Scooby1980

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It has been a while since I posted. Thought I would put some [random] thoughts out there.

Surgery:  I was late for my surgery. The ONE morning there is some convention downtown, I am stuck in traffic. You know how I knew that I really wanted surgery? I was crying!  Yes, crying. I was so freaked out, I called the hospital every 15 minutes to tell them I was STILL on my way, and were I was on the freeway. Then my fiance' made fun of me and I got mad and we got into a tiff.

Oh! Random! I have new motivation now!  I am getting married!    I got engaged in November and I am getting married on October 31st. WOO HOO....Here's to getting an amazing wedding dress!

Post op totally sucked! The gas pain was so unreal. I thought I was going to blow up. I hurt everywhere and was (again) crying. I had this kinda pain for about 3 days. It would come and go by days 4 & 5.

My all liquid diet sucked too. It was so sad, my family was sitting in the dining room, eating spaghetti and I was on the couch eating my 300th cup of broth. They were trying so hard not to sound like they enjoyed it. I almost felt like an outcast. I didn't even want to have a conversation with them.

I was down 13 pounds after the surgery and the liquid diet. I held on to that pretty steady for the 6 weeks. I say that in a past tense because I am kinda mad. I found out I am not having my first fill until the second week of February. What the hell?!  I have no restriction! I am still doing my best to make good choices, but I am afraid he will be mad at me when I go in, and I have gained weight.

HOW CAN I USE A "TOOL" IF THAT TOOL ISNT WORKING PROPERLY? 

It finally happened! I was banded on the 2nd of December. I consider this the best (early) Christmas present I could have ever asked for. I will be writing more later. I need rest.

I should be in recovery now...but I am not.
 
Instead, I am waiting to hear from insurance YET AGAIN. 
--The doctors' office is gathering all my medical records for the past 5 freakin years so they can submit a new case to my insurance company.  I will then have to wait again to hear if I am denied or approved.

WHy does my insurance company need 5 years of "proof" that I am overweight.?! Most insurance companies can look back on the last 2 years or so.

What sucks even more is that I chose that surgery date for a reason. I had people taking off work for me, to come help. They had to waste their time too. In case you can't tell, I am still pretty p*ssed off and hurt.

Monday morning I woke up with this strange feeling that I needed to call my insurance company. It was the beginning of my 2 week countdown and I thought "hey, I never got that letter from insurance I was supposed to get."

I spoke with insurance and somewhere along the way, there was a mix up. SURPRISE...no one wants to take credit for the mix up.

I don't know if it was at my doctors office. (It doesnt seem like it) But it may have been with my insurance company or the liaison between the insurance and my doctor.  

                         I am not approved for surgery.   

  I am in shock. Someone screwed up big time and I am in shock.  I did NOT qualify for surgery, according to insurance, and I am NOT supposed to have the surgery in a week and 3 days.  Who ever told me it was a "go" was mistaken. They got the ball rolling and that  is that.

I have been crying most of the day and I am not sure where to go from here.

I am scheduled to have surgery on the 11th of August.

I was walking out of my doctors office today (my nutrition pre-op appointment)  and I asked the people behind the desk, "When should I go off my medications?"  One of the women replied, 
   " *Gasp* Ohhh..you should be off them NOW"  and she leaned over and asked if I am on birth control.
 "Yes I am "  ..and I told her of the other medications I am taking
   "You should be off them NOW....birth control can sometimes lead to blood clots if you have surgery. Yeah, you should stop taking all of them by now."

Um HELLO?!?!?!  Are you kidding me?!  Was anyone going to freakin TELL me this before?   Do I NOT have the right to be a little ticked off? What would have happened, I would have showed up for my pre op on the 7th and the doc asks, "so you 've been off them for a while, right?"  I am really upset about all this. Is this some reflection of how his office is run?  How do I know they have their act together? How do I know they aren't going to do something wrong?

Am I just freaking out? Others have had this doctor and they are all going on and on about how great HE is. Should I not let his office staff reflect him?

Blanche from The Golden Girls, said it best:
"I'm feeling magenta"
I am not jealous...so I am not quite green. 
I am not scared...so I am not quite yellow.
I am not really sad...so I am not quite blue.
I'm magenta

I got my surgery date today. August 11th will  be the start of a new life, in  many ways. I am feeling so many things right now, I can't keep my head on straight. I am freakin out, going over all the "What ifs" and I am starting to second guess this whole thing. I dont want to second guess.  
   I have never known a life without eating casually and without fear. I am not an emotional eater. I just like food...I don't want to go out to dinner and have to sit close to the bathroom. I don't want to look over a menu and try to figure out what WON'T make me sick this time.
With other surgeries, like bypass, I can understand how the stomach rejects foods. (too much, too greasy, etc)  Will I reject food? Will it be because I can't eat it, or will it mainly be because I ate too much too fast? 
--I can't seem to find someone with answers. Then again, I have so many questions.

 I just found out at the beginning of the week, that I am finally approved for the lap band surgery!  I say "finally" because it is long overdue.  I first went to Dr. Ganta for the consult, in November of '07.  I received a letter about 5 weeks after, telling me that I was not approved.  Wait...for once in my life...I am NOT FAT ENOUGH for something?!  How messed up. 
       I began a new medication and it made me blow up! I was depressed and I knew I had gained so much weight, I figured I would apply again with the doctor. I was above the required BMI and I started the appeals process. 
       The chaos with my insurance company began. I was told I was denied. I reminded them it was an appeal, and they casually said "oh, yeah, we have not filed your appeal."  Then I was told it was a yes, and then a no again. I kept getting denied because they kept filing my new info under the pre-existing denial. The insurance company never took my information as an appeal. UGH. 
       Talk about a huge roller coaster of emotions. I FINALLY got a call from the doctor's office. I am beginning my pre-op appointments next week, and I am getting ready for a lap band surgery in August. It's about time!