paula2

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

May 10, 2010

Hello , hello everyone how are ya.. i am doing fine been working out. have missed several months of the gym why? because. well economy. my gym bill got out of hand but i am paying it off i miss working out. yes i gained 7 pounds back yuck!!.. triggers started happening for me. i allowed myself to get consumed with some personal issues. now ia m getting back on track. i been at a plateau.  got angry about that. of course. but been keeping busy. which is mandatory for me. drinking my protein shakes again. my health is fine thank god. i am on one insulin a day 30 units. hurray!!.. i am about to become a grandma. yes well i will know soon. my son is getting married.  my baby all grown up. you will see him in my albums.  he still drives me crazy.  i can;t wait until he becomes a parent. i am in a size 20 to 18 jeans.. yeah .. go figure. i kept looking at myself in the mirror.  jeans. hey listen i have not worn jeans since high school. seriously .. to fat and too hot. but now. hmmmm. i love them. since i had my tummy tuck. showing off. i deserve to show off. hell. this is hard work..lol. i need a but though. my butt is nice but it could be better...lol.  so anywho. i am not ashamed of me going in the water not ready for beach action yet.. since jaws i have post tramatic jaws disorder... have not been right since.  but that is just moi.  well i hope everyone is doing well if you fall off the wagon get right back on. i vowed to myself with god's grace i am not going back to 408 pounds.  i have to keep that in mind to keep me motivated. tootles.

Jan 06, 2009

Yes i have lost a total of 150 I wore my first size 18 jeans a little snug but guess what.. it encourage me more to stay on the right path. yes i have snuck a few cookies here and there but . i have programed myself not to buy the wrong things in the market. i have recieved so many compliments i still see myself as the same woman somewhat. i just had my tummy tuck in dec"08 i still wake up hoping it's a nightmare. i tell you. the excess skin i cannot believe. the Dr. has removed 91/2 pounds of fat. it was painful but worth it. i feel light. i can bend better you know  i look forward to working out again. i had to take a hiatus on the work out but i still get out and move walk in the mall . yes going to the mall and looking at stuff you never thought you could wear again.  have a flat tummy at that you cannot help but gloat. the important thing is that my diabetes is now under control i am doing 20 units aday compare to 20 in the morning and 30 at night plus actos. i was on metformin but it gave me the runs.. you know what i am talking about for those whom has used this drug. but the thing is i went out dancing New Years Eve. and I was partying with the Baltimore Ravens. hey!.... lol . and i was wearing an outfit i bought 3 yrs ago from california.  It fit like a glove. and it was sexy. i looked in the mirror and said to myself."dammit i look Good. it just came out and i meant it and felt it. i miss you all. for the support. but i have not disappeared i just thank god. and yes i am dating again. He's a very nice man. but all in all .. you still have to work on self regardless of the weight. you know i was watching oprah she said its not what your eating its whats eating you. for the first time i could relate. if your gaining it back something is unblanced in your life. and believe me i can relate... wholeheartdly . until next time.
one love,
Paula

Update

Nov 10, 2007

STILL THRIVING...

Sep 19, 2007

exercise week..

Jul 09, 2007

okay well today was my first day to exercise. yup!. i walk today .   wedsday i start on streches to get flexiable and the bike. or the treadmill as long as I am moving.   it was  hot as heck today close to the equator and let me tell you . you could not suck up any air if you wanted too. well i been eating fruit . cantalope . honey dew watermelon. i add sugar free coolwhip , on top. give it a little pazazz. Plenty of fluids i fell in love with this white tea . its refreshing. i have  lost 1 pound I believe its a little over.   i will know scales are different. but this one read the same as the one i weighed in at last week. I feel i am at a stand still.  I know for a fact once i start with exercise it will fall off. I have not walked with a cane since i lost the 58 pounds. hooray! what a difference it makes just that little weight how you feel. When i had my WLS i was beside myself I was so damn happy. my stomach is getting flat . another man . ( not that I value the opinion of men) hey !!  who am i kidding! I want them to look. one friend of mine he said i see your slimming down. he said come here slim! he's such a comic. He made my day.he stated wheres that cane. i said well i put it away. because its mind over matter. Can't is not in my vocabulary. you know with the madness of the health insurance companies. and people's health we stay stuck in a mold. I want to break this cycle. I have too. why? well i look at it like this some of us can't help but get ill. and we do the best we can. according to some doctors years ago. i was not suppose to be here. being a cancer survivor as well. I said that is what you think. That really was the biggest wake up call. Besides being obese. I used to hate that word. Obese. it look like it sound . doesn't it.  round  sound. but hey. thank goodness I was obese because I would not know how to change that facet in my life. I remember the Iman at the mosque told me. In order to change.., things have to happen to us . make since. I used to read the dali lama as well. Its the way you think and how you see things that hold us back. no this weight change is not a easy task. If your looking for one watch out. I was humming this song "Pick myself up ,Dust myself off and start all over again".


 well until next time... tootles

Here it comes!

Jul 02, 2007

Okay here it comes. I am feeling fine. my appetite has come back thank god. but i hope i do not go back to my old eating habits right now I am sitting here hot as all outdoors. i need to shower. that will cool me off. i love water. a hot bath always make you feel better, since i am able to keep food down . that part is scary . you know be able to eat things again.  but i have been vigilant in sticking to my plan so far i lost 3 pounds in the past several weeks. i start the gym yippie kiyeah ! as bruce willis puts it.. Honestly i dont feel like it face thats what got me here in the first place. I know me once i get started i will be alright. you know its the out of breath thing i can't take. you go in and say i will do 20 minutes then you out of breath before the treadmill begins thats sad. I can remember when I had a trainer before i stuck with it . and did great. but years has passed things change. i dont want to whine. or am I? or well... my son will be home for a wedding this weekend . i know him he said mom we are going walking when i come home. i said oh god. he we go. but i love to see my son. let me know hes doing fine . when you cant see your off spring. when they live in another state. you wonder you know... hey are you eating well. hows your health  yada yada yada..you get the jist.  i have to clean this mansion of mine ...lol my maid have been off for a week... thats me. i wish i want merrymaid over here one day and do a grand sweep. you know what i mean . I used to be so well organize.  I still am but. i think when you get older sometimes you say f----k it!! let the dog clean the house. just kidding i am meticulous about my surroundings i cant stand junk. lord knows speaking of junk. or well nevermind.  tootles

Sleepless Nights

Jun 24, 2007

I have been having sleepless nights somehow my sleep pattern is off. Anywho....its not 3:55 am in the morning Monday! i lost another 2 pounds. hooray.! I am still trying to eat 4 meals a day but i am not hungry. I know its because i have a little more energy also , thats why i cannot sleep as well. or it could be anxiety. I am no Dr. Phil. exercise now i have to exercise. okay here we go one, and two. bend streeeeectch. bend. boy iam out of breath already. i am just psychologically preparing myself again for it. thats the only way the weight will fall off. i know this been there done that before the surgery. and its true. but I have to face it. I can get lazy. but i swear , i do not want to fall into that mode. i have to stay focused about this. I have to. i know i will be alright. okay here we go . one and two and side to side. lift that leg!   .tootles.

Happy fathers Day.

Jun 17, 2007

I have to say Happy Fathers Day to all the daddies, I was sitting here thinking about my father god rest his soul. He was a tall and dark handsome man. He was a very well educated man. He also was a WW2 veteran. i remember when he used to take me to Aberdeen Proving Ground in Maryland when i was a little girl. i used to roll down the window and look at the big sherman tanks, boy they scared me. they was huge!. You know thats where I learned my art skills; from my daddy. I used watch him match colors. do blue prints. draw out designs of buildings. and paint portraits. 

Those was good old days you know. we ,may not have always seen eye to eye. but he was my daddy.  yes i did inherit the fat gene from his side of the family. lol. you know you back then he would give me 50 cents a week for allowences can you believe that, but it bought a lot of candy.lol. my father one day gave me ten dollars thats when i bought my first Jackson 5 album, i could have jumped out of my skin. You know being the youngest female of my family. Yeah i was a tad bit spoiled. why not kids are made to be spoiled to a point.

Regardless of our differences he still was my daddy. thank god he was in my life. it makes a difference. I could not have wished for better parents. Dad i still remember you in my heart. When fathers day roll around. i still say: Happy Fathers Day. I love you.

Your Loving Daughter'
Paula2

Doing fine,

Jun 11, 2007

Hey guess what i lost another 3 pounds this week  it is now 6/11/07. you know last week i was thristy as heck . beverages are staying in my system better. still have to get used to the protein thingy. not my favorite i admit. i been taking it easy. its been hotter than july so me and the heat does not mix well. but. i still have to get out in it. I have managed to keep fish in my stomach and salad. i was somewhat shocked. i have to eat 4 times a day. weather i feel hungry or not. it was suggested i do such. yes the vitamins trail. on the vitamins. yes that has to be done. its a must. well you know a nurse whom i saw a couple of weeks ago said . you seem much happier. i said, really? she said yeah i guess i struggled for a least 3 yrs to get this surgery. it was a monkey off my back. whew . but i made it. i never gave up the fight. never. this is the hardest thing i have to do. i still of course am not out of the woods because. i still have to work on emotional avenues. some things are going to be there regardless of the weight loss. just deal with it. I say. well i have to run tootles.