OntarioSilk
New life is what I aim for....
Jan 07, 2013
I was operated on Feb 2010 and it was really easy to loose the weight. Now it is Jan 2013 that I am able to eat everything again I am finding it more difficult to say no. I have gained a few Lbs from my lowest. The doctors had wanted me to go from 326 LBS down to 178 LBS. Well that did not happen. The lowest that I was able to achieve was 198 LBS. However having said that I was dehydrated most of the time. My Doctor here in Canada said not to worry as the suggested weight is just that SUGGESTED. When I went to see the surgeon this past Aug. I was 213 and they were really happy.The thing was that I told them that I had gotten down lower but they said not to stress. But certainly not to cut out fluids to achieve weight loss. So now that the Christmas and New year holiday baking and taste testing is over I get on the scale and am shocked that I am as of today 227 LBS. YIKES!!! I was shocked that in approximately 2 months that I had put on an additional 14 lbs!!!! That was SHOCKING TO SAY THE LEAST. The weight popped back so fast.
I started to do the first steps of the bariatric diet of the liquids for 3 days.. I thought that might shrink the liver fat and give me a kick start. Well honestly... I was able to do it all day but when 3pm showed up I was starving... So I ate light. I was mad at myself for not having the will power to do the liquids for 3 days but then I thought about it again from another angle... Liquids and then a light meal is GREAT ! I cut down my food intake and calories as well so I did succeed but in a different way. So now I need to get back to monitoring my food again. It is not easy when I am the one having to prepare the meals for the household. and watch them eat. It is not like I can avoid it. It is part of my reality.
I need to do this for me. The weight gain feels heavy for me. I feel sluggish and tired.And my clothing feels tight and my bras are snug. I hate the feeling. SOooo going to try again.....
This is not easy. I always said that I would not be one of those people that get to have the RNY and then loose the weight then regain it later...
This is hard to write as I was feeling defeated but now that I have exposed myself so to speak.. I feel empowered. Now My new journey begins one meal at the time one mouthful at a time.one step at a time one pound at the time.....
I wish that my parents were supportive of me as a person and that my husband would stop telling me that I look wonderful when I don't. I need truth not band aids!
I have spoken to him about this and he said that he will try to tell me the truth and be there for me like he was in the beginning. I certainly would appreciate that for sure.
Here is to the new me and good luck to myself to overcome this.
