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Sooo frustrated with my lack of weight loss. Started at 304 (6/28/07) and two weeks ago my dietician weighed me at 282.5 - so here's my frustration...The scale hasn't moved in over 2 weeks and then tonight I step on the forbidden scale and it reads 285! Now I'm a reasonable woman and I know it did not take me 5 weeks to put on 300 pounds and it certainly won't come off that quickly, but jeez! give me something to work with, some kind of incentive that this is all worth it. I've been tracking on fitday and some days I get my 40 grams of protein in if not more. I'm pretty good with the water because my body feels it if I am dehydrated. I also notice that I'm getting in about 500 calories a day. I think I need to up that, but I can't do it my surgeon's recommended way of 3 meals a day. The dietician also wants me off all protein powders/drinks by my 6 week follow up. (Not going to happen.) I think I'm going to eat several smaller meals (as if my meals can get any smaller) and continue with protein drinks. My biggest problem since surgery is my mood/state of mind. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I think I'm going a little looney. I am so angry and mad all the time. It's almost as if I'm waiting for someone in my family to cross my path so I can rip their head off. I think my brain is a little goofy right now. I know I should post on the messageboards to see what other people are going through, but I'm a little scared to. My daughter (5) got the wrath of me tonight. I'm working on a project for school that I blew off all summer (deadline is getting closer). I have all these papers carefully organized and in order. My little one trashed my pile doing something she shouldn't have. I should have calmly told her that she needed to help me pick it all up, but no...I end up screaming like a banshee for five minutes and having no control over whatever possessed me. Scott intervenes and I end up yelling at him also. What is going on??? This must pass soon because none of us can live like this. HELP!! How much estrogen could my fat cells be releasing to make this nutso?

I had my gastric bypass done Thursday morning (6/28/07) and I got home Saturday around 7:00pm. The day of the surgery was pretty uncomfortable, but each day has gotten better. I was so scared that it was going to be as bad or worse than having my gallbladder out, but it is so much easier. The nurse that was prepping me for surgery said that because I was in the middle of a gallbladder attack and had to have emergency surgery than that was probably why I had such a difficult recovery from that. Basically, I wasn't healthy going into emergency surgery, which made the recovery much harder. Made sense, but I was thrilled when I didn't have the pain I thought I was going to have. I hate sleeping on my back and I already can sleep on either side. The only complaint I had with this surgery was the anesthesiologist was, I feel, too rough with me. My uvula (I think that's what it is called, you know that thingy that hangs down in the back of your throat) is twice as long and freakishly fat that it is making me gag. I think they they did something to it when they put the breathing tube in. It hasn't gone down that much so I'm waiting for that. It makes talking very uncomfortable. I think that made my gag reflex work overtime and was probably the only reason I threw up some blood on surgery day and the following day. They also chipped a tiny bit off of one of my front teeth. So I'm kinda upset over that. You know you want to think that they're so gentle with you when you're put under, that it's upsetting to know that they must have been rough with you. (You know what I mean.) :) Anyway, I'm home and resting comfortably. I can't really talk so I'm doing a lot of reading and watching TV (two things I'm really good at). In the hospital I got frequent visits from Emme doodle bug, which was so fun to see what a gentle and caring little girl she is. And then two seconds later...she's doing flips off of the hospital bed and we know it's time for her to go.

I've been lurking on OH for a few months now. I still haven't posted any messages (kind of nervous...it's all new to me...not a big computer person...etc...), but I've gotten brave enough to set up a profile page. I felt entitled to enter this phase since I got a date for surgery. Now that it's becoming real, I can delve into the OH world. I'm a little leary of the internet, but I also have had so many people tell me the only way WLS will work is if I surround myself with a wonderful support system. So I guess that's what I'm here to do!