537.1

May 09, 2011

It is officially a week since I had the surgery done and I have mixed emotions about doing it.  I'm happy I will be losing weight and hopefully will have the courage to do things that I hadn't done before the surgery.  I'm disappointed that it had to reach this point.  All the doctors and friends in the world can say this isn't any sort of failure or defeat, I can't help to think that it is.  I have gone on diets before and lost weight but the problem was I was never consistent enough to stick with it for an extended period (i.e. years instead of months) of time.  Certainly, with having a complete gastric bypass, whether I want to or not, I am going to be on a diet for the rest of my life and that is good.  We should all be self-aware of what we put in our bodies because it affects us mind, body, and soul.  Some are able to do it naturally, while those like me, needed a bit of surgical intervention to make it happen. 

I'm happy I'm about to undergo a transformation that will improve my quality of life but I would be lying to you if I said my mindset has changed 180 degrees.  If I knew I could eat a slice of pizza right now, I would!  I wouldn't just eat once slice, I would have two or three.  What is stopping me though?  Nausea and vomiting!  While I might still crave some of my favorite foods, the pain and sickness that will follow it trumps it my a significant margin.

Still, the craving is still there but it has only been one week.  They say Rome wasn't built in a day, and the new me certainly won't be completed in a week.  This is a beginning of a long journey and I'm excited to get it started.  I do hope somewhere down the line, I could enjoy that slice of pizza :).

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