ozlady1000
Dropping out of Sight but not really!
Mar 04, 2008
Hi Everyone;
Sometimes we have just got to go into that dark corner to find out just where we are, where we have came from; and where we are going! I dropped off the boards for a while. I became discouraged and self critical. I have not lost in over 3 months; but neither have I gained either. So today is my birthday I consider this a gift I gave to myself about a year ago. Looking back I can see just how far I have came. Last year on my birthday I was just beginning to recover from my RNY; this year I am 96 lbs lighter! I can dance with joy and appreciation for where I have came from! I am going to give myself another gift by renewing my commitment to getting back on track; and continuing to strive for the best of my health, my life; and my family. This past year has been a gift of renewal.. So never give up even if you have to sometimes look back to appreciate the present! I will make a big WISH to be even healthier but next years birthday! Hugs & friendship to all, Judy R
I still have a long way to go..
Big Expectations!
Oct 22, 2007
I have had many expectations about my weight loss surgery; but learning to deal with them has proven to be a challenge in the best of times. I haven't always been looking at this realistically. I was so up when it was all easy and so in a good way down hill..LOL!
But in the last 3 months it has been more difficult for me to find the peace with letting my own body take the lead at it's own pace. I have been on a plateau for about three months now! Still I need to realize that I have taken off 96 lbs; and my health has so improved from one year ago. And it's not even been a whole year yet since my surgery; I still have almost 4 months before that!
Patients has never been a big vertue with me! LOL.
I have had a few minor complications: ulcer, strictures, infections; so really I should remember all my body has had to go through!
Today I had an EDG (scope), DR said no more ulcer, no strictures; and best yet I had not stretched my pouch out and the connection was good! He also said my body is still adjusting to the new pouch; and my body is still adjusting to all of this!
He also said I am not getting enough calories, or protein; imagine that.. ROTFLO
So there is still hope that I will be breaking this plateau soon; and all is still going toward my goal of 150. I was 289 at my highest, I am now 193. I am no longer morbidly obese; just obese. I must be greatful for this chance, for my new found health and life.. Giving up is not an option.. I am running a marathon for life not a short race. Here's to hope, a better future everyday; and knowing we can make it! Hugs, Judy R
LEARNING SOME HARD LESSONS!
Sep 09, 2007
Well a lot lessons learned over this summer; and lots of challenges yet to meet! My concerns and challenges are: getting back to basic with my eating habits, ( get out of snacking mode), get in my protein and water as I should, take my vitamins faithfully and make it a permanent habit; and back to more and better exercising. I certainly have made a lot of lifestyle changes, (and I am proud of them & myself); but making changes can be a whole lot easier than staying with them if you know what I mean?!
I am very fearful of failure at this point; and I pray that I never go back there. I never want to return to ill health, being miserable; and plain not having a good quailty of life!! I have an addiction to food; and I am struggling with it daily! I know why I have this addiction that is the easy part; but the difficult part is figuring out how to conquer it! After all if I could quit it cold turkey LOL; that would be the easiest way for me! I have been sucessful in many ways already; and I just don't want to turn around and let my past failures find and hold me!
I told my DH, that I want to stay healthy; and have a good retirement together. After all we don't want to put all our hard earned savings into the Dr's next new home, or car.. Health care as we age is a major expence; and it looks to be as if it will get worse! I would rather take a nice trip somewhere for my memory books; than to spend it on health care! As we age reality really sets in about all this. I want my upcoming 50th birthday to be the beginning of my best of years and not the worst of my years. Wisdom, knowlegde; and commitment are what I need to take this battle, and healthy lifestyle all the way! I will take it there with a little help and support from my family and friends. Judy R
My Summer of Changes!
Aug 30, 2007
Well this summer has been a wild ride! I have had a lot more energy; except for the sudden problem with vitamin B deficenies! I got that under control and feel I am on my way back now! I have done more with this summer than I have in many years past.. My family is glad to have the new me in more ways than one.
I have heard more people call me skinny this summer even though I do not feel I am skinny at all. I don't know weather I ever will? I still have a very difficult time picturing myself thinner; I know it's a mind thing!
I am very greatful for this chance with my WLS. I am still stuck in slow motion WL wise now. I hit stall's all the time. I was hoping I could correct that problem by getting my vitamin deficenies under control. It has been said lack of vitamin B-1 will dramtically slow WL; still I am not giving myself that as an excuse! I have been guilty of not exercising enough lately (sooooo tired).
I am now 7 months post op with a weight loss of 92 lbs total. Surgical loss is: 65 lbs.; 27 pounds before surgery since Dec 06! I know it is a huge accomplishment, and yet I wish it were much more. I have set the final goal of 150; but I may revise that. I have went from the size 24 to the size 14-16. I want to be in a 8 or 10 at the highest. I am hoping to get a tummy tuck someday too. Lots of sagging skin! ugg
This is my heartfelt journey, and story. Losing the weight is only half the battle; and I need to progress to win the war! I pray that I make it to my goal. I have made my goal of better health already! Let's go. Judy
Vacation to a ONELANDER
Jul 30, 2007
Well I had a nice vacation. Went tubbing 3 times with family and friends. Took a break in the cabin from the rat race; no computer or scales. ROTFLO! I was so fearful of getting on the scales after getting back home; but I did and lost not gained! I am now offically a ONELANDER (199.5); haven't seen this in years! I am now a size 14-16; from the size of 24 in Dec 06. I have been a very slow loser with lots of plateau's; I get so frustrated when I see other's zooming along with little effort.
Nothing has ever came easy for me; and I am always willing to work for it. Working for it means YOU'VE earned it!! I am now 49.5 lbs away from my goal of 150! Who knows I may go lower yet. I would like to be no bigger than a size 10. In my heart I am already a ten; in every way! LOL..
The things I have gave up without much regret are cola, sugar, and junkfood.. On occasion I still want things so I have learned to make better choices, and healthier substitions.. Lo carb, fat free, and sugar free aren't as bad of words as they once were. This is not a diet; it is a completed healthier lifestyle. I will complete the transition with my heart, soul, mind; and body!!
What Strange thoughts I have
Jul 06, 2007
I haven't quite figured out how to act about other's thoughts, feeling; and comments. I was way used to the old invisible me! I have lost a total of 82 lbs now; and I know that is a lot. Yet I fail time and time again to see the true scope of it. However I do feel it tremendously! I am doing things now that a year ago would have been totally impossible for me.
My hubby is quite content with where I am now, and he really does not seem to mind if I go any further. On the other hand sometimes he is threatened that others are paying more attention to me now. I don't know how to totally reasurre him but I try my best.
I am a having problems dealing with all these feelings; and conflicts that have came up. Sometimes I want to look my best in fear of judgement from others; but at the same time I want to scream. Go figure! I am still a very slow loser no matter how hard I try. On the 4th of July I did 50 minutes on my treadmill, and 30 mintes on my exercise bike. I felt good about it; but I never feel as if it is enough! And the slower I see the scales move the worse this feeling becomes. I often wonder if I am the only WLS patient with all these confusing feelings? I pray that I can reach my goal without to much of a constant struggle. I pray for strength, wisdom; and strong persiverance! I also wish anyone else the same.. Hugs, Judy
INCHES!
Jun 22, 2007
Not a magic wand!
I have been getting so upset with those people who ask me how I am losing my weight. I am not ashamed; but I have heard far to many comments about WLS being the easy way out! I am here to say it is anything but the easy way out! First of all we are totally risking our lives; and changing them forever. It was not a decision that any of us made lightly. I have no reason to tell unsupportive or judgemental people! They have no clue! WLS has not been a magic wand but it has been a tool that is helping me to save my life! I have completely changed my ways of eating, of seeing life; and very importantly I exercise.. We have to exercise! We can not just sit back and watch those pounds just fall off as our critics think! I get sooooo upset with people.. And what we go through to get to this point is unreachable by most of the critics; they just don't have a clue or what it may take to get here. I am happy that I have done this; but at the same time I am frustrated with all the crap afterwards. I never thought about the other ways my life would be dramatically changing! We need to heal and rebuild the outside as well as the inside at the same time.
So we need to be up to the whole task at hand! Just me thoughts, feelings; and experiances. Judy
Gave away the old comfort clothes
Jun 05, 2007
Well it took some pushing from my friend, but I finally let go of my fat clothes! I don't know why it was such a big deal to me; or why I felt it was giving up some security. I guess a part of me still has the what if complex! I know I never want to go backwards; and I have changed my whole attitude about food. So my friend said what are you waiting for? Now there is no turning back; I will not by larger sizes ever again! I love the new clothes, the feeling healthier than I have felt in years; and the getting rid of a lot of the medications! I have a great life now. I am doing things with my hubby, children; and grandchildren. I am riding a bike, walking, doing the treadmill, exercise bike; and more. Life is not life if you don't get to participate for various reasons; (real or percieved)! So I guess I will just count on my new attitude; and my friends to help me survive! Best wishes to everyone else as well.. Judy R 
New Bathing Suit Summer!
May 29, 2007
Yesterday went shopping for a new bathing suit. That is the dreaded summer right of passage. LOL! To my suprise I had went from a size 22 last year, to a size 16 this year.. Wooo hooo! I still don't like my certain body parts in a bathing suit; but I am sure that will remain the same for a long time.. But this is signifigant for me; I have not worn a size 16 in many years! Every bridge I cross is a milestone for me now. One bridge at a time; come on everyone I say lets cross them together! I did not get her alone, nor do I go there alone. Hugs, Judy
