FREAKING OUT BIG TIME!

May 18, 2009

Puke green print - that seems appropriate!  Last Thursday on May 14th I had all my pulmonary testing and CAT scans done through Dr. Chen Pulmonologist.  I was told I would have the results that afternoon.  They never called - so I called them twice.  I was told to have patience.  Friday I called again and was informed that the CAT scan results had not come back yet.  Dr. Chen then called me back and said he had faxed the results of my breathing test to Dr. Oh stating that I should be fine for surgery.  He also told me that my testing thus far showed my lung capacity at 67% and figured it was due to obesity. 

So then I figured hurrary things are fine and I'll get my surgery.  Dr. Oh's office called and told me that a "should" be fine for surgery is to vague - they need is cleared for surgery or is fine for surgery, not a should be fine.  So I called back Dr. Chen's office again and told them this.  I was told be patient these things take time, we are still waiting for results of CAT scan.  SHIT to be blunt!

All weekend I was on pins and needles so nervous about all this.  All I wanted to do was eat - but no can't do that, have to stick to starvation, unsatisfying liquid crap diet.  Felt depressed and awful.  Finally Sunday I started having bad stomach cramps.  Ran to bathroom and just sat there plugged.  Unusual for me - usually I'm loosey goosey.  With tears forming up I finally was able to unplug and the plug was followed by super, explosive loosey that smelled so bad - like super bad rotten vitamins - really grosely chemically stuff.  Hmmmmm, maybe that's giving me an idea of what after surgery will be like if I ever get there!

Here it is now Monday afternoon on the 18th of May.  Four days, three nights before my scheduled surgery day on Thursday the 21st.  Dr. Chen Pulmonologist just called me.  He informed me that he had faxed over more results to Dr. Oh including my just received CAT Scan.  Dr. Chen stated that he wrote that my lungs are clear for surgery.  Hurray!  Happy for about 1 second.  He followed it by saying that testing did show mild asthma (no big deal), but said it also showed I have Pulmonary Hypertension.  Not severe, but he said enough that he needed to inform Dr. Oh and see if Dr. Oh wants me to go in for an echocardiogram.  Here we go again.  Called Dr. Oh's office - they were out to lunch.  Crap!

I had a complete heart work-up done this past August/September because I was having heart palpitations.  I wore a halter device for a week, then a different one for a month, and they did a stress echo on me.  I was told I was fine to exercise and do whatever I want.  I just had minor heart palpitations which most people have - I'm just sensitive and can feel them more than most.  WHY DIDN'T THAT TESTING PICK THIS UP??!!!  I'M STARTING TO THINK ALL THESE CRAZY EXPENSIVE MEDICAL TESTS ARE A BUNCH OF CRAP!  My dad had a stress echo test and two days later had a heart attack!  He had a major artery 99% clogged and another one 88% clogged.  Thank God the emergency surgery saved him in time and my dads doing ok now.

So...to make a long story longer I just called my heart doctor's office - told them what was going on, and they are going to fax over my results of that stress echo to Dr. Oh late today or hopefully by next morning.  Who knows, doctors are busy and you're told one thing and another happens.  Problem with that stress test was they did not insert that nasty dye into my vein to get the best look because they couldn't find a darn vein in me.  And the heart doctor didn't feel the die was necessary because he didn't see enough on my other tests.  Guess I fooled him.  My advice to anyone reading this is:  Tell the doctor's to hire people that know how to find a damn vein!  But then again, they used the dye on my dad's stress echo and look what it didn't do for him - heart attack two days later!

So now here I'm sitting and waiting and stressing out more.  I just talked to Dr. Oh's staff, and they are trying to find the new information from Dr. Chen, and are pouring through my chart and history and previous information from heart doctor trying to make a determination to see if I'm good to go or whether they will demand more testing before surgery.  So now I'm getting upset that here I'm on day 12 of this awful liquid diet, I haven't cheated at all, (God I want too), and now I'm freaking out that they just might end up cancelling me for this week and make me do more tests which I'm starting to feel are worthless!!!  After my dads experience looks like you have to have that heart attack and then they find the problem and hopefully you survive.  Dr. Oh's staff said they would call me back soon as they know anything - busy office - will I hear by today, tomorrow, Wednesday or be sent home the day of my supossed to be surgery!!!  Perhaps I am blowing things way out of proportion.

Oh, Cripes this goes on and on.  Dr. Oh's staff just called back as I was writing this.  They said they received the fax from Dr. Chen and said that they now do need clearance on my heart.  I called heart doctor back at the Poly Clinic - he's in with a patient.  Talked to clerk and more explained the problem.  She informed me that computer notes showed that Dr. B (heart doctor) did fax over copies of my stress test back in September but the tests may be too old.  So now waiting for them to talk to Dr Oh who is very busy of course.  May need new ehco and other tests.

Cripes Dr. B's office just called.  They feel it's best for me to come in and get new stress echo.  They are getting me in at 11:15 tomorrow, then sit around have lunch (Ha Ha), and see Dr. B at 2:00.  If all goes well he will then fax note to Dr. Oh giving me clearance for Thursdays surgery.  So technically I'm still hanging in the air not knowing until perhaps tomorrow afternoon - IF I'M LUCKY.

The moral of this long story is:  To get through this whole process you have to do everything yourself, take the bull by the horns.  Don't expect Dr. offices or insurance to do everything for you.  You have to be pushy and do things for yourself.  Then if all goes well with a few prayers maybe me maybe you will reach that operating table.

Signing off for now - need to call Dr. Oh's office back and tell them the new news.

Donna/ragadolly - and boy am I feeling ragged!

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