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Went on a wild goose chase!!

Nov 27, 2007

Ok, so I got a call on saturday from a doctor's office, ( I thought it was the Physical Thrapist office, I done told folx dont be holding conversations with me while I'm asleep). Anyhow, the lady said, this is "so n so" calling from Memorial Regional(the name of the hospital) to remind you of your 10 a.m. appointment on Monday. Well I heard that part, but must have mis understood the dept she was calling from, because I started saying to myself after she hung up, "Oh dayum....that means I've got the telephone consult with the nutritionist at the same time on Monday. So here I go, done drove all the way from Miami to " North Buckfukk Egypt"(Fort Lauderdale, about 20 miles) and yall know gas cost too much to be making blank trips. To get to the P.T. office and they say, "Ms Godwin...you dont have an appointment with us today. Being that its all the same system, the lady goes...."but you do have a phone 10'oclock with the nutritionist. I'm standin there in my head goin..."Fluck, Fluck, Fluck". I done messed up now. So now I have to somehow make this trip, not a blank one. Thankfully I was due for 1 of my 2 P.T. appointments, therefore I begged the scheduler to see if she could please have one of the therapist see me without an appointmen. Thank God for Jesus, and all his buddies. Cause I woulda been so upset to have gone all that way for nothing.!! I really wish folx would stop trying to talk to me while I'm asleep. They know my bread aint done, and ion have sense enuff to not answer the phone when I'm asleep, yet my comprehension level is next to -1.

I guess they dont think I'm Psycho!!!

Nov 01, 2007

I attended my third and final psychological goup eval tonight. They will be sending in the clearance to the surgeon, as well as to myself in the very near future. Thats wonderful. However on a more depressing note...My P.C.P's office staff called me today saying that they had called in a Rx for me, because my bloodwork came back positive for H.Pilori. Now the awful part is that they called while I was asleep, therefore I wasnt cohearent at all. I took the info and went back to sleep. By the time I woke up, I was like what the hell was that about? From the little research I've done, its a bacteria in your digestive tract. That cant be good. Also to my understanding, its treated with a series of anti-biotics that takes about 8 weeks to clear up. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

I'm really praying that this dosent delay getting my date, or slowing down the process in any way. I'm gonna call the surgeon this morning to see what he has to say. I swear, you can always tell when God is working with ya......thats when the devil is at his busiest!!!  Yall pray this out for me.

Hey.....how could I foget.

Oct 29, 2007

How could this have slipped my mind? I forgot to announce that I've on my own lost a total of 11 pounds since my last appointment at the begining of september  ....so roughly 2 months ago. Its not a ton, but 11 pounds lost, is still 11 pounds lost.  I'll take it! Or should I say, they can have it!!!

Moving closer, and closer to a brighter tomorrow.

Oct 29, 2007

Ok,  so I had two appointments today. The first one was with the nutritionist. She really answered some really important questions for me. I now understand the great importantce of going trough all these time consuming, agonizing appointments. They really do prepare you to succseed in your "new" life. I listened to her for about an hour, gained some much needed insight on nutrition.  I went to lunch trying to be very mindful as to what I ate considering the only place to eat near by was a Mc Donalds. I did well to say the least. I had the 6 chicken nuggets minus the breading, and a gestured at the diet coke...(remember my blog about my love affair with Pepsi? its the opposite with coke and or diet coke) but opted for the Ice cold water. Suprisingly I was very satisfied. Even without my second love next to pepsi.....those FRIES!!! I'm proud of me.  Afterwards I went back into the medical building for my next appointment, with this time with My surgeon. Not much different from the first appointment other than the fact that this time they took measurements of my neck, waist, hips, and the cirrcumfrence of my thigh. It made me feel like things are finally happening. I've my next appointment with him on the 29th of November. By then they will be submitting the final paperowrk for approval. I pray all goes well. If nothing else I've lived by in this life, and thats a saying an old teacher taught me. " If I'm gonna pray, then why worry? But if I'm gonna worry, then why pray. I'm gonna pray on it with all the specifics in order...and then drop it in his lap, walk away and leave it there. Until next time family.....keep me in your prayers, and you know I'll do the same!!! B.T.W Congrats to all the new OH family members who've successfully made it over to the loosers bench recently. Remember, its only a tool. It works, so work it, cause you're worth it!!!

More bonding

Oct 25, 2007

Had my second psych group meeting last night.  I gave report on how I did during the week with my "Less Pepsi commitment" I did very well for a woman who usually drinks 4 sometimes 5 pepsi pops a day. I droped down to a mere 2...some days just 1. Other than that at this point I'm just really ready for it to all be over, I'm hearing the same thing over and over. If someone isnt telling me something I already know, I read it. I'm not saying there can ever be an over abundance of info/knowledge when it comes to this tool. I'm just tired of talking.....brang on the cutting!! SMOOCHES YALL!!!

Bonded with others like me last night!!

Oct 19, 2007

Last night I went to the first of three sequential psych group meetings. It was really intresting to hear some of the different reasons people think they've gaind the weight they have. We all introduced ourselves, and expressed what were the some of the major factors in our excessive weight gain. Also the reasons why we've now chosen this route to lose it.  By the end of the 1 hour session I'd come to the confirming realization that I my friend am an "emotional eater". We all made promises to the "shrink" and more inportantly to our selves one thing we would work on this week. Something that we would do, or not do to prepare ourselves, my commitment is basically cutting my head off. I vowed to decrease, eventually cut out the 3-4 Pepsi sodas I drink per day, down to only 1. OMG....I think I'm gonna roll ova and croak. That stuff is like a real drug. I'm  not talkin about the stuff they legally give you at walgreens. Im talking like the stuff some grundgy mongrol in a dark ally, behind a dumpster gives you. That coca cola stuff ...pure childs play...but that Pepsi...BOY-O-BOY, Liquid crack, and I'm an addict. I work nights(11p-7a) therfore my days are turned upside down. I did pretty well at work last night...I only had 2. I'm gonna see what tonigh brings. Pray for my strength. As a matter of fact pray twice. As I'll keep you all in my prayers.

THE JOURNEY TO MENTAL HOUSEKEEPING BEGINS!!!

Oct 02, 2007

There will come a time in your life when all you can do is love. You will have done all you can do, tried all you can try, hurt all you can hurt, given up so many times that love will be the only way in or out. That day will surely come. Just as sure as you are reading this page. In the meantime, here are a few things you can do to get ready for the most joyous day of your life: the day you experience true love.  

You know where you want to be, but you have no clue how to get there. You know exactly what you want in life, but what you want is nowhere in sight. Perhaps your vision is unclear, your purpose still undefined. On top of it all, your relationships, particularly your romantic relationships, are failing. If these scenarios feel familiar way down in the deepest part of your gut -- then you, my dear, are smack dab in the middle of the meantime.

Your mother, bless her heart, and your father, with all of his good intentions, did not prepare you for the meantime. They did not because they could not. No one can prepare you or help you find what you are looking for. What you need is love, not romance. Love, not more money. Love, not a new car. Love is the only thing that can make the meantime worthwhile. Once you find love, true self-love, and unconditional love for everyone all the time, things will look, feel, and be a lot better. The question is: What do you do in the meantime?

Every living being wants to experience the light of love. The problem is that our windows are dirty! The windows of our hearts and minds are streaked with past pains and hurts, past memories and disappointments. The windows are so clouded by fear, self-doubt, and inaccurate information that the light of love cannot shine through. In the meantime, we keep looking through the foggy window, trying to convince ourselves that what we see is the real thing. It's not, and we know it, but we can't seem to figure out what to do until the real thing comes along. What we must do is clean. We must clean the windows, floors, walls, closets, and corners of our mind. We must mop and sweep away the stuff that trips us up, keeps us confused, and makes the meantime miserable. I'm doing what been refered to as,mental housekeeping.  If we do a good job of it, the light will come through. Once that happens, our spirits will shine, bringing in the light of true love and happiness.
-Iyanla Vanzant

I've got 396 problems,he is #397,time 2 drop the dead weight.

Oct 02, 2007

I'm in this relationship....I guess you can call it that. We've been on again, off again for a little more than 5 years now. At one time during the course of this "relationship" my feelings for this individual went off the ricter scale. My every thought, my every move depended on how "K" felt, or what "K" wanted. Within the past 8-10 months my feelings have changed. Changed in a way that leaves me with an "I could care less attitude". Right now my every thought is about a "better" me. Living a healthier life. Loving me more. I no longer have the time nor energy I once had to dish out to others. If the way I'm feeling comes off as selfish in any way possible, please forgive me. I just need some me time. I'm learning to love me. If it sounds like "its all about me"....thats because it is. The end of this year is the begining of my new life. I've always loved xtra hard, and given wayyyy too much of myself to others, now its time for me to give to me. I've always been the one who trys extra hard to maintain any relationship im in, simply because I thought that I was lucky that someone could love me. When in actuality they only loved them selves. I thought that me being "fat", I was lucky to have them. Not any more. I've come to the conclusion...If I'm the only person in the world(besides my mommy and God) who loves me till the day I die, thats all the love I'll ever need.  I have reached a time in my life that we all come to at one point or another..its called THE MEANTIME!

My BFF has crossed over to the loosing side. Cant wait to meet

Sep 22, 2007

My BFF returned from Columbia last tonight. I've felt bad bad all day eating in her presence, as she has only eaten a baby spoon full of sugar free jello, and a baby spoon full of sugar free yogurt..accompanied by 1oz of water every 10 minutes. To be honest I cant wait to go through that agonizing stage of healing. It only means great things are ahead. Everyone keeps emphasizing the fact that when I have my WLS it'll be Christmas time and I wont be able to enjoy the holidays. Frankly my dears.....I could care less. I'll give up the next 20 Christmas dinners, candies and cokes if it means living a healthier, not to mention hapier life. 
Pray for my strength, as I'll continue to do for you all'.

Feeling very Blue!!!

Sep 21, 2007

I went to my primary care physician today. I've been having some major pain in my lower extremities(left leg), to which I've self diagnoised before going and after....(considering she had no clue) to be your typical "Fat Pains".  However as of late the pain has been accompanied by swelling in my left, as well as my right ankle. When I got on the scale today much...not to my surprise I've gained a few more pounds. Imagine how very depressed that made me. This further proved to me that I am an emotional eater. That "much needed" feast at the buffett was awful. I didnt even want that food.  This whole thing is a struggle. Being fat, is a struggle.....trying to get it off is an even bigger struggle. Which is worse I'm not sure. Pray for my strength....as I will keep you all in my prayers.
About Me
Miami, FL
Location
65.7
BMI
RNY
Surgery
01/23/2008
Surgery Date
Jan 19, 2005
Member Since
Friends 283
Latest Blog 23
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I'm home......and not in the pain I was in, Thank u JESUS!!!
I'm officially on a countdown!!!!
The message from heaven!!!
Santa showed up a little early for me this year.
Its tentative....but until Aetna says otherwise... its set!!!
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