Pat G.
For many years I was actually underweight by about 20 lbs. But I quit smoking at the same time I turned 30, and the pounds started piling on. I was usually successful at losing weight, especially on the Atkins plan. But as soon as I got off the diet, the pounds came back with a few of their friends. Eventually, I quit trying to lose weight because I knew I'd gain back what I lost and then some.
Making the decision to have gastric bypass surgery took me about two years. It just seemed ridiculous to me to make that drastic, permanent change to my body when I should just be able to have the willpower to do it myself. I was finally able to make the decision in early 2009 when two things happened that made me come face-to-face with how my weight limited my life:
I am participating in a leadership program in my community. One of our sessions was at a ropes challenge course. The purpose is to face and overcome the challenges the course presents. I was so disappointed when I realized I was physically challenged long before I was mentally challenged. My weight and lack of mobility prevented me from reaching a point of real mental challenge.
The second realization came a few weeks later. I am an avid gardener and spend most of my spare time working in my yard - building new flower beds, planting, weeding, etc. I did not have the energy or the motivation to work outdoors because it was so difficult getting up and down off the ground to do the things I normally do in the yard.
I think that's when it hit me that my weight was keeping me from really being able to live my life, and the decision to have surgery quickly followed. As of this writing, I'm three weeks post-op and can already tell a big difference in the size of my body. I'm looking forward to participating in all kinds of activities that I couldn't do before.
In the beginning, deciding to have surgery felt a little like failure. I really believed this was something I should have been strong enough to overcome. But even if it is failure, so what? So I'm not good at losing weight. I'm not good at shooting pool, either, and I'm not feeling guilty about that. There are plenty of other things that I AM good at, and now that the excess weight is coming off, I'll get even better at some of those things. I'm really looking forward to living my life to its fullest!
