Hayden D.
My Story: Updated
Feb 01, 2009
Ok, it's been nearly two years (a year and 1/2+?) since I really have been on this site. SORRY everyone. I had to do some soul searching and it all has really paid. Now I want to share my "Work in progress" story with you!
So, A couple of years ago I was fed up with the constant gaining and losing DRASTIC amounts of weight and it was taking a toll on my health. It was also taking a toll on all aspects of my life. I had questioned Gastric years ago and considered even more, once my best friend had undergone the procedure. She is more than a year out and I couldn't be more proud of her. Myself, I knew I should follow suite and use her strength too do something about my own health as well. I did tons of research (as previously stated in my prior blogs) and tons of talking with people on OH. I even met tons of cool people here on OH!! I decided I would pursue surgery and start the long journey ahead of me. Hurdle after hurdle, I continued to pursue this surgery. Not once, possibly taking any of this as a "sign". I switched surgeons and found one that was willing to help me on the billing aspect (trying to get approved by insurance). The horrible thing was EVERYTHING was coming outta my own pocket, when I didn't have money to really begin with *eek* STill, I knew this was my health and future I was talking about. I was 1/2 way into the 6 month process and had uneasy feelings. Not only was there a HUGE lanuage barrier at the surgery center I had chosen to change my life, but I started to feel like another number. I started to feel like a "piece of meat". What was worse, I really didn't TRUST the surgeon I had chosen. I knew I had to listen to my heart and everything else. I asked the question of "have I REALLY tried EVERYTHING"?!? I thought I could answer no to this question, as I was just tired of everything. Guess what? I could answer a resounding NO to this question. I couldn't believe it. All this money, emotions and time invested and I felt it wasn't for me, at that point in my life. I knew this was my health and I had to take a chance and have no regrets. Next day I saw a flyer at work for a personal trainer. I worked with the girlfriend of this trainer and was so scared and nervous. I was well over 340 lbs at this point and the thought of seeing this trainer was something I had NEVER done. I knew I had to give it a chance. I had to give my health and life another chance. THe first time, of course, I thought he was going to single-handed kill me. haha. But, I found myself ENJOYING my sessions and really getting into them. The best part is I know this person cared for my well being and became a good friend. I would workout at gym in between the times I wasn't there and made it a point to be more active during weekends. I was SO happy to know I found more supportive people out there that helped me with words of enouragement. For once I am NOT "dieting" at all. Guess what? I LOVE IT! My trainer told me NOT to deprive myself and I would find I would want to do better and learn to eat the right way. I finally do that! I measure what I eat, while still having the things I do want. If I have a bad meal or even a bad day..I finally can get right back on it with no feelings of remorse or shame (big thing with me!). A little over a year later, I am still going to the trainer and enjoying my workouts. About 5-6 months I did a body cleanse and found myself sick when trying to eat meat again. So, I no longer eat meat. I still enjoy my fish, however :) I also make juice (Love my Lallane juicer!) daily and i feel so much healthier. Don't get me wrong, I still have a long way to go. I lost about 70-75 lbs and I still have another 70 or so lbs to go!! I just now I no longer care about "deadlines" or the time frame...I am enjoying being more active and enjoy eating healthier foods! I enjoy the fact I occassionaly will have meals I want and am able to get back on it!
The reason I am saying all of this? Funny thing is I had a couple people on OH question if this surgery really WAS for me. They even stated they found success on watching what they ate and exercising. Sad to say, I thanked them and pretty much dismissed them. I want to let people know I am an example of being able to make weight loss work and finally having things "click" (after SEVERAL years) without the took of WLS. I think WLS is a VERY brave choice and I think everyone on here is SO amazing. I know the journey is NOT an easy one, whichever route you decide to take. Those of you that are thinking of surgery, just really question Have you really tried EVERYTHING??? I now know what the process entails and I am more "aware". Whichever route you decide on, the fact you decided to make a change in your life isa HUGE one. I think that is the biggest step you can make. I am not saying one method is better than the other at all. I merely am sharing my story and hope others may relate to it. I cannot thank everyone for being so supportive on this site and I hope I can be of support to everyone on here as well. I know I will have moments where I might have moments of weakness and I'm thankful I can call on the OH community. Thank you everyone!!
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So, A couple of years ago I was fed up with the constant gaining and losing DRASTIC amounts of weight and it was taking a toll on my health. It was also taking a toll on all aspects of my life. I had questioned Gastric years ago and considered even more, once my best friend had undergone the procedure. She is more than a year out and I couldn't be more proud of her. Myself, I knew I should follow suite and use her strength too do something about my own health as well. I did tons of research (as previously stated in my prior blogs) and tons of talking with people on OH. I even met tons of cool people here on OH!! I decided I would pursue surgery and start the long journey ahead of me. Hurdle after hurdle, I continued to pursue this surgery. Not once, possibly taking any of this as a "sign". I switched surgeons and found one that was willing to help me on the billing aspect (trying to get approved by insurance). The horrible thing was EVERYTHING was coming outta my own pocket, when I didn't have money to really begin with *eek* STill, I knew this was my health and future I was talking about. I was 1/2 way into the 6 month process and had uneasy feelings. Not only was there a HUGE lanuage barrier at the surgery center I had chosen to change my life, but I started to feel like another number. I started to feel like a "piece of meat". What was worse, I really didn't TRUST the surgeon I had chosen. I knew I had to listen to my heart and everything else. I asked the question of "have I REALLY tried EVERYTHING"?!? I thought I could answer no to this question, as I was just tired of everything. Guess what? I could answer a resounding NO to this question. I couldn't believe it. All this money, emotions and time invested and I felt it wasn't for me, at that point in my life. I knew this was my health and I had to take a chance and have no regrets. Next day I saw a flyer at work for a personal trainer. I worked with the girlfriend of this trainer and was so scared and nervous. I was well over 340 lbs at this point and the thought of seeing this trainer was something I had NEVER done. I knew I had to give it a chance. I had to give my health and life another chance. THe first time, of course, I thought he was going to single-handed kill me. haha. But, I found myself ENJOYING my sessions and really getting into them. The best part is I know this person cared for my well being and became a good friend. I would workout at gym in between the times I wasn't there and made it a point to be more active during weekends. I was SO happy to know I found more supportive people out there that helped me with words of enouragement. For once I am NOT "dieting" at all. Guess what? I LOVE IT! My trainer told me NOT to deprive myself and I would find I would want to do better and learn to eat the right way. I finally do that! I measure what I eat, while still having the things I do want. If I have a bad meal or even a bad day..I finally can get right back on it with no feelings of remorse or shame (big thing with me!). A little over a year later, I am still going to the trainer and enjoying my workouts. About 5-6 months I did a body cleanse and found myself sick when trying to eat meat again. So, I no longer eat meat. I still enjoy my fish, however :) I also make juice (Love my Lallane juicer!) daily and i feel so much healthier. Don't get me wrong, I still have a long way to go. I lost about 70-75 lbs and I still have another 70 or so lbs to go!! I just now I no longer care about "deadlines" or the time frame...I am enjoying being more active and enjoy eating healthier foods! I enjoy the fact I occassionaly will have meals I want and am able to get back on it!
The reason I am saying all of this? Funny thing is I had a couple people on OH question if this surgery really WAS for me. They even stated they found success on watching what they ate and exercising. Sad to say, I thanked them and pretty much dismissed them. I want to let people know I am an example of being able to make weight loss work and finally having things "click" (after SEVERAL years) without the took of WLS. I think WLS is a VERY brave choice and I think everyone on here is SO amazing. I know the journey is NOT an easy one, whichever route you decide to take. Those of you that are thinking of surgery, just really question Have you really tried EVERYTHING??? I now know what the process entails and I am more "aware". Whichever route you decide on, the fact you decided to make a change in your life isa HUGE one. I think that is the biggest step you can make. I am not saying one method is better than the other at all. I merely am sharing my story and hope others may relate to it. I cannot thank everyone for being so supportive on this site and I hope I can be of support to everyone on here as well. I know I will have moments where I might have moments of weakness and I'm thankful I can call on the OH community. Thank you everyone!!
Updates...and a few roadblocks *eek*
Aug 11, 2007
As you all know, I have recently started my process and have entered this whole journey with open arms. I have been hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. I have heard so many people's stories (wonderful and difficult both) and have been trying not to have any false hopes or fears. Of course, I have already had my share of roadblocks placed in front of me *sigh* I am NOT letting that get to me and I am hoping the insurance will cooperate with me. What's more is that I hope the surgeon's office with cooperate with me and help me out.
First off, as you know, I LOVE the surgeon I have chosen. He has put me at ease and I feel in my heart he is the best surgeon for me. Even better, he IS in my insurance network! WHOO HOO. Now, comes the difficult part. I know the person who is working with insurance (at Surgeon's office) is trying to be realistic with me. I KNOW my insurance (GreatWest) is VERY "by the book" and is known for turning various people down. However, I was NOT expecting the WLS office to give up IMMEDIATELY. Right away they asked if I wanted to pay cash instead??!? Can you believe that?!?! Yea, let me just pull out my checkbook and assure them the check will be made of rubber! haha. I called insurance about 50 times back and forth and made sure surgeon office KNEW my policy DID cover procedure..it was all just a matter of meeting guidelines. So, please keep your fingers crossed.
Bottom line, I knew I had to complete my 6 month diet and here I go! I officially started my 6 month last week and I am SO happy my PCP has hopped on board. She even enthusiastically said: "ok, let's get this started and get it all approved the first time". I even cried when she took a pause and told me: "I know it was very brave of you have made this decision for WLS. I know it also is frustrating when you make the decision, only to have tons of roadblocks thrown in your way". I know there are a lot of things I've yet to go through and I am only going to try my hardest and embrace the entire journey. Afterall, more time will only prepare me to gain more and more knowledge. Plus, I want to have this go as successful as possible and get ready in every way possible. I want to be healthy for the long haul! I only hope/pray the surgeon's office doesn't sloppily put everything together in 6 months time. I want them to HELP me and get it all situated!
In the meantime, I want to do it all CORRECTLY! I am going to look up support groups in my area and try to go to as many as possible. Also, I was referred to seek counseling. I talked to the psychologist and he sounds GREAT! Insurance covers 50% of that and it's not TOO bad. I think it will all do me some good and prepare me as much as I can be prepared. I am also (Monday) going to re-start Weight Watchers to get that in the books for my insurance.
Every step of the way I am so thankful for my loved ones and for OH for being so supportive. I know in my heart this is the tool that will help me finally gain my health back and to start a lifelong healthy life. I will be patient and do whatever it is they throw in my way. I will try my best to not be frustrated! haha. I hope everyone is doing great! Much love!
First off, as you know, I LOVE the surgeon I have chosen. He has put me at ease and I feel in my heart he is the best surgeon for me. Even better, he IS in my insurance network! WHOO HOO. Now, comes the difficult part. I know the person who is working with insurance (at Surgeon's office) is trying to be realistic with me. I KNOW my insurance (GreatWest) is VERY "by the book" and is known for turning various people down. However, I was NOT expecting the WLS office to give up IMMEDIATELY. Right away they asked if I wanted to pay cash instead??!? Can you believe that?!?! Yea, let me just pull out my checkbook and assure them the check will be made of rubber! haha. I called insurance about 50 times back and forth and made sure surgeon office KNEW my policy DID cover procedure..it was all just a matter of meeting guidelines. So, please keep your fingers crossed.
Bottom line, I knew I had to complete my 6 month diet and here I go! I officially started my 6 month last week and I am SO happy my PCP has hopped on board. She even enthusiastically said: "ok, let's get this started and get it all approved the first time". I even cried when she took a pause and told me: "I know it was very brave of you have made this decision for WLS. I know it also is frustrating when you make the decision, only to have tons of roadblocks thrown in your way". I know there are a lot of things I've yet to go through and I am only going to try my hardest and embrace the entire journey. Afterall, more time will only prepare me to gain more and more knowledge. Plus, I want to have this go as successful as possible and get ready in every way possible. I want to be healthy for the long haul! I only hope/pray the surgeon's office doesn't sloppily put everything together in 6 months time. I want them to HELP me and get it all situated!
In the meantime, I want to do it all CORRECTLY! I am going to look up support groups in my area and try to go to as many as possible. Also, I was referred to seek counseling. I talked to the psychologist and he sounds GREAT! Insurance covers 50% of that and it's not TOO bad. I think it will all do me some good and prepare me as much as I can be prepared. I am also (Monday) going to re-start Weight Watchers to get that in the books for my insurance.
Every step of the way I am so thankful for my loved ones and for OH for being so supportive. I know in my heart this is the tool that will help me finally gain my health back and to start a lifelong healthy life. I will be patient and do whatever it is they throw in my way. I will try my best to not be frustrated! haha. I hope everyone is doing great! Much love!
Gyna-ma-what!?!
Jul 31, 2007
Ok, I know I haven't written in a while and I just thought I'd share this funny story before heading to bed. I was previously searching my network listings trying to find a good/reputable PCP. Sounds easy, right? WRONG! I came across the RUDEST and most unprofessional people. I merely wanted to get a vibe to see if they were supportive of WLS and also had experience.
After several hours/days of searching, I came across the funniest one yet. This one woman answered the phone and announced the doctor's office she was affiliated with. I started to ask her general questions and then asked her about WLS questions. The Woman paused and was hesitant to answer my questions. Finally, she RUDELY blurts out at me: "SIR, YOU ARE CALLING THE GYNA-MA-LOGOCIST" office!! I apologized and tried not to laugh at her horrible usage of words. I told her it didn't specify that in the listings and she then replied in a calmer tone: "that is QUITE all right" and then she slammed the phone down on me! haha. Can u believe it?!! I guess it's just one of the many things we deal with during our WLS journey. I couldn't help but laugh. I feared once false call and I could have been changed from a rooster to a hen in one quick action! haha kidding. Much love and laughter to everyone!
After several hours/days of searching, I came across the funniest one yet. This one woman answered the phone and announced the doctor's office she was affiliated with. I started to ask her general questions and then asked her about WLS questions. The Woman paused and was hesitant to answer my questions. Finally, she RUDELY blurts out at me: "SIR, YOU ARE CALLING THE GYNA-MA-LOGOCIST" office!! I apologized and tried not to laugh at her horrible usage of words. I told her it didn't specify that in the listings and she then replied in a calmer tone: "that is QUITE all right" and then she slammed the phone down on me! haha. Can u believe it?!! I guess it's just one of the many things we deal with during our WLS journey. I couldn't help but laugh. I feared once false call and I could have been changed from a rooster to a hen in one quick action! haha kidding. Much love and laughter to everyone!
Journey has officially started!!
Jul 11, 2007
I can officially say that my journey towards a healthy me has officially started! Now, there is great and potentially bad news!!
Let's start with the happy and great news, shall we?? I have finally found a surgeon that sounds WONDERFUL (have read SO many wonderful things about him). His name is Dr. Namir Katkhouda. Anybody here dealt with him? please share any feedback :) Well, he IS in my network and insurance would cover it (upon me meeting all their "guidelines", that is *eek*). It was required I go to a seminar he the doctor is holding on the 21st of this month. Of course, I signed up IMMEDIATELY for that and I got my first consult with him on the 26th! YAY!! So, I finally am seeing light at the end of that tunnel and I am feeling so great about it. Of course, I know this is only the beginning and I have so many things to experience during this long journey. I am just excited I've made my decision and am starting everything.
Now for the potential bad news :( I spoke with my insurance message and asked if she could send a copy of the guidelines to cover WLS. She IMMEDIATELY got me the paperwork the very next day. Actually, the paperwork was more like the size of a "Harry Potter" novel (which I cannot wait to read the last installment, by the way! hahaha). I already have a couple of months with a "supervised" (WW) diet and I already expected I would have to do a 6 month thing. BUT, they want me to be able to show I have MIN 5 years with BMI higher than 40. Well, prior to this job I have (2.5 years there)...I had NO insurance. So, of course, I don't have documentation. They also mentioned about documentation for the past 2 years with SPECIFIC details (dietitian notes, etc). Well, ALL my life I have been UP and down drastically. I was 35BMI or so about 2 years ago. So, I am afraid they will deny me flat out :( I've heard greatwest healthcare is VERY picky....so I am just very scared. WISH ME THE BEST!! I am also in the process of trying to find a new and supportive PCP *eek* I will be strong and give it my best. I just need to remain optimistic.
Thank you again to all of you who have shared such wonderful support and stories with me. I cannot go through any of this without your kind words and support!
Let's start with the happy and great news, shall we?? I have finally found a surgeon that sounds WONDERFUL (have read SO many wonderful things about him). His name is Dr. Namir Katkhouda. Anybody here dealt with him? please share any feedback :) Well, he IS in my network and insurance would cover it (upon me meeting all their "guidelines", that is *eek*). It was required I go to a seminar he the doctor is holding on the 21st of this month. Of course, I signed up IMMEDIATELY for that and I got my first consult with him on the 26th! YAY!! So, I finally am seeing light at the end of that tunnel and I am feeling so great about it. Of course, I know this is only the beginning and I have so many things to experience during this long journey. I am just excited I've made my decision and am starting everything.
Now for the potential bad news :( I spoke with my insurance message and asked if she could send a copy of the guidelines to cover WLS. She IMMEDIATELY got me the paperwork the very next day. Actually, the paperwork was more like the size of a "Harry Potter" novel (which I cannot wait to read the last installment, by the way! hahaha). I already have a couple of months with a "supervised" (WW) diet and I already expected I would have to do a 6 month thing. BUT, they want me to be able to show I have MIN 5 years with BMI higher than 40. Well, prior to this job I have (2.5 years there)...I had NO insurance. So, of course, I don't have documentation. They also mentioned about documentation for the past 2 years with SPECIFIC details (dietitian notes, etc). Well, ALL my life I have been UP and down drastically. I was 35BMI or so about 2 years ago. So, I am afraid they will deny me flat out :( I've heard greatwest healthcare is VERY picky....so I am just very scared. WISH ME THE BEST!! I am also in the process of trying to find a new and supportive PCP *eek* I will be strong and give it my best. I just need to remain optimistic.
Thank you again to all of you who have shared such wonderful support and stories with me. I cannot go through any of this without your kind words and support!
My turning point
Jun 26, 2007
What made me realize I need to do something? Well, I'll try not to get too sappy and cry too much. It all happened about a month ago during my first trip to DC and NY. I realized the things I yearned to do so much had it's price to pay as an overweight guy. I couldn't do the long walks and sight seeing I wanted to do. I was pointed at and starred at. I cried, in the bathrooms of these foreign areas. I didn't want to ruin this trip for my partner, so I tried to regain my composure. I suffered rashes, blisters, and various joint/bone pains. Then it all came down with the worst event. Upon the flight back home, I knew I couldn't fit in the plane seats. There was a skinny new Yorker in the seat next to me. She barely moved aside, as I had to scoot alongside her. I could NOT fit and she wouldn't budge. I lost my balance and FELL on top of her. She let out a shriek and EVERYONE turned and looked at me. People started pointing and LAUGHING at me. Even the flight attendants refused me proper treatment. It was a horrible event I wish to never revisit. How can people be so cold??
Upon returning home, I knew my best friend had gastric bypass surgery and I was starting to learn more and more about it. Could this be the help I finally needed? I am constantly asking her advice and questions..I am thankful for her. I am just doing more and more research. i will keep you posted. Please give me any feedback.
Upon returning home, I knew my best friend had gastric bypass surgery and I was starting to learn more and more about it. Could this be the help I finally needed? I am constantly asking her advice and questions..I am thankful for her. I am just doing more and more research. i will keep you posted. Please give me any feedback.
About Me
San Pedro, CA
Location
41.2
BMI
Jun 12, 2007
Member Since
