northern_mama

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April 14, 2005: I weigh 180 and am wearing size 14 now. I have gotten rid of sooo many clothes that it is unbelievable. I just returned from a trip to St. Louis to visit family & friends. It was nice to not be so self-conscious about my weight. I actually felt good about the way I looked. Unfortunately I got sick and am still recovering from it.

March 6, 2005: Wow! Today I weighed in and am at 190. That means my BMI is now considered "overweight". Oh My Goodness! I can't believe it. I just bought a pair of pants that were a size 14. My 16s still fit but still. How could so much have happened so quickly? I am so blessed to have had this surgery.

February 1, 2005: My husband bought me a treadmill last night. I really like it. It has programs on it. I used it this morning for 24 minutes and stayed in the target heart rate zone. It felt good. I wasn't using the tapes my sister got me on a regular basis so this is good for me.

Jan 1, 2005: I have officially lost 50 lbs now. Last night I also had my first dumping experience. I incorrectly thought that I could handle sugar. So I tried to eat a single serving of custard. I got about 3/4 of the way through when I didn't feel right. About 5 minutes later I got hot, my heart started racing, and I was very nasious. It eventually passed but I was soooooooo relieved to know that I do dump and that I can't eat those foods. One day I'll have to just not eat those foods but for now I'm glad that I can't.

I had been wearing a size 22/24 and am now wearing 16/18. It feels so very, very good. I gave my mom all my old clothes. It looks wonderful to see my closet with hardly anything in there. I feel hopeful. :)

Dec 01, 2004: Things have been going better. It's easier on me during the week when my hubby is at work. I tend to eat more on schedule which also has me snacking much less. I think I was having a hard time during Thanksgiving because of all the extra food, the long weekend, and the stress of my moms health. My mom is fine now and I'm doing good too. I lost 2 more lbs. :)

Dec 14, 2004: Wow! I am down 40 lbs now! Paul and I went to his annual winter party at work and the waitress came over during dinner to ask if everything was OK because there was so much food on my plate. :) That felt so good because I was actually done. I had 2 bites of chicken, 2 bites of beef, 4 bites of the potatoes. I was able to wear a dress I hadn't worn in 5 years. It was a wonderful evening. Paul said I looked beautiful. He definitely looked handsome. Today I got my Christmas present from my sister "Walk away the pounds". I did the 1 mile tape and I LOVED it. It only took 18 minutes.

 

Nov 8, 2004: I'm over 2 weeks out now. I have had yogurt, pudding, and Wendy's Chili (blended up). I even had mashed potatoes. I've also tried crackers with Peanut butter. Everything has gone down OK. Still struggling to get all my water in. Having a bit of trouble with depression but I think that has to do more with me staying home all the time with 2 toddlers than anything else.

Nov 28, 2004: Geez I'm having problems eating lately. I have been eating/snacking too much. Having all that Thanksgiving food around is hard. It's finally all gone now. Thank goodness. I haven't been journaling very good, still need to work on my water, and haven't been exercising. Feeling like there is no help for me. Not if I don't start acting like I've had the surgery. Of course at 5 weeks out my portions are small but I'm not getting enough protein in compared to carbs. For example I have a tiny piece of turkey but 2 TB each of mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, stuffing, and a roll with butter. I hate writing it down it makes me feel so stupid. I need to be working on NEW habits like eating more protein and less of anything else and exercising and drinking more water. ahhhhh. I can't believe this is the "honeymoon" period. Some days are better than others. The past 2 have been so hard but maybe that was from Thanksgiving and my mom going into the hospital. She just got out today. I'm turning 30 on Tuesday. Just got to get it together.

Oct 8, 2004: I saw the nutritionist, followed by the physician assistant, and then went to my first support group meeting. I really enjoyed this trip to MMPC because I met quite a few people who had great success and no complications. It was very encouraging. I was given my food that I will be eating for the next 2 weeks. The physician assistant told me that Dr. Baker is the best surgeon in the whole state of Michigan so that really put me at ease. It sounded like my biggest risks are a leak or a stricture and they can fix both. I'm still praying and trusting God to lead me through this.

Oct 14,2004: good day, bad day, good day, bad day. Geez. This 2 week pre-op diet is killing me. I was doing OK until my mom brought her scale over yesterday and I hadn't lost a pound and it's been a whole week on an 800 calorie a day diet. I want to scream. I want to eat while I can but tomorrow is my checkup appt at MMPC so I don't want to cheat today and have it show up on the scale tomorrow. It's just so frustrating. How is it possible for a 260 lb woman who went from eating probably like 4000 calories a day to 800 and NOT lose weight. It should be pouring off of me. Sometimes I thing their high protein food is Ok and today I think it is crap and I don't want it. I guess today is just a bad day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. (funny how I never journal on a good day, huh?) :)

Oct 15, 2004: Well I went to MMPC today for my checkup (1 week prior to surgery) and I have lost 8.6 lbs! I'm so excited. My moms scale must be wrong! I feel so good. I think I can make it another week now!

Oct 24, 2004: Wow! I'm home from surgery as of yesterday. You know I had both my kids natural (no pain meds) so I thought I was pretty tough. No - I'm not. When I got out of surgery I was in quite a bit of pain which did subside. I thought Yeah I'm doing great - I had done 2 walks as of 3 am the following morning and the nurses congratulated me on doing so well. Then a couple hours later I was nauseous and could harldly walk or talk. The gave me more pain meds and something for the nausea. Then I could talk again and was feeling much better but they made me do 5 more walks which were so difficult because of the pain in my stomach. I would use both hands to hold my stomach because my doc said I couldn't have a binder. I'm doing much better now that I'm at home. Trying to stay away from the scale until it has been a week or so. Thanks to EVERYONE at OH for their encouragement and prayers and just generosity. This site & people amaze me.Oct 29, 2004: Well it has been 1 week now. I have been doing pretty good for about 3 days now. I'm no longer on any pain meds and almost all the pain is gone in my tummy. I have lost 10 lbs (plus 10 pre-op) so 20 altogether. I have head hunger and am TRULY sick of the protein shakes. 1 more week of shakes. I feel like I can't wait to eat something real like yogurt of pureed soup. :)

Sep 2, 2004: I just found out that I have been approved for surgery. I'm so excited. I can't believe it. They are supposed to call me next week to schedule my pre-op stuff. :)

Sep 8, 2004: went to MMPC and got tested for h-pylore.

Sep 28, 2004: Just found out I have a date! Oct. 22, 2004. I can't believe it. I'm excited, and scared, relieved, and nervous. My heart leaped when she told me I had a date. I was starting to feel like I'd never get a date. :) I'm not all that patient I guess.

Sep 29, 2004: I have changed my mind about this surgery so many times now. It seems I keep hearing of people passing away or having terrible complications. I would never get this surgery if I knew something bad would happen. I keep praying for God to just totally clearly show me what he wants me to do. I need more than a little sign. I need something as clear as the sun in the sky. I'm nervous. My husband is nervous. My sister is the only one who is confident that everything is going to be OK. That always makes me feel so much better. Thank God for her. I just wish I knew for sure that this was the right choice. I went to my PCP today because I have a cold and so they had to weigh me in. 257. The last time I got on the scale it said 245. How could I have gained 12 lbs in just a few months? It makes me feel like I'm just totally out of control.

Sep 30, 2004: Well today is a new day and I'm much more confident that this surgery is the right choice. I went to the chiropractor today to get adjusted and told him about my upcoming surgery. He used to teach human anatomy and disection. Gross! But he told me gastric bypass is relatively a simple surgery. That put me at ease. I think I put too much stock in what other people think. Thank God that I don't have alot of people opposing my decision. Nevermind that I haven't told the in-laws yet. :) I just can't believe that I started out on this journey in the spring and felt like I waited and waited and now my surgery is only 3 weeks away. Am I ready? Is my family ready? Will I be able to take care of my 2 little toddlers? I hope so. I will have my mom here to help me.

BCBS is waiting for info from MMPC. Called MMPC to see if I can get things going. I had been calling BCBS weekly for an update and they kept saying "it's in review". This was the first time they actually gave me more info and let me know they had been waiting since June 11 for more information.

All my paperwork was faxed to BCBS of delaware