Tracy C.
Ok so I have always been a big girl but I have kinda been ok with that.. I have had my share of boyfriends in the past and have had lots of fun and did lots of exciting things even though I was a bit heavy. Heck, I even modeled for a store called 16+ in the 90's. I met a wonderful man in 2005 and he is a fitness buff but fortunately for me he likes girls with meet on their bones:) Anyway, I see his will power and determination and I get really jealous. I have friends who have had surgery and they look so much better and feel better and I am jealous. I know I am not supposed to be envious of others but it is really hard not to be. Especially, when I feel so unhealthy and Ugly right now. I have always been a helper and done anything and everything I can to help others. I recently had my mother and father in law and my neice living with us (my hubby, me and two kids) all under the same rough. My mother in law had stage 3 breast cancer and I live across the street from a great cancer center. I got her to move in with us(techinicaly newlyweds at the time)to let me help her with her battle and help her raise my neice while she was sick(well not raise but be there for)they ended up staying with us for almost a year and I am glad to say that my mother in law is cancer free(Thank God)and on the road to recovery, and during her battle with cancer she lost her daughter(my sister in law and neices mom)at the young age of 30. So I did all I could to help everyone deal with that the best I could as those kinds of things come natural to me. Yet I cannot seem to help myself. Why is that? It just sucks. Now I have insuance with my husbands job and of course they tell me that nothing would be covered, in fact I am surprised they pay for my cpap machine. And I wish there was a way to make that work for me but insurance insists NO. But they would pay for me to have a heart attach or stroke or something of that nature but nothing for preventative......It just sucks....Please feel free to let me know your experience and any and all advise you might have for someone like me. I want to save my life and my sanity and get back to having a wonderful full life with my gorgeous husband and kids......THanks for listening....Tracy
