sanfranjflo

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Getting really nervous.  The nervous feeling that you feel in your gut. It has not been a great start to this week. One of my co-workers died yesterday. He was a really good doctor. He was in very good shape and extremely healthy. I was sad and my first thought was, what am I going to do when my best friend food is gone? I am really nervous about dealing with my emotions. I know I can do this and I will do this. Am I afraid??? Absolutely!

Well here I am waiting for the end of July. Everything is now just a waiting game. My insurance approved everything and I paid my aftercare fee. I had to go see my PCP and he was not so nice to me. He definately let me know of his disapproval. I am doing this for me and he can kiss it. I can always find a new doctor. He thinks I can do it on my own. Well if I could don't you think I wouldn't have this problem at 32 y/o? It hurt my feelings cause I am sensitive but oh well. I can't believe this is finally happening. I never even dreamed of having weight loss surgery until this year. I was just too scared, but diabetes is going to beat me if I don't change. I have just tried too many times. I got a little panicky last night but I managed to calm down. This is going to be such a huge change. I just can't wait. I feel like I am being re-born. My father keeps saying to me that I am going to miss big meals. Nope I could care less about those big meals. I just want to be healthy and finally know what it is like to be a regular person. I have always been fat....

Well it  is the beginning of the process for me. I just finished my psych eval and my nutritional consult. Jenny Craig gave me hell but I pulled a few tears and they finally came through. I hope this journey is everything I am dreaming about now. I can see in my head the new future and all the excitement it is going to bring. I have never been thin. I don't even know what that is like and I can't wait to taste the success! I know this is going to be hard but I know I can do this! I am so glad to have found this website. It is nice to be surrounded by others that have and are walking in my shoes. I can do this!! Woohooooo!