RAGmom3

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This a.m. my husband told me that I don't need to loose much more (if anymore) weight~!

This a.m. I weigh 167 in my b-day suite and after my morning constitutional.  I haven't been at this weight in a VERY long time.

I think I was a tad shocked though when my husband said he thought 170 was a good weight for me and he didn't think I'd look right if I lost much more weight. 

This is probably the first time along this journey that it has been brought up about me loosing too much weight.  I'm still in a bit of shock.  But I will have to be honest, it is in my head a tad more.  I'm wondering if I will drop to a point that I look unhealthy.  Let's face it, I'm a big gal.  I'm 5'10" (or was before middle aged menopausal shrinkage) and my shoulders, feet and wrist are as large (if not larger) than my 5'11" husband's.  I had originally thought 152 would be a good weight, would allow for any regain, etc.  Now I'm wondering if I've hit a point of too much weight loss?

So, this morning, I'm sitting here in a bit of shock.  Someone, for the first time, has said I look like I've lost all I need to loose.  My brain is still trying to catch up with the real image and mental image of myself (which still has me trying to wrap my head around a lot of things).  For example, I still see big belly and big gal--even in pictures.  My husband and kids see skinny.  The scales show what I would normally call "skinny". 

Has anyone been here before?  When does this "adjust"...I mean the mental and real images of our weight?  I'd appreciate feedback on this.  Again, I'm still in a bit of shock about being told that I don't need to loose more weight.

Thanks.....

Its been awhile since writing and a lot has gone on.  I decided to take the other job I was offered.  My current employer though apparently did not like it and let me go early into my resignation.  This meant a scramble to get my gall bladder taken out (which was already scheduled from the first of the year).  I ended up having it out and having complications.  Apparently I have an ancillary cystic bile duct that is not common.  When the gall bladder came out, this duct opened up and leaked bile into my abdomen.  After two weeks of intermittent pain, I was back in surgery.  Normally a procedure could have taken care of it, but due to the RNY, that route was blocked.  I am on the mend and scheduled to start my new job on Monday.

In the meantime...on the 22nd of June, before my gall bladder removal, I was 179.  I was thrilled to break the 180's.  Today I am 171.  I have been on and off NPO status so much the past couple of weeks that I've lost weight.  It is not the good kind of loose weight either!

Anyway, I am making it and doing OK at the moment.  I hope that I have a good check up from this latest surgery.  I should know by Thursday.

As I loose weight and try to get my health back into control, I am also looking at personal/professional changes.  For example, the house has been a work in progress over the years.  My husband and I bought this old farm house.  Original part of the house is an 1800's log cabin.  It has taken YEARS to do work on the place and make the changes of an old house into a home.  Starting to shape up.

Professionally, I finished my doctoral degree.  This was HUGE accomplishment.  I was raised by parents that had to quit school to work and help support the family.  Mom and dad always encouraged us to continue our educations.  I feel like I finally "made it" with that milestone behind me.

The weight loss surgery has given me a wonderful tool to help decrease my intake.  Right now I'm 78 lbs down from my highest weight.  I am thrilled.  I am not a spring chicken anymore, but I can get up and move better and have more energy to do things than I did before.  Diabetes has cleared up as well.  These are good changes.

Now I am looking at my career to include in the changes.  I was in another part of the state working to finish my doctoral degree.  For 18 months my family was split up to accomplish this goal.  I am now back *home*.  I returned to my old job, which is less than satisfying.  I just don't "feel it"--hard to explain, but I'm certain there is something else out there for me.  So, with much debate, I am changing jobs.  There will be more autonomy at my new position.  It is scary because I'm leaving the stability of a paycheck every two weeks to a situation of productivity.  Otherwise, I get paid on what I do.  That should not bother me, but what if I get sick?  What if there is bad weather?  These are the things that really concern me.

On the up side though, it will eliminate issues on the job that bother me.  I think that will be a relief.  I can go in and do my work without feeling trapped, disorganized, or fighting a loosing battle.  There are some good things about this new job.  Seems like the agency really has their act together.  I am looking forward to the change.

So, this blog is about the changes going on in my life.  I'm staying optomistic about all the changes.  I hope I continue to succeed at all of them!

This morning, to my surprise, I actually made it into the 180s!!!!  189.8 to be exact!  I'm thrilled!!!

I was looking at an email I had sent to a friend back in February.  Then I was so thrilled to be in the 230's.  Man, is this really happening?!??!!!  I would never be able to conceive that I would loose 40 lbs in such a short period of time!

All going well on this end.

I was low in Vit D and was taking an additional 6000 units of it.

After my D levels came up, I decreased it to an additional 1000 units.  Since then, I'm starting to have a tad more pain in my hips which cleared up on the higher levels of D.

The supplement is above my calcium and multivitamins D.  I think I'm taking a total of 3000 units a day when all added together.

What is everyone else doing?  Is there a limit on what is safe?  I don't want to over-do it.  Last levels were good, but don't want to over dose myself.  Thoughts anyone?

I am so happy that I weigh in at 191 this morning!  With some luck, next week I hope to make it into the 180's!  I cannot remember for sure the last time I was in that weight range!  My last post was about 2 wks ago and that is another 5 lbs. gone.

So, I am pleased that I continue to loose weight.

My mom and sister had not seen me since the surgery.  That was a nice little wow moment of itself.  My mother was not overly shocked as I have kept her informed.  I think my sister was shocked, but in a good way.  My size 14's that I just bought are loose in the rump! 

I have energy and good thing as my job is really taking a lot of it!  I haven't been back for a month and am already considering a job change.  My lifestyle changes, making healthier choices, needs to spill over into my work life.  I have found a lot of good changes taking place, but I think I need to work on some other items in my life.  Current work situation is extremely stressful, and well, not healthy.  Amazing how the ball gets rolling down one way, and it all reveals itself.  I am good at what I do, but when put under extreme time lines and duress, I feel I do not do as well as I should and it takes a mental and physical toll on me.  So, here is to positive changes in 2011!!!!

Another one bites the dust!  But in a good way....

My goal for my change of jobs was to be below 200lbs.  On the Friday before I started my new job, 199.8!!!  Yippeeee!!!!

I am currently at 196.  I am slowing down on the weight loss, more like 2 lbs per week.  That is OK though because I am still loosing weight.  My next goal set was to be "normal" BMI by my birthday.  I think that is very realistic. 

I had my 3 month check up and all was well.  Vitamin levels all good.  Glucose level, good.  He was well pleased with my progress.  He seems to think I would be at normal BMI at my 6 month follow up in July.  Maybe...just depends on how all goes.

I will have my gall bladder out in June.  The day after, I will go to my follow up the follow day and have the July 4th holiday to heal up before going back to work. 

I am currently in size 14s.  This is a surprise to me.  I was much less in weight (from my memory) when I wore this size before.  I can't believe how much my shape has changed!  I still have to look at the tags and do a double take!  Shirts are large and extra large still, but I'm happy with that as I can buy things off the rack, as long as they're long enough.

Finally, four months out, I have energy.  I love it.  I feel like doing things and not so wiped out.  Now to tackle being better at exercise!

I could go on forever, but just an update that things are going really good.  I found out that our bodies can only absorb about 30 grams of protein at one time.  I've been doing large protein shakes, with 40 to 50 grams of protein in the mornings.  So, some of this protein may be going to the wayside.  Been trying to revamp other ways to get protein in....this is another challenge, but all in all, I'm glad I had this surgery and I'm feeling great.

I did it!  I am no longer obese but now overweight!  Next stop 'Onederland'...which I haven't seen in years!

I am able to move around better.  I can go up stairs like I want to...walk quickly up a flight instead of hoisting myself up step by step.  Diabetes is resolved!  I can balance on one foot in the shower without feeling like I'm going to topple over.  Boots are no longer at verge of cutting off circulation to my calves.

So, good things are going on.  Draw backs?  Having "appetite" for things that I know I cannot eat.  I've done pretty good.  I have not dumped and only had the "foamies" a couple of times.  I miss ibuprofen and being able to take prednisone.  I currently have bronchitis and the shot I was given doesn't seem to be kicking it.  This will be a challenge in the future. 

Next week I have my follow up appointment.  My daily weight is slightly off from the doctor's office weight.  At my heaviest (which is the beginning weight I use) I have lost 56 lbs.  I think I want to loose another 56 lbs.   I want to be in the normal range and have some room to spare.  That range is 173-129.  In the middle is 151 lbs.  If I loose 56 more lbs, I will be 152.  I think that is a realistic goal.  This should be a healthy weight to maintain.  Again, the diabetes is resolved, I do not have aches in my joints like I once did, I have more flexibility and balance...all is going pretty good!

Until later....

Weight 217.0 this morning.  I am 9 lbs away from the goal of no longer being obese!

My next goal is to reach "Onederland".  I was aiming for April 11th, but that may be too soon; maybe not.

Then I think I will try for being "normal weight" instead of overweight.

I'd like to be normal weight by the time my 30 year high school reunion comes about.  That would be so awesome to be there at close to my high school weight (I bounced a lot so may be up or down).

Besides tired at the end of the day, I'm doing good.  I'm eating enough food.  I'm not killing myself on junk food.  I drink enough fluids, and am taking my vitamins.  Need to take extra C as I've had about 4 people in office with the flu...UGH.

More later....

Very quick note...late for work!
I met my goal...219.8 this morning, which is less than 220 on Valentine's Day!  YEAH!
New goal to be in onederland by the time I return to my old job on April 11th.  That is about 20 lbs in 8 weeks from today.  I think I can do that easily.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Good check up today.  Think it was a gall bladder attack.  I do not want to have another surgery just yet, but I don't want to have really bad pain and scare everyone either.  From what I understand, that can happen and quick.  So, for right now, I want to get out until July if possible.  That will give me time to heal.

Ok...drumroll please....I lost 11 lbs in 3 weeks and 3 days!  So, it is coming off for sure!  I had a funny episode at work.  A patient's parent exclaimed, "Oh, I see you had your baby!"...first of all, physically impossible (no plumbing left) and I think pushing 50 it is a bit late in life...I took it as a compliment, because that means a lot of my belly is GONE FOREVER!!!!  I did find out later that another staff involved in care, DID have a baby and this caretaker must have been confused on who was pregnant...but she STILL noticed I was a lot smaller!

My husband has been good support.  He sees that this lifestyle change will have a positive impact on the rest of the family.  He has given up nightly ice cream!  Only until now (50) has he become overweight.  He was one of those skinny kids growing up.  My 17 year old, who started to plump out like I did is even watching her intake.  She has cut out sugary drinks and lost about 10 lbs since my surgery.  Maybe my changes will have a good impact on the rest of the family as well.

Next follow up will be in six more weeks.  In the meantime, I will continue onward~!  I will periodically post my scale's weight.  There is still about 4 lbs different from first thing in the morning and then an afternoon appointment while fully dressed....

Later!