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For our returning warriors - Breathes there the man, with soul so dead, Who never to himself hath said, This is my own, my native land! Whose heart hath ne'er within him burn'd, As home his footsteps he hat...

Before WLS --- - His body was rather convex.He had problems procuring good sex.His consid'rable girthMade him subject to mirth —His friends called him "Adipose Rex."

Star Wars revisited ----- - Young Skywalker's caught in a pother Of feelings that fluster and bother. He's stunned for a while (Anagnorisis-style) When Darth Vader says, "Luke, I'm your father."

Ode to the R&R gal ---- - She stood upon the burning deck, The wind blew back her nightie, The moon shone down on her bare ass, JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY!

Don't forget ----- - If you don't pay your exorcism bill, you WILL get repossessed!

Good old Poe --- - There once was a raven (called Quoth)Whose croak was no more than an oath.He rasped, "Nevermore",As he tapped at the door.Was he crude? Was he rude? He was both.

Karma - If you'll stop by, I have a list of folks you've overlooked!

Your opinion??? - Halloween is approaching; it's clearishI plan to appear buccaneerish,I'll wear red pantaloonsAnd round earrings, like moons—Do you think, at my age, I'd look queerish?

Ode to the R&R girls --- - I adore you, above and beyond All those others of whom I am fond, (Except that brunette Whose first name I forget, And that luscious young platinum blonde).

Religion for the R&R weinie --- - The Decalogue, given to Moses By Jehovah, was no bed of roses. It made moral demands, And today it still stands, Though it's often ignored, one supposes.

Sex down under --- WARNING: Adult Content! - A randy marsupial named Reeves, Went down on the whores tween their knees, But when they'd ask for money, He'd say "Listen Honey, A koala eats bushes and leaves."

Mary Poppins time??? - Mahatma Gandhi always walked barefoot and ultimately the soles of his feet became thick and very hard. He also was, of course, known to be a man of deep spiritual conviction. He...

Job hunting? - Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinis alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes! If you can read this sign, you can get a good job in the fast-paced, high-paying wo...

Absconde obesito illegitimo - Or, as Buddy Hackett would say, "Get outa here you fat bastard."

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et ce - Translation: When you have them by the balls, the heart and mind will follow.

Clean mind, Clean body --- - Take your pick!

This forums motto should be ... - Cry havoc, and unleash the dogs of war!

Religion for Dummies! - The Decalogue, given to Moses By Jehovah, was no bed of roses. It made moral demands, And today it still stands, Though it's often ignored, one supposes.

So, how did you celebrate - - Being STD free for six months?

It should be noted ---- - Skinny girls turn men off like a shot,While the curvy ones teach them a lotAbout hips, bust and waist—When the ratio's lacedInto clothing that's skimpy and hot!

English lesson! - I'm delighted to say that I've mastered The appropriate usage of bastard: It's a person who's bred By a pair who weren't wed, But were too much in love—or too plastered!

Feeling haunted? - We caught the tread of dancing feet, We loitered down the moonlit street, And stopped beneath the harlot's house. Inside, above the din and fray, We heard the loud musicians ...

Our motto here at camp ObesityHelp--- - Clean mind, clean body--- Take your pick!

Sound familiar? - Said an overweight man from St. Kitts,"Buying clothes off the rack is the pits!Every coat is too tightAnd no trousers hang right.I can never find clothing that fits!"

Need motivation? - The abdomen often protrudesFrom eating high-calorie foods.Obesity's here;It's everyone's fear.More exercise, dieting, dudes!