sharkcandy7

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

 I'm so sorry that I am bad at keeping this up. 
I wish I had more time to get involved in every ones lives on a more consistant basis. 
Things have been OK. 
I had my baby. It was a very sick pregnancy! I threw up the whole 9 months!! That part is just hereditary. My mom and grandma went through the same thing. 
My baby is a year old now. I breastfed her up until now. I tried to keep on a good diet, but alas my hormones kept me crazy hungry with ridiculous cravings. I am 10 pounds above my lowest adult weight. In essense I still have 10 pounds to lose before I get to the point where i was at my WLS plateau. Grrr. I am going through a 14 day detox cleanse  because I just ended the breastfeeding so I hope this will kick things into action. I have gotten new vitamins and I just need to get on a better eatins plan after the cleanse and everything will be fine. 
If anyone has any advice, tips or anything it would be much appreciated. I still have not gotten skinny but am at a size 14/16 which is comfortable. I just want to feel healthy and less jiggly. 
Im tired and delirious so I will go. 
I hope all is well with everyone!!!

Since i have had surgery....
I have moved from my small house to a big hour 4 doors from the waters edge/beach
I have lost 100 pounds, possibly more I just have not gotten on the scales in a while
I have gone to Africa and completed my lifes mission which was to go Deep Shark Cage diving. SOmething I could have NEVER done with an extra 100 pounds
I have fallen in love with the man of my dreams, who just happened to be there all along. He knew me before, during and after and loved me just the same 
I have cut all co-dependant relationships from my life. I realized that there are certain people that just drain you of your time, energy, money and personal well being BECAUSE you are so insecure, want to be liked and so easy a giver. THis is not healthy for more reasons then one. It caused me stress, loss of money and a lot of sleepless night. My main relationship was that of my older brother. He is mentally ill and i took the brunt of everything. I still do BUT i know now that you cant make someone live who dosnt want to live themselves. At some point their consequences are something THEY have to be accountable for, not me, anymore. I love him (them) and am here if they want to talk. But no more of this jumping and running and stressing my life out over it. 
I am getting married to my soul mate.
I am designing my wedding dress
I am having a baby
I have been wearing HEELS, actual high heels. Something I never really did before. I couldnt walk in them. Now i can. 
I tell people what I think. Good or bad if they really want to know...I have gained the strength not to candy coat anything and be completely honest. 

My life has changes immensely. 
From years of living alone, partying, eating and being confused and stressed out a lot. To being happy in every way shape and form in my life....
i am amazed. 
The surgery is the only thing i can attibute all of this to. 
I love my life and for the first time in a while I can honestly say i love ME 1st and foremost (finally)

wow

almost 3 months along.

Went to my Dr a week or so ago to get all the blood tests etc....Apparantly i am in tip top shape! My blood is fine and taking my vitamins really makes a big difference!
I am down 100pds fo sho now but am still creeping along. This has been a very slow progression of weight loss ever. I mean I have seen my family lose most of their weight in the first 4 months after surgery...me? Not quite like that at all.
Everything is good. I am pmsy today and cant stop craving choco chip cookies! Its driving me batty.
Other then that - i have to get to the gym and get on a better diet. I can be good at this ya know? I will not turn out like my mom or aunt. I will succeed!

Here I am 10 months out and i am down 96 pounds. Almost 100 but SLOW GOING. I feel great and everyone says I look great. but seriously I am a skin flappin mahmah. THis sux! I raise my arm to waive good by and my pants almost fly down because of the fan of air created from my underarm.
But its all good. I still have time to work it all tight again.
I leave for South Africa the day after tomorrow and boy howdy amd i excited. Woody and I are going for Deep Shark Cage diving and Safari-ing. I will have to update when I get back of course. Pics will be posted too.
I have not been to the DR in so long its criminal!

Well I moved in with my lover. Everything is great. We live in a 3br house 4 doors from the beachs sand. I am hovering at 210 and missed my period last month so i feel horrible! I keep taking tests and it all pops up negative. BUT i still wonder....
I think I will flip if i ever get below 200. At this point I am 8 months out and I dont know if i ever will....but ill die trying.

This is a guy that I have known for years. We just didnt really talk before. I was friends with his sister and family before I got with him.

Point being - this weekend he told me, and has been saying ever since, that I am his own personal goddess and God sent me here for him to worship.

I have NEVER had anyone say anything close to that.
I have to tell myself that I am worthy .
I have to deal with these evasive fat girl 'i dont deserve him' emotions.
He knows and he tells me he can see it on my face that I dont accept what he says very well.
I love him with the passion of a thousand firey suns and that hasnt changed or waivered. BUT it still feels new and has been a learning expierence all along for me.

Ok so i havent seen my DR for any follow up appointments. I had one scheduled yesterday but his office moved and no one told me so I didnt get to see him.
BUT
I weighed myself and lo and behold its true, I have broken this plateau. I am now at 213.
I dont really see myself ever being skinny. BUT I have never been below 220 as an adult. The last time I weighed below was when i was a freshman and 4'11 (ya ya i grew a foot in my sophmore - jr year).
Anyhow I feel great! Everyone tells me i look good but I am just having a hard time seeing it. I feel just like me. I look in the mirror and I see the same person I always saw. Maybe i wasnt really down on myself as most people are? Maybe because I had been big for so long I chose not to physically understand myself? I got worried when I was told I had bad health, that was my big motivator. Not because i was crying while looking into the mirror or anything. Hmm.
Anyway - I moved in with my boyfriend/lover. He is still the most amazing thing I have ever come across. I love him. He is my soul mate.  Moving in was the right thing to do.We are going to South Africa in october to go shark cage diving. When we get back he wants kids marraige etc. So we shall see.
anyway - i hope you all are well.
Have a good one!

I think I am below 220 now. If i am this is the lightest I have weighed since my sophmore year in high school. My scale has a mind of its own and chooses something in a 10 pound bracket. Lately its weighing me below 220 regardless.
I cant believe it and I dont know what I did?

DOnt know what the deal is. Maybe i just have a creepy old scale that says what it wants to. BUT in general I am freaking out because my mom had this surgery and is already a size 20 again. I am so afraid that i am going to do the same thing. I realize its only been 5 months or so. BUT what if? 
I have to make the right choices and i feel like I have no support system. The girl in the office who had the surgery really eats what she wants to and does not have much advice. The other girl who had it is really into her success etc. BUT is so busy we dont get to talk much about it. I almost feel like i need a counselor. What do i do? 
Today I am tired. I over commit myself to things and just feel burnt out. I havent had a vacation since the surgery where I tool 1 whole week off BUT was working by phone and email 2 days after the surgery. I feel depressed in a way but my life is better then it has been in forever. Am i hormonally challenged? Does this happen? My hair is falling out. I havent been to the DRs in a while and i feel like a slacker. Im living off of starbucks Fruit and CHeese plates and cafe mochas (i should be shot for that). annndddd thats about it. 
I am looking for advice or something. Am i on the right trak? What more should I do? How do i motivate myself? 

Sincerely,

Hovering and Hormonal in San Diego