Samantha S.

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Nov 16, 2009

Woo hoo!! Can u tell I am just alittle excited!!!!?????!!!!!

Yep! I am 7 mos post op and down to 166 lbs!! YAY!! I have thrown those fat clothes away cause I never wanna return to that old girl again!! I am actually sharing clothes with my teenage daughters! All except for those dang low cut jeans! That is a cruel joke!! Muffin tops are not attractive! I still gotta long way to go before I can pull those off!! But what I can wear of theirs puts a huge smile on my face!! I have to pinch myself to remind me it is not a dream!!
 
And the gym? Getting better! I can jog!! ME!! JOG!!! Can u believe that one! I could barely walk when I started this!!!I had so many health problems that my doctor actually gave me a wheelchair!! I used it 3 or 4 times. That was the straw that broke the camels back for me! I was WAY to young to accept that I would not only NOT get any better but my quality of life would continue to decrease. He expected me to be in the chair most of the time within a year or 2!

Well, not only am I not using the thing....it is in the basement.....God Willing FOREVER! I have been out dancing a few times with my girlfriends and guess what....I dance circles around my skinny peeps let me tell you! And I am getting noticed....and not only as the fat girl!! Mind you in the back of my mind I am like.....yeah.....you wouldn't give me the time of day a few months ago.....but the attn is nice. I feel pretty! Yes it is an exciting time in my life!!

I still have bouts from time to time with my fibromyalgia but otherwise I am healthy and happy for the first time in years!! Yes Me!!! HEALTHY!!! Not morbidly obese, diabetic, hypertensive, depressed shell of a human being....just Samantha!! Healthy and Happy!!! And coming out of my shell!!! I am not the quiet one...shy and afraid of her own shadow....but assertive and caring less each day what others think of me! Go figure!!!

All I want to say to everyone out there is if I can do it...you can do it! I have had my share of set backs on the way to this happy place. I have had 3 surgeries since June after my accident. It pretty much kept me from any kind of exercise for a few months. But its OK cause I am back up to 4 miles at the gym! I am getting back on track! My nose is healing well so it didn't break me! Whenever you get set back....hang on and don't give up! The scale is moving again. It was temporary! There is light at the end of the tunnel!

If at this point I feel so elated by it all....I cannot imagine what it is going to feel like at 1year....or 18 months! I went from a size 28 to size 14 in jeans! From XXXL to just plain ol' large! I wish I had a crystal ball to see what I am gonna look like at the end of this road! I only have about 15 to goal weight....but I wanna lose more! And I feel like it could happen!! So here goes!! Wish me luck as I do to all of you!

Aug 18, 2009

Well it has been almost 5 months since my surgery. I worried that I had not done as well as I could when I went back for my 4 month checkup. Honestly I didn't want to go. I had hit another plateau. But I was so happy and amazed at my doctor's reaction. I had lost 66lbs and was at 65% of my weight loss goal! I was so happy!
Truthfully I had a set back with snacking and I had been recovering from a terrible accident which resulted in a broken (more like shattered) nose. I had to have emergency surgery and the pain put me flat on my back not able to exercise at all. So needless to say, I was scared and depressed. The scale had stopped. Although I wasn't gaining it was very disheartening to say the least.
But my wonderful doctor gave me the words of encouragement I needed. It was great knowing that these things were normal. That I would experience lulls in weight loss. And most importantly that I was on the right track!!
I have picked up the exercising again. Cut out the snacks. My nose is healing much better than anyone thought. It put me down for a bit but not out of the game. I am determined to beat the depression once and for all. I am even thinking seriously of going back to school. I feel human again and it is awesome!
For anyone who is going thru tough times the first couple of months out....please hang in there!! There were days I wondered if I would make it through. What had I done? It does get better, I promise. And it is worth it!! You will learn what your body can tolerate. And trust me...it is different for everyone. And when you feel like you are sabotaging your diet, it is OK. You can start fresh tomorrow. Put your lil failures behind you and look to the future! I think most of us were addicted to food. Your mind will still tell you try this or that....you need that comfort. I am telling you I still struggle with it. Food was my friend. But it was killing me. Stay strong. Tomorrow is a new day. That is my new motto.
I try to imagine where I will be in a few months. I still see the fat girl in the mirror. But on paper I have lost more than 70lbs now! That is amazing to me. It's like an out of body experience!!! I have all these new angles in my face and get to buy new clothes. Heck I am getting into some of my girls clothes! It is awesome! When my mind catches up with the rest of me, watch out world! There is no telling the person hiding in there all these years!
Thank you Lissa Reed for all your support and encouragement. You have been my inspiration the whole way. For the rest of you, check out her story. I am lucky to know this lady personally and she is amazing! I hope to live....really LIVE life the way you do today! I don't know where to even begin, but I am so ready!! Love you girl!!

Apr 15, 2009

Okay, so I am three weeks post-op. I am so glad to have the surgery behind me! I must say my surgeon was excellent. He was able to do everything laproscopic and I recovered pretty fast. I went back for my 2 week check up and lost 12 lbs. IDK, that didn't seem like much to me. Does anyone have a clue of what the average weight loss is for the first couple of months?
I am trying my best at exercising. That has been the hardest thing for me as I am limited by pain. I am determined to push through that pain as I want to achieve the best possible outcome. Does anyone have advise on what kinds of exercising I need to be doing other that walking? I am going to start water aerobics this week also. 
Thank you to everyone who posts before and after pics. On a bad day where I feel like, "how in the world am I gonna do this?", I will come on and look at the results. It reminds me that it will be worth it all in the end. If you haven't read Lissa Reed Payne's story, do so. She has been so inspirational to me. I worked with her a few years ago and consider her still today a dear friend. She has been the voice in my head saying "Go for it!" To see how far she's come....I want to be a success like her. I know how our weight keeps us in a bubble more than you will know. Well this girl busted hers wide open! She lives life to the fullest. I am so proud of you Lissa!
I cannot imagine being a tenth as outgoing as she is, but just to LIVE, not let life pass me by...that is what I want! We all can do that. Let's do it together!!

Mar 12, 2009

YAY!!! I have been approved and my surgery is on the 23rd of March!! I have been researching WLS for about 5 years now! It is hard to believe that in just 11 days it is actually going to happen!! I was beginning to wonder if it would ever happen for me! I went to 3 seminars before and it just didn't work out....insurance issues!! All the while....through many diets and tons of failure and frustration...I prayed that God would one day make it possible.  Of course dieting meant every time I lost 20 or 30 pounds....BOOM! I gained 10 or 20 more than before as soon as I failed! I spiraled into depression and anxiety so bad that I rarely left home. I had one illness after another and honestly had no hope for any kind of a "future." I used to consider myself a good mom. With being sick ALL THE TIME, my girls (now teenagers) take care of me! Well lets say....TOOK care of me!
I found an awesome surgeon, Dr. Ravindra Mailapur, in Huntsville Alabama. He is the answer to my prayers....and well worth the wait I must add! See, God knows what he is doing! I was approved right away! Still, my doctor wanted me to lose 15 pounds. I wasn't thrilled, but he explained it was much safer for surgery and a speedy recovery. I am glad he did now. It was a good indication of how and what I will be able to eat with my "new tummy" and it was a true test of my determination. He made it clear that it is ultimately up to me how well I do. I am thankful he holds me accountable. I find myself not wanting to let him down. He truly cares for his patients and makes you feel like he is in it with you. It means alot to me. I am use to doctors looking down on me with disgust on how I "let myself go."
I am already feeling so much better....just eating the right foods. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I have real hope for a quality life. I am taking better care of my family. My girls feel like they are getting their mom back! It can only get better from here!
One more little note....being sick the last couple of years, I have pretty much isolated myself from old friends and even some family. I am in great need for support from people who know what I am going through, so any words of wisdom, support, good recipes....would all be greatly appreciated. Thanks!