Again

Jul 26, 2009

So the drama continues. I had pain Friday at work and was taking my pain meds, thought I was going to pass out from it and couldnt afford to miss more work, PLUS we were short and didnt want to leave them. Good until Saturday around 8pm then started hurting ALOT. By 1am I was 10 in pain. Friends took me to ER, was there from 1am to 6am. Finally got some pain meds, I was dry heaving from the pain. Did a CT scan and it turns out I had a kidney stone that passed. Still in my bladder but "shouldnt" be anymore pain. God, will it ever stop? I just picked up my son yesterday and had the weekend planned out of going and doing things as I just started to get my energy back. Nope. I was out of it all weekend. I feel like a horrible mother. He is going to go stay with his grandma until Friday night and I PRAY I will be re-couped by then. I just want all of this to be over with. I still cry to God that maybe I made the wrong choice. I should have just left well enough alone. Feel like I am being punished now. Yes its a pitty party. I cant help it. Besides all that, the scale isnt moving although clothes are fitting looser. But whenever I eat I get nauseatious? Cant spell tonight. It seems I take a few bites and ugh feeling comes over again. Honestly I just want to stop eating.

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