christians strive to be. Everyone who spoke, all said the same thing, he was a GREAT man. We heard so many stories of how Danny was such a blessing to all his friends and family, all of the wonderful things he did, and about the character that he lived his live with. We never expect to walk out of a Funeral feeling inspired, but hearing all these stories about Danny inspired all of us there to want to do better, and BE better. If we could live our lives a fraction of how Danny lived, then there's no limit to what we can accomplish and how many people we can inspire. I pray that when it's my time to go, I will have a portion of the testimonies that were given about how special Danny was. It always breaks our heart when they’re people like Danny in our lives who we see as 'perfect' leave us so suddenly and we question why God chose them first. After everyone was gone a few days after the service, Derrick and I stayed there because we knew that reality would set in once the family was alone. His mom was weeping so hard that she could hardly breathe. The only words she managed to get out were to ask me, "Why"?, She kept asking me "WHY DANNY"? I didn't know what to say, but at that moment, God had equipped me with the words to comfort her. I had been asking myself the same questions all week long and couldn't find the answer. In that moment, I don't know where it came from, but I was able to relate it to something that was meaningful to her. Mom D is an avid
God Bless You All.
~Nikki
Two Months Post-Op
Oct 31, 2007
My two month post-op was on Saturday October 27th, but this past week has been so difficult. We’ve had a total of two funerals in less than one week and we’re flying out for our third on Friday. It’s been a mental struggle for me, but I know that when difficult times like these arrive, it simply means that God in preparing to bless us in a way that is beyond our comprehension. One major thing is that I haven’t thought about turning to food for comfort with all that has been going on. I’ve been talking with Derrick and my really amazing supportive friends about it all and that has been my outlet. Even this soon after surgery, I’m surprised at how disciplined I have been in that regards knowing that I have been an emotional eater for years and years.
I had my follow up appointment with Dr. Moazzez on Wednesday October 24th. As always, I weighed in on his scale that is 6lbs. over than my scale. His scale said that I was 212 lbs. which he was very happy with. I knew it was really 206lbs so that made me feel better although I didn’t meet my goal of being in Onederland or fitting into my size 16 jeans. The 18’s are too big but the 16’s are too snug. Hopefully that will level out before my three month post-op weigh in and measurements.
My appetite has definitely returned, but I’m glad that I have this new tool to limit me. I’m blessed that I haven’t had any problems with digestion or lack there of. I’ve added Kashi’s Good Friends High Fiber Cereal to my diet and it’s been working really well with keeping me regular. I’m thrilled that I can finally enjoy a salad and other fresh fruits. The canned stuff was starting to annoy me. I went to MOM’s and stocked up on all my organic produce so I’ve been enjoying this new phase. Hopefully my next update will be a bit more exciting and uplifting. I’m just glad that I finally had an opportunity to sit down and write because doing this is always therapeutic. I’ll try to update my measurement Chart as soon as I get back in town. Good luck to you all and stay strong and focused on your journey.
~Nikki
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One Month Post-Op
Sep 27, 2007
I can't believe that it's already been one month since my surgery. I had my one month post-op follow up with Dr. Moazzez yesterday which went well. My incisions are healing quite well and my recovery is going as planned.
My Weight Loss Journey
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PRE-OP
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8/27/2007
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9/27/07
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Weight
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261.00
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245.40
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218.00
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BMI
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45
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42
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37.4
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Waist
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54''
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45''
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Chest
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48''
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45''
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Thigh
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26''
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26''
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Arm
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14''
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14''
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Wrist
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7.5''
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7''
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Ankle
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9.75''
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9.25''
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Calf
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17.5''
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15.5''
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Neck
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17.5''
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16''
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Hips
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50.5''
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48''
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Shoe Size
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9
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9
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9
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Dress Size
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24 W
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22 W
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?
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Pants Size
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24 W
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22 W
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18
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My Goals for October are:
~ To be in ONEDERLAND by 10/27/07
~ Eat 3 meals/day, drink 64oz.water, drink 2 protein shakes, & increase my workout to 45 minutes
~ Be able to fit into my size 16 Jeans
Please continue to keep me in your prayers as I travel on this journey to a healthier me. Best of luck to you all.
~Nikki
One Week Out
Sep 04, 2007
I'm now one week post-op and I'm feeling pretty well. I've been walking a lot on the treadmill and keeping up with my full liquid diet which I'm really ready to be off! I'm still having a hard time getting in all my water and my protein some days, but hopefully that will get better. I have to admit that I've been so hungry. I've been drinking nothing but broth, water, and my protein which keeps me running back and forth to the bathroom. I'm glad that I only have a few days left of the liquid diet so that I can move on to my pureed stage. I meet with Dr. Mo for my follow up on Thursday morning so hopefully he'll say that it's okay for me to move forward. So far I've already lost 11lbs. so I'm pleased with that. Mom & Dad, Derrick, and my sisters all say that I look smaller, but I don't really see any difference. Hopefully that too will change soon! Other than that.. things are going great and I'm happy. 
