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IT'S FINALLY HERE ....ONE YEAR

Jun 08, 2009

You rock!!!  That is what I tell myself and my RNY everyday. What is a year.... but time??  Well here is what a year has been for me.

First (being honest) I woke from surgery asking myself what the **** did I do to myself.  I was miserable for at least 3 days and I am not a whinny wimp.  I previously had thyroid surgery and had my tubes fixed without as much as a blink of an eye.  This pain was something entirely different and Unlike child birth I still remember it vividly.  That being said I would definitely do it again. 

Things I found most useful.... Protein first,  always drink plenty of water,  and the old adage that opinions are like arseholes is defiantly true.  Their are many people on these forums and in life genuinely, authentic, helpful people.  Then there are the attention hogs who know everything about nothing really  who have a suggestion of why you and your RNY are failing.  Take from them what is useful and leave the rest here.  For you know who you truly are and what your value is.

Things I do daily without any thought that I struggled with before.... tie my shoes, cross my legs, ride my bike, go to theme parks and ride all of rides, climb ladders, accept compliments and put myself in the top five of my most favorite people.

Things I struggle with now that I did not struggle with before...  my knee and hip pain is much worse(go figure), wearing a swim suit in public ( i love the beach and have yet to make it because my thighs are hideous.), shopping nothing ever seems to fit right,  dealing with being hungry all day everyday. 

All in All this year I have accomplished many of  the goals that I set for myself the most rewarding was taking my daughter to the theme park for her birthday and riding every ride with her that her little heart desires.  Next I have to conquer the swimsuit in public because next month we are para sailing in Daytona. 

Oh I almost forgot today I am 162 that is 140.7 down since surgery day.  I am 12 pounds from my original goal but I am very comfortable here.  I guess I'll see where I finally end up.

Peace and prayers to all who are on this journey together.
_Char

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11 months? really?

May 09, 2009

WOW , it's almost been a year already.  I am not going to update my photos until next month , just to keep you coming back!! Today I am 167.7 only 17.7 pounds from my goal.  I am struggling between finding where I am going to look the best and a stupid number on the scale.  When I look at myself now I think I should stay where I am and not lose any more weight but the moment I get on the scale I deflate instantly because I am not 150.  What is 150 except a number?  Why is it so important to me??

My husband and other family members are trying to convince me not to lose anymore weight as well.  Honestly my husband would be happier if I gained some back.  This surgery is a great tool but all of us must remember it is just that a physical tool.  It is not in anyway going to fix any of the mental or emotional battles most of us have with food.  For that we all need to seek help, to help us with our individual battles with food.  This journey will continue the rest of our lives.  There are many roads in front of us that will split in a million different directions most will in some way tie to food. Getting the tools now to be able to handle those situations with out stress, guilt, anxiety, happiness, or lust is where I am today.  I don't think I will ever have a "normal" relationship with food but I am willing to put forth the work necessary to maintain a healthy life.

Chy has been to the the doctor more than I care to mention this month.  We will find out on the 27th  what her new treatment plan is going to be.  So prayers are always welcomed and appreciated.

Peace and blessings until next month.-Char 

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10 months and holding

Apr 09, 2009

What a long month.  Very stressful and I am glad it is over. lol I intentionally tried to maintain my weight this month to give my body a break and let ever thing catch up.  I increased my calories to 1200 and continued to work  out.  Half way through the month when I had only lost 1 pound I was real sad. I realized maybe I do want to get to my original goal of 150.  My husband has asked me not to lose any more weight but I think I really do want to get to 150.  So I am journaling trying to work through this.  I hope an answer will come soon.  For this month I lost 4 pounds and an entire pant size.  So all in all I would call it successful for the mission I started out with.  This weekend I will decide my fate for next month LOL.

My daughter Chyanne continues to struggle with her disease and received some bad news last Friday from the doctor.  She cried all the way home from Shands ( about an hour and 15 minute ride).  She is always so strong and resilient.  It broke my heart to actually see her finally break down.  I knew that day would come eventually but I still was not prepared for the overwhelming emotions that poured out of my little girls body.  I pray daily for her peace and healing.

I guess that is all for this month stay tuned for the crazy ramblings from the princess.

-Char
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9 Month update....I survived

Mar 09, 2009

Hi everyone!!!  First, today is not only my 9 month surgiversary but it is also my daughters 12th birthday.  So one of my very first goals was to take Chyanne to an amusement park and be able to ride all of the rides with no worries.  So today when we pulled up my heart started thumping and I got scared that I wouldn't fit on the rides.  So Chyanne and I get on our first roller coaster and click it fit and there was room left.  So I ask the girl running the ride if there were any rides at the park that I wouldn't fit on (just for a heads up). She looked at me and said "are you kidding?" I said no I had just lost some weight but I was still nervous. She smiled and said "beleive me you wont have a problem".  So the rest of the day we went on every ride my little peanut wanted to go on.

Now for the rest of my update....Today I weigh 177.2 lbs.  I am still losing and can hardly beleive it.  I dont ever remember weiging this amount.  It's weird I am almost scared to lose more weight, I dont know what I'll look like. I am getting use to the loose skin.  I am beginning to wonder if I'll ever lose my double chin.  I went to the dr for my 9 mo check up and all of my blood work came back perfect.  So far so good.

That's all for now,
Char
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8 Month update

Feb 08, 2009

Today is my 8 month surgiversary.  I weigh 190.4 today.  I am 40.4 pounds away from goal and I am beginning to think I will make it. 

I am having serious body image issues.  I miss the way my body looked before surgery.  Now I have lots of loose skin in places I never knew you could have loose skin. LOL !!!

I am a water girl. Love love love the water.  Summer is in sight and I don't even know where to begin with appropriate swimsuits for my disfunctional body.  Even at 300 pounds I would run up and down the beach and poolside with out a thought of what others were thinking.  Now that is all I can think about.  How ugly my thighs are going to be this summer at the beach.  Plastic surgery is not even an option both finanially and emotionally.

Don't get me wrong, I love how healthy I am now.  Normal cholesterol and blood pressure.  My joints still really hurt alot though.  Would I have RNY again.  In a heartbeat.  I just wanted others who were considering this surgery to know not everyday is a bed of roses, no matter how hard we try and make it one.

Next month is Peanut's birthday.I am so excited to get to the amusement park with her and ride all the rides,  I am no longer scared that I won't fit.

Thanks for reading my ramblings,
Char

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7 months of Heaven

Jan 09, 2009

Wow how time flies. Today is my 7th month post op day.  I weigh exactly 200.0 pounds, down from 302.7.  Thats a loss of 102.7 pounds in only 7 mos.  I am very proud that I am learning how to work this tool.  There has never been a holiday season that I maintained my weight more or less lose 11.7 pounds during it.  Exciting doesn't begin to cover it.

As for the update on my DD that is not so good.  We went to Shands yesterday to have an upper Endoscopy done.  We now have to wait 7-10 days to get the results on the biopsies.  I know she will be okay but it is just so hard watching her get sick and there isn't much I can do to fix it.  She still has the best attitude and keeps fighting to stay caught up in her school work. 

Well good luck to all until my next monthly updaate-Char

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OMG 6 month update

Dec 09, 2008

I really struggled this month so I was truly scared to weigh myself this morning.  I was shocked!!!  As of today I am down 91 lbs !!!  I never would have figured I would have lost that much weight already. 

I am completely off of all meds except my thyroid meds and vitamins.  That is an awesome feeling.  I will update photos soon.

My daughter is doing a little better  now that she is home schooled and out of the germy enviroment of school.  We are learning to reschedule our life around her educational and health care needs.

My husband tells me everyday that he loves but thinks I have lost too much weight.  I am still considered obese by all national standards.  I pray he gets comfort with the  changes in  our life. 

Life is good and getting better.  March is only 3 months away and I know I am small enough to fit on the rides at Universal with my daughter on her Birthday.  





5 MONTH UPDATE

Nov 08, 2008

5 MONTHS SINCE MY SURGERY AND I AM NOW 224.5 POUNDS, DOWN FROM 302.  I BELIEVE TO SOME DEGREE I HAVE THE OPPOSITE OF ANOREXIA.  TO MY UNDERSTANDING ANOREXICS LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SEE NOTHING BUT FLAWS.  I HAVE ALWAYS LOOKED IN THE MIRROR AND SEEN PERFECTION.  NOW IT IS EVEN WORSE.  UNTIL I SEE A PHOTO OF MYSELF I DO NOT TRULY SEE HOW BIG I AM.  SO I AM CHOOSING TO LIVE IN MY WORLD OF DELUSION BECAUSE I AM SO HAPPY WITH WHO I AM TODAY.  

MY DAUGHTER IS STILL STRUGGLING WITH HER DISEASE AND MEDICINES.  WE ARE WAITING FOR WINTER BREAK TO DECIDE IF SHE WILL NEED TO BE HOME SCHOOLED OR NOT BECAUSE WE CAN'T SEEM TO KEEP HER WELL.  SHE IS CONSTANTLY GETTING SINUS INFECTIONS, URI AND PNEUMONIA.  I JUST WORRY ABOUT HOME SCHOOLING HER AGAIN BECAUSE I BELIEVE SHE IS SMARTER THAN I AM ALREADY.LMHO.

WELL HERE'S TO ANOTHER MONTH OF SUCCESS.

oops

Oct 20, 2008

I WEIGHED IN ON 10-9-08 MY 4 MONTH SURGIVERSARY AND I AM DOWN 68LBS.  I AM TRYING NOT TO WEIGH AGAIN UNTIL MY 5TH MONTH. SOMEDAYS I AM SO HUNGRY BUT I MAKE SURE I ONLY EAT WHAT I AM SUPPOSE TO. 
I WORRY ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS COMING UP AS I AM THE FAMILY BAKER.  MY DAUGHTER AND HER FRIENDS HAVE ALREADY ASKED ABOUT HALLOWEEN TREATS.  EVERY YEAR WE MAKE HOMEMADE CANDY AND CARAMEL APPLES, COOKIES, CUPCAKES AND OF COURSE BROWNIES.  MY MOM CALLED AND ASKED IF I FELT COMFORTABLE MAKING THE THANKSGIVING DESERTS, LIKE I DO EVERY YEAR.  THEN OF COURSE MY HUSBAND HAS ASKED IF IT IS FUDGE TIME YET.  HE HAS A HUGE SNACK TOOTH. LOL  I KNOW I AM STRONG ENOUGH TO SURVIVE MY FIRST HOLIDAY SEASON OF MANY MORE TO COME.

MY DAUGHTER STARTED HER NEW MEDICINE AND WE ARE HOPING IT WILL TAKE HER PAIN AWAY.  SHE HAS HAD THREE SHOTS SO FAR AND IS STILL IN ALOT OF PAIN.  THEY SAY IT CAN TAKE AS LITTLE AS 3 WEEKS AND AS LONG AS 3 MONTHS TO TAKE EFFECT.  IF THIS ONE DOESN'T WORK HER DR SAID WE WILL BE FITTING HER FOR A WHEEL CHAIR SOON.  SO ALL YOUR PRAYERS ARE WELCOMED.  HER NAME IS CHYANNE.

THEY CHANGED OUR INSURANCE AT MY WORK AND IT IS GOING TO COST ME AN EXTRA $130 A MONTH.  I HAVE TO HAVE INSURANCE FOR MY DAUGHTER, SO I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO PAY IT.  TOMORROW AT 945 I HAVE A CONFERENCE CALL BECAUSE NOW THEY ARE CHANGING HOW WE ARE PAID.  I HAVE HEARD THAT WE ARE LOSING OUR ONLY PERK, OUR HOLIDAY BONUS.  BUT WITH THE JOB MARKET ALL I CAN DO IS TAKE IT. THE RECESSION IS NOT A MYTH WHERE I LIVE.

WELL,  HERE'S TO A BETTER MONTH. 

LOVE CHAR

HORSES ANYONE

Sep 30, 2008

OKAY SO ALL MY STRESS AT GETTING ON A HORSE AT BOGGY CREEK (THE CAMP FOR DISABLED CHILDREN THAT MY DAUGHTER GOES TO) THIS WEEKEND WAS FOR NOTHING. THE HORSES WENT HOME FOR THE WINTER.  WE HAD SSSSOOOO MUCH FUN AND I FINALLY MET PARENTS THAT HAVE THE SAME STRUGGLES AS I HAVE WITH TRYING TO MANAGE MY DAUGHTERS ILLNESS.  I UNDERSTAND WHY SHE LIKES GOING THERE SO MUCH FOR A WEEK IN THE SUMMER IT IS AN AWESOME PLACE.

I WILL HAVE MY 4 MONTH WEIGH IN ON THE 9TH. I WILL UPDATE MY TRACKER AT THAT TIME.




About Me
Location
24.9
BMI
RNY
Surgery
06/09/2008
Surgery Date
Feb 26, 2008
Member Since
Friends 14
Latest Blog 11
OMG 6 month update
5 MONTH UPDATE
oops
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