poohisme2

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Today is 8 weeks since my surgery. I am down 38 lbs. My wound has finally healed to the point there is no more drainage and 2 days ago was the last time I saw my visiting nurse. I have to say, they were great!

I saw my surgeon last week and I don't need to go back for three months. I still have some pain where the wound was, but I guess it's all still healing. Had my labs done by my PCP I have a vitamin d deficiency and low iron. He has me on Drisdol once a week for 6 weeks and then he will re-check the levels.

Well I went to my PCP yesterday and he is sending me for another DVT scan of my leg, as the pain has been there for a month. He also took 4 viles of blood because i feel like I was run over by a truck still and its over 5 weeks. He gave my my b-12 shot, and taught my husband how to do it. He is checking all my levels to see why i am so tired all the time. The visiting nurse still comes daily for my wound care, at least another 2-3 weeks he says :(

Do i still have regrets..YES. I have only lost 30 lbs, but when I told the NUT I was only eating 400 calories a day, she said dont count calories, when I told my PCP he flipped and said I cant loose anymore unless I eat more, like 800 calories a day. Im sooooo Confused.

I have not posted to my blog because nothing has really changed. Today is 4 weeks and I'm still so unhappy. By my scale I have lost 27 lbs, I get weighed in tomorrow at the Dr's. office.

I still have major regrets and so wish I had done the band instead. My family continues to be a great support, but I know they are tired of doing the things I used to do.

My incision is slowly healing I still have the visiting nurse come daily, the sad part is I just got a letter from Aetna saying they approved 39 more visits do they know something I don't? That's another month of daily wound care.

My eating is minimal, I don't try many new things, though the NUT said I can, I'm just plain old scared to do it. Afraid of getting sick and afraid of getting something stuck. I already got a pill stuck about a week ago, and it wasn't fun.

I had a pain in my calf for a day or so, the yesterday it moved to behind my knee and progressivly got worse. I finally called the surgeon, who seemed like this was a great inconvenience on a sunday night, He told me my options were to go get admitted and a test would be done today or to wait till morning to go see his "girls" once they opened.

He called back aout 10 minutes later and said the ER had a tech and could do a leg scan for a DVT (clot) I waited about an hour in the ER, had the scan and thank God, no clot. No one cared to inform me why I might have this pain, no one even touched me in the ER, but I left 3 hours later a bit after midnight just happy not to have been admitted. Knowing my leg pain is a mtstery, but not a life threating clot.  

I went to the Dr. on Tuesday for a wound check, and as usual was re-packed and sent away to the nutrionist. She is totally confusing me. One week she says the Calcium I have is no good, then this week she changed her mind. I feel very rushed at the Dr's. once you gt in after waiting like a heard of cows for ever. It's first come first serve there, so even if youhave an appointment.. it's sit and wait. Very hard on my husband who has to leave work to take me there.

This week was pureed foods. Basically anything I wanted except carb. I have been living on Turkey meatballs my MIL made that were a life saver. I have made tuna, crab meat  and egg salads with a dab of FF mayo. SF/FF pudding, SF pops ans pureed chicken soup with veggies. Pureed grilled chicken is great. I am keeping a daily intake at the website daily plate and I cant imagine I am only eating about 420 calories a day. Getting in 60 g Protein, which my NUT says is fine, and still working on the water. I find diet peach snapple and Propel help alot.

Pain is still pretty bad, though Im not taking the Codeine anymore unless absolutly necessary. The abdominal binder they finally gave me this week has been a lifesaver. I can twist and get up in 1/2 the pain I was having.

The visiting nurse just left and says the hole is still 7cm deep. The nurse a few days ago said 5 :( so it looks like it will be a few more weeks of daily nursing care.

I go back to the Dr Wednesday of next week, so hopefully I would have lost more and this will finally be worth it

Ok today is day 14 and my pain level is down to a 6. I think that's pretty good. The Visiting nurse still comes every day for another week and then I think I will panic when I have to do the packing all by myself :(

I have to again count my blessings for the wonderful husband that I have. He has taken on all the kids, the house and all the cooking and cleaning PLUS takes care of me and works full time. I know this has been very hard on him and I cannot express in words how lucky I am and how much I appreciate all his help. He is the love of my life :)

The one thing that has helped my pain tremendously is an abdominal binder. I don't know in Gods name why they didn't give me one on day one, but it has helped me get up and down in 1/2 the pain and last night for the first time I was able to lay on the couch on my back. Still in a recline position, but I was able to put both legs up on the couch. A big feat for me in 13 nights :)

Tomorrow it's back to the surgeon for a wound check and a visit with the nutritionist and my B-12 shot.

Well I still can't believe I have been in severe pain for 12 days (mostly 8 out of 10). The human body is amazing. Yesterday I was able to walk around a bit more, and I thought it was a turning point of getting better, but today, I am back to just being able to walk to the bathroom and back and struggling to find a comfortable position on the couch recliner. It has been 12 nights since I have slept in my own bed and boy do I miss it :(

I have learned to take this whole thing mentally and emotionally day by day and at times moment by moment. I still require a lot of help from my family. I feel like an absolute waste as a mom and wife at this point. I know in a few weeks things will change, but for now, as I said its day by day and that how I feel right now.

Well the Visiting nurse just left and I finally have some encouraging news. My 7 cm wound is now about 5 cm. YEA!! I feel much better thinking all this pain is actually healing this hole in my belly.

I went to the DR yesterday and he wasn't too concerned with the Diarriah. At first they thought I had C-diff, but then said because I didnt have any pain it probably wasn't it. IDK The more I read on these boards, the more Ihave regrets. Every ache, pain or pull I fear a stricture, blockage, tear or leak. I am making myself absolutly nuts.

It's funny, the months before the surgery, I only looked at the "Before-After" posts, and read the "WOW I LOST 100 Lbs" and the "I'm so glad I did this" and how "RNY changed" everyones lives. I skipped over the hurt, pain, constipation, malnutrion, diarria stories.. why.. I wanted validation that what I was doing was the right thing to do I guess. Now I find myself hourly reading the boards looking for people who had or ar now having problems. I feel my body that I have lived with for the last 41 years is not mine, that I have to re-learn every ache, pain pull and gas bubble.

 

I called my PCP yesterday to ask about antibiotics, he doesn't want to get involved :( .

I also woke up today with Diarrhea, no pain, but whatever I eat or drink goes right through. I called the surgeon and they told me no Immodium for me, tomorrow at my check up, they will check for C-diff? OMG what did I do to myself. Buyers Remorse.. DEFINATLY!

I am sooo depressed. The visiting nurse just left. I have a hole 3 cm wide by 7 cm deep !!! She said it could take months to heal :(

And the worde part of this is that I told them in the hospital before discharge something was wrong with those staples. Out of the 6 sets I had, those were so painful from day one, and they blew me off. I just want to cry right now. They tell me to walk, yet I can barley stand. I dont know what to do. Oh. and they (my DR) doesn't think I need antibiotics!!!! Can you imagine.