Seskio
My parents divorced when I was 2. there was a lot of hostility between them since my mom ended up being a single parent of 3 children. Working and going to college she managed to pull through and keep up with a roof over our head by the grace of my grandparents. My mother's parents were our angels. they let us live rent free on their property for years while my mom struggled to make ends meet for us kids. My mom was usually gone from dawn till dusk while she worked and learned to put food on the table.
My grandparents were surrogate parents to me. When I had a parent teacher conference or got sick or hurt at school they were always there. School plays and chorus recitals they were my personal fan section rooting me on and always being supportive and believing in me. I was still young at the time and I never could understand why mom or dad never had the time to come see me when I tried my best to shine on stage. Or when I had to talk to a teacher about my progress reports.
6 days after my 11th birthday my grandparents and my mom's younger sister and best family friend died in a train wreck that shook me and my family to the bone. My mom withdrew into herself and became a hermit and my sister and brother shortly moved out to live with my father because of the issues at home with my mom. I stayed living with my mom, which was difficult because not only her mother and father, but also her little sister and best friend were taken all at the same time. So, being at the age where I really needed my mom, I got a depressed shell of a human who I didn't recognize anymore.
I was still coming to grasp that I would never see the people who were so important to me again. And because of it all my mom developed a depression based eating disorder. I don't know if at the time she could see it. But I could. She would fill her sorrow in food. I took after it also when i was sad id hide in my room and eat. Because I couldn't talk to my mom about it. I didn't want to upset her.
When I was 16 (and at 160 lbs) I met a guy who told me that he would save me from all my problems and whisk me away and make me happy. I thought I was mature enough to make my own decision with what I wanted to do with my life ( I wasn't ). And this guy had no reason to lie to me right? Wrong. I got married to him at 17 and spent the next 3 years in an emotional Hell.
In 2004 my mom had taken control of her obesity and eating disorders and decided to get Lap-Band. And over the next 2 years while my marriage went down hill and my weight went up. I watched My mom's health improve and the weight melt off. I was 20, and now the heaviest person in my family. Weighing in at 285 lbs. I just wanted to die.
My marriage got so bad that I wish I didn't wake up every morning. I wish I would have died in my sleep. To wake up to a husband who treated me like crap, called me names and made fun of my weight and living in a body that was so heavy my back, leg and hip joints cried when I would try to walk or stand. I didn't know what else to do.
I separated from my husband in August of 2008 and since then I have lost 20 lbs (it's amazing what a little happiness will do for you)
My mom is looking great with almost a 80 lb weight loss since she had her Lap-Band installed. And I know WLS is what I want to do for myself. I have tried diets and excersise but it ended up in failure and dissapointment. I've tried just about everything to lose weight and it works for a little bit but then I plateau, get discouraged and give up.
I don't know how I will ever be able to pay for WLS. Over the years I have been researching I'm thinking I want to have a Duodenal Switch... but because of my weight it pains me to stand more then an hour at a time. Which has prove difficult for me to find a job. So no income, no credit. I need to find a way to make this work...
