rhaw88
I've never been a small person. Even growing up, I had the body of a gymnast, but perferred dance and did so from the time I was four. I grew up in the age of dancers that weighed 98 pounds and were 5'2". I could wrestle my brother, was a competitive swimmer and 5'4" by the time I was in 6th grade. My dance teachers told me that even though I was very talented, I would never be a professional dancer because I was too muscular. So much for fertilizing any dreams a child might have.
Anyway, even though I was fairly popular through high school, I always felt extremely self conscious about my body thanks to those 4'11", condescending little witches.
During my first marriage, I gained up to 160. My first husband was extremely critical and unforgiving, so I went on a diet and lost quite a bit, becoming a size 6. Later, through the separation, I lost down to a size 4.
When I met my current husband (15 years) I was that small, working out 6 days a week and working part-time at a retaurant that required a cute figure. For the first time in my life, I had confidance in how I looked. I maintained my weight until I got pregnant with my first child. After pregnancy, lost most of it.
In 1996, I was diagnosed with sarcoidosis and put on an intense regiman of predisone. I gained 60 pounds over a 2 year period. Thank God that I finally went into remission, but the weight won't go away.
I've tried everything and RNY looks to be my last option. I have apnea, asthma, fibromyaglia, type II and lots of joint pain. My hubby, in-laws, and friends are very supportive. My mother is a whole different story. I waited until just a few weeks ago to tell her, even though I've been in the process for a while. She has a worry factor that would drive a person insane. I love her so much, but she is one of the main reasons for having this surgery. Over the years she has become very obese and has suffered terribly for it. Her health is in a sorry state and she has trouble going anywhere. I'm terrified of becoming like that. I want to be able to run around with my great-grandkids! I already have conditions that are directly related to my weight and I'm tired of them all. I want to be healthy again.
