Realizations

Dec 21, 2007

I am 6 months out and -75 lbs. I have lost maybe 2-3 pounds since 9/16/07. Yeah a MAJOR plateau right? I have been going crazy!!! I mean no weight loss? Is my honeymoon over already? I am working out 3-4 times a week, I have a personal trainer and everything. BUT there is one problem. I have a VERY hard time distinguishing the difference between actual hunger and head hunger. And also I became a scale whore. I mean it was getting really bad. I would hop on that thing like 10-12 times a day! So unhealthy. Finally my friend gave me a mini intervention and compenscated my scale. So earlier this week I went and saw the nut and my surgeon and they told me 2 things.
1. I am eating more than I should. (unplanned meals/snacks) 
2. Some people have WLS and don''t loose a single pound (genetics, I literally got it from my mama (lol)) I freaked!!! I was like am I ever going to get below 250? EVER??? Mind you I have not been under 250 since I was like 14. So what is a girl to do?

I had a realization as I was sitting there balling my eyes out in frusteration with the surgeon. 1. I can't do this on my own. I need a ton of support
2. Write down everything you eat
3. Before I open that fridge I ask myself, Are you bored? Is your stomach growling? Have you drank enough water? Then I look at the fridge again and walk away. My surgeon said that this is a very hard stage to be going through. I mean I know it was no piece of cake (lol) but man o man I am having a really hard time with this right now. 

But the thing that has made me feel better about this whole situation is that I have realized I have a problem and now I can work towards fixing it.


Seriously?

Nov 04, 2007

Ok this is what I fear. I have been the same weight for this past month+. I have been working out 3-4 times a week and cutting out the carbs and trying to get in more protein. I see everyone else losing and that is awesome but what about me? I know it's great that I have lost almost 75 lbs so far but I still have a lot to go. It is just so frusterating. I fear the scale. When I get on I am almost in tears because it is the same #.

Has anyone else ever had this much of a platueau? I mean no change in a month or more? I know that this is considered the honeymoon stage but this is no honeymoon for me. What can I do. I CANNOT stay this weight. There is no way. I had this surgery done as a tool but it doesn't seem to be helping me out right now. I am going crazy trying to figure out what to do. Any suggestions?

Thanks for listening

Ruth

Always being "The Friend"

Sep 03, 2007

My love life right now is NULL. Nada, zip, zilch, zero. I AM SO SICK OF BEING THE "FUNNY" FAT GIRL!!!!! I meet a lot of guys but I am always "the friend". Why is this? I want to be more than a friend. What is a girl to do? 
Everyone keeps telling me that I will meet someone but I haven't and it is starting to get frustrating. I mean I am putting myself out there and there are no takers. I will admit, I am shy at times but after talking to me I come out of my shell. I look at my thinner friends and see how they get guys left and right. Is being obese such a huge turn off? Will dating change when I am thinner? It is so frustrating right now. Everyone tells me that I have a pretty face. Ok thats great, but what about the rest of Me? Am I a nice person? How is my personality. GURRRRR!!! I asked one of my close guy friends what it is about me that he likes. Again, it is my "great personality". I asked him why no guy will date me and he didn't know what to say. 
So what do you do? Wait around? The phrase Fear of Rejection comes to mind. maybe thats why I don't try as hard as I should with guys. All I know is that I am on this journey, I am still fat and without a boyfriend. 

So if anyone knows any single guys that doesn't mind having an obese girlfrined. Hook it up!!! 

Sorry about the rant. I feel better :o)


Back to Work

Jul 31, 2007

Yesterday was my 1st day back at work. It wasn't as bad as I thought. A ton of people said that I looked great and they missed me. It was nice to know that everyone was routing me on. ALSO I got my G Tube out yesterday. YIPPIE! Dr. K said that I am lookin good and that I am on the right path. He said that I am in the "honeymoon" stage, and I wil be there for like a year and a half. It really makes me look forward to seeing what the future holds. I know that this is no free ride to Skinnyville and that there is a TON of hard work to be done but I am looking forward to it. Now since my tube is out I can go to the gym. They have lots of cute trainers there!!! That will get my ass motivated to work out. Bustin a move to find Mr Right.

Alcohol and Me

Jul 23, 2007

Ok. I am a VERRYYYY BAD Girl. Well maybe not so bad, but that's how I feel. Friday night my friend Sherri and I went out for a cocktail. I had one little margarita. I would say about 3/4 cup. I was trashed half way through the drink. After finishing my lovely mango margarita we proceded to go downtown to meet other friends. I drank water at a couple of bars and then temptation caved in and I took a shot of Rumplemenz peppermint schnops. Talk about a buzz. No I wouldn't even say a buzz. I damn neer almost feel outta my seat and onto the floor. I felt it hit my pouch and I thought. Uhh ohh. I am gonna die right here. I could barely walk outta the bar. Luckily my friend drove me home where I then layed next to my cat in the fetal position for about an hour.

Point of the story is... It's hard to break old habbits. I mean I used to be able to do 4 shots in 1 sitting plus a couple mixed drinks. Now I have to be super careful. I don't want to feel like that again. My poor pouch. I mean I have a ton of friendships based on going out and drinking and eating. This is a lot tougher than I ever imagined.

Sunshine on my shouder makes me happy...

Jul 17, 2007

It is Tuesday, July 17th, 2007. 1 month post op and I am still alive. Did I really get cut in 2 and had my stuff rerouted? Let me look at the hospital bill... Yep. It's amazing. I look at my scar everyday as a reminder that I am in this for the long haul. It's difficult. My friends and family are so supportive. But they just don't understand. I am grateful to have everyone's support here. We ALL have been through the same thing and have the same goals. It's nice to know that if I have had a shit*y day, I can come here to vent. 
So there is a support group meeting on  Aug 8th. I think I am going to take my mom. I didn't tell her about the surgery until 2 weeks before hand. I felt kinda bad lying to her but I just didn't want her to know. She does blab a lot. I think that's why. I'm just not comfortable with people knowing yet. Is that wrong? Maybe I am still getting used to it. Who know's right? 

I sit here and ask myself... Where are my boobs going??? ekkkk!!! Why couldn't I lose in my legs, or belly? The price you pay for a healthier lifestyle.


GURRRR!!!!

Jul 07, 2007

7/7/07
Ok 3 weeks post op and ?ing why I feel like I can eat more than 1/2 a cup of mashed potatos. Is there any way my pouch can be bigger than I think or am I nuts. Who knows. I LOVE the new scar on my belly  Is there any way to make it not look so big?


About Me
Green Bay, WI
Location
RNY
Surgery
06/18/2007
Surgery Date
Feb 16, 2007
Member Since

Friends 48

Latest Blog 7
Realizations
Seriously?
Always being "The Friend"
Back to Work
Alcohol and Me
Sunshine on my shouder makes me happy...
GURRRR!!!!

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