northern_mama

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I got an email this morning say that today is my 7 year anniversary!  Wow!  I'm still down around 95 lbs.  I have had to use Weight Watchers over the past year to lose some weight (around 10 lbs).  I still get "dump" if I have too much sugar.  I still can't overeat without getting sick.  I'm so grateful for this surgery!  It's been a wonderful 7 years and being heavy is just a distant memory.  :)

I think yesterday was my surgery anniversary.  Wow!  I do not own a scale so I'm not positive on my current weight.  Still a size 14 as I've been for the past couple years. 

I never get on the boards anymore.  It seems like a distant memory - the old days when I was heavy.  I do feel like I could gain back the weight if I weren't careful.  I'm not working out and I don't count protein so I'm not trying too hard.  I still don't drink with my meals but that is probably the only rule I follow anymore.  I can have sugar but limited amounts.  Too much fat or sugar and I will dump.  If I just plain eat too much I will get sick as well.  So after 5 years I still feel like the surgery acts as my inner policeman letting me know to stick within my boundaries. 

I was so proud of myself for not taking any medicine today.  I had a headache and took tylenol in the morning and afternoon but that was it.  All day I had a mild ache in my stomach - kind of like if someone had punched you in the stomach earlier and now you were just sore.  But by 5pm it hurt to even take much of a breath so I decided to take some more medicine.  I hope that I'm all better tomorrow.  Not that this is unbearable but I don't care for it.  I'd like to take a deep breath but that would not be a good idea right now.  Still, on a scale of 1-10 it is only a 3.  When I take a deep breath then it's maybe a 6.

I can't imagine what I'd be like if I'd had plastic surgery like I wanted.  I'm positive I'd need lots of drugs to cope with that.  ;)

I went yesterday to MMPC endoscopy and had my 2nd sclerotherapy treatment done.  The first one was last year around May (I think).  My opening was just as large as it had been last year so I'm not sure what to think of that.  I was too out of it afterwards (when they show you the size of your opening) to say anything.  I think I will schedule a follow-up to ask about how my opening got so big again.  Perhaps it is simply that I'm abusing my pouch or perhaps it is just normal.  I'm not sure I'd want to do this every year.  

I was scared this time.  It all felt so surgical.  The nurses and the IV and all the questions.  I don't know.  Everything went fine.  

Afterwards I went over to the CFHE and bought 1 weeks worth of a pre-op diet.  Yesterday I had 1 packet of protein (their pudding/protein drink).  Today I had coffee and a protein bar.  I'm hoping to have 1 shake for lunch and 1 for dinner.  I can't remember how many things you are allowed to have in a day.  I think it is 3 sometimes 4.  Anyway the sclero plus this preop diet should help get me back on track.

We joined the Y and I have been going atleast 2-3 times a week.  I've also been lifting weights!  It feels good to workout.  I have not weighed myself because I get too caught up in numbers and I don't want to get discouraged.  So I'm just going to keep working out and hopefully I will lose some but if not I still need to workout.  I want to be healthy.  Exercising helps me feel more in control and gives me an outlet for all my anxiety and junk.  I went to Zumba on Monday and was in such a bad mood beforehand but a few minutes into  the class, I was fine and when it was over I felt great!  Tired but great!  So I hope that this year I continue to workout. 

I was checking my email last night and I had a message from Obesity Help saying Happy Anniversary.  I can't believe I forgot!  I think I forgot last year too.  So I thought I should write something about how I'm doing.

After my sclero I gained the weight I lost back.  I wear a size 14.  I still feel good and am very happy I had the surgery.  I used to feel quite scared once I started gaining that I wasn't going to get things together and get back in control.  So even though I gained my sclero weight back I no longer feel out of control.  I don't know if it is a false sense of security or not but since I usually feel anxious and worried I'll take it!

I worked out last night at the Y.  My friend invited me to a Zooma class.  It was part core training and part dance.  It was very, very hard but it was also so much fun.  I actually laughed outloud several times.  I think I need an outlet like that.  Not just physically but emotionally too.  So I'm hoping my husband turns in his paperwork to join the Y so that I can start going.  I have a couple friends that go there and that helps motivate me to keep going.  

I have to say for whatever reason that since I've had this surgery I have struggled with my spiritual walk.  I don't think I was emotionally prepared to lose weight.  Having it fly off and then I looked good was lots of fun but it brought things out in me that I thought I'd outgrown.  Like drinking too much.  I've struggled with that ever since surgery.  

I hope that a year from now I'll be more solid in my faith, and that I'll work out on a regular basis.  Other than that I feel pretty good.

I went for my sclero checkup on Friday.  I have lost 7 lbs.  Dr. Baker indicated that my opening was large enough that if I wanted I could have sclero done again.  I told him that I thought I was doing good and could feel a fullness now.  So he said that if I hit a plateau then to schedule another sclero and that that would help me out even more.  

I found out that a gym nearby has classes everyday at 9:30am and you don't have to join - just drop in and they have childcare!  So today was my first day and when I found out it was going to be Yoga, I thought YEAH - I can ease my way back into working out!  Oh-ho-ho Wrong!  It was so hard.  I was shaking and sweating and it was hard.  I am so proud of myself.  I'm hoping to go 3 X's a week.  I couldn't bear to see Dr. Baker again and tell him that I'm not working out!  My husband said we may join the Y next month and if so then they have childcare and aerobics too so either way I will be set.  These classes are $3 per class and $1 per child.  I love it that I don't have to join though.

So heres to working up a sweat and hoping that I will continue on with this...

I went to MMPC today at 8:45am.  Had the sclero at 10am.  Dr. Baker asked me if I was exercising and I had to say NO.  I was so ashamed to admit that.  Here I was in my hospital gown, IV, blood pressure cup on, oxygen sensor, and all these machines and nurses and I have to say NO.  How pathetic is that?  Hopefully I will remember that moment and use it to motivate myself to get moving.  I have been active lately but not like I need to be.  I dug a 30 foot trench and have been carting around dirt, mulch, and pea gravel.  Anyway, back to the sclero, I was uncomfortable when I "woke up".  Maybe a 4 out of 10.  They gave me a scrip for lortab which I have been taking every 4 hours (4 tsp).  I had a couple protein shakes today and a few bites of ham.  I don't want to stress my little area out so I'm going to take it easy.  Get back to the basics.  Slow down, chew more, limit snacks, eat protein first, drink water and get some exercise.

I have to make a followup appt for 6 weeks so I will be updating again to say how I'm doing.

I had an appointment today with Dr. Baker to discuss sclerotherapy.  The nurse is supposed to call me back to schedule my upcoming appointments.  Also he suggested I try ferrous gluconate or ferrous fumerate instead of the ferrous sulfate so that my stomach  doesn't get so upset.  I'll have to try that out soon.

I weighed in at 180 and 6 months ago I weighed 169.  Of course he recommended that I get 30 minutes of daily exercise, all my water & protein and no drinking with meals.  I'm pretty sure I get in my protein, most of my water, and I don't drink with meals but I haven't been exercising.  

I had decided to stop taking the iron while on spring break because of my stomach getting so upset but now I'm so drained of energy that I'm thinking that wasn't a good plan.  Hopefully some of the new iron will be easier on my stomach and give me some energy. 

Thu Apr 26 - I went to my behaviorist appointment and my exercise appointment at MMPC.  Both went very well.  Scott Glass was very kind and helpful as was Andy the exercise guy.  Andy stressed the importance of including weight training with aerobic activity and to try and get my heart rate up for atleast 20 min a day.  I should be getting a call soon to schedule my sclero appointment.  Scott said that he hoped I understood sclero (for me personally) may help me lose only 5-10 lbs but if I can get back to the basics then more weight will soon follow.