Michelle B.

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Well, not the visit I was expecting. She was stunned to see me and how I’ve changed since January. She asked all about me, how I was doing. told her how I wish the weight loss was more proportioned (legs in particular) and she proceeded to say how they have gone down dramatically... I may not see it, but they have drastically gone down; in any event, she dropped the word “lymphadema”... saying, you do have some lymphedema down there... that sent me into a tailspin. Just hearing the word. I was like, that’s what I have? You never said that to me before? She went on for nearly an hour that it’s not the stage of lymphedema that I read about – that it’s regressing – and she’s always put down in my charts and insurance paperwork that I’ve had that. She said my legs will go down but the lymph nodes are so stressed due to the years of weight on them, they will never go down to Barbie size, but I will be able to wear dresses, capris, etc... (she was saying all this to make me feel better because I couldn’t compose myself). She went on to say that people who are pregnant and get swollen legs, that is called lymphedema, too; there are just different degrees and mine is not at such a degree where I, # 1, need to go to a specialist, # 2, will not need that debulking surgery.

I just heard that word and that’s all I can think about now and can't stop with the waterworks.

In any event, she said all my #’s look phenomenal. She commented on how good my face looks and she would have thought I would have lots of wrinkles due to the loss, and is amazed at how young my face looks. She said don’t take the fish oil, we don’t need it, and it will cause indigestion and you’ll be burping up a fish taste/smell. She said my hair is thin, but not so noticeable as I think it is, and that it will grow back – like everyone else keeps telling me; but I just cant stand this stage of where I am right now.

So lastnight my mom said, oh come on, let's go to that other store you mentioned.  I was so discouraged after my Fashion Bug trip, I didn't want to; but then at the last minute, I was like, oh well, let's go.
WELL!!!!  They had a lot of stuff for me to try on!  I went around the whole store and just grabbed every single blouse in my size no matter what it looked like, just so I could try it on!  There were 2 that I loved and looked so nice on and felt great in; then there was a 3rd, that fit, but I wasn't thrilled with, and didn't feel great in- I was almost going to get it, just because it fit, then I stopped, and told myself, No, I am no longer just going to buy clothes because they fit.. .I've done that my whole life... I want to buy things I feel good and look good in!  There were a few shirts I really liked, but were too clingy around my belly, and I am sure in a few months they will fit nice, but I also do not want to buy things I have to wait to fit into.  So I am thrilled that I atleast got 2 new shirts! and 2 new bras! they actually had bras to fit ME!!  And they really lifted up my boobs and the straps aren't sliding down!  I am still a B-cup, but I went from a size 58B to a 52B!!!  Funny, the lady took my measurements and determined I was a 48D... I was like, D, are you crazy, I am not filling a D.. she said, oh, yes, the fat underneath will push into the cup!  Oh, what a joke that was!  the cups were up to my neck, and EMPTY!  
Funny, as heavy as I was - I've never had big boobs - and now that I'm losing weight, my boobs are getting smaller and smaller!!  

But I am so happy I found some new clothes - just needed this boost in the worst way!!!!!

Saturday I went to Fashion Bug w/my mom.  I just thought I'd see if I've lost enough weight yet to actually be able to shop in a store again - I haven't shopped in a retail store for about 15 years - I've had to buy all my clothes online.  
Well, I was happy at the fact that they had stuff I could atleast try on - their largest size - but everything was so clingy and just laid on my belly and really accentuated it, looked awful.  My mom kept saying, Oh my Michelle, pretty soon, pretty soon...  
But not soon enough for me!  I was very disappointed; I just thought if I could walk out of there with 1 new shirt, I'd feel so good.  But, I did walk out of there with a cute fashionable 'normal size' bracelet!  I'm not much of a jewelry person, but it fit, and I had to get it!

On Saturday a friend had me try on her bracelet... and it fit!! a normal 7" bracelet actually fit my wrist!!!

I am down 103.2 pounds!!!!!!!!

Dr. called me this morning with the results of my emg from 2 WEEKS AGO!  I have a pinched nerve by my elbow, and carpal tunnel.  I just don't understand why it waited to show up after 20 years, when I was home on recovery, and NOT working.  It's on my right side, ofcourse.  Have to get a Futuro Splint, whatever that is, and wear it nightly, to bed, and whenever I'm writing or typing (hello! that's every day!).  If in 3 weeks I see no relief, they're going to talk about option 2, who knows what that is, but I can tell you, it won't be any type of surgery, that's for sure!

Started noticing just a tiny bit more hair in my hands in the shower last week.  But now this week, I can totally see a difference in my hair - I can see my scalp, all in the front ofcourse, and it's really really noticeable how thin it has gotten, so fast.  My hair is losing life, too, it is thin, not much body.  I'm so upset and it's been bringing me so down.  I have been getting in all my protein and vitamins.  I hope it does not get worse before it gets better

Today was my EMG for my possible pinch nerve in my right arm.  I was so scared, but it was not painful at all.  Everyone told me how bad it was, and I'm the biggest chicken in the world, and let me tell you, it was cake!
My fingers are a bit more numb and a little more pain than before, but the emg probably just aggravated the condition.  Have to wait a few days for the results.  Not sure how the relieve a pinch nerve, but it's making me nervous that I've been numb non-stop for 2 weeks now, that can't be a good sign.

I actually did it - I actually put on a pair of shorts (old pants I cut the legs off of!) and a tank top, and got in the pool at the gym!  I never thought I'd actually have the gutts to do it, but I did, and after about 5 seconds, all my worries went away, about being in front of other people, etc.  and I absolutely loved it!!  I can't wait to go back again!  I did an hour-and-a-half aqua aerobic excercise program with the guidance of my cousin Maria, and it was awesome!  I am so looking forward to going back on Tuesday!  Today was a major WOW moment for me - WOW, because a few months ago, I never would have had the courage to go in a public pool!

I am down 79.8 pounds at 3 months!!  This is the 1^st time I am so excited!  I might meet my personal goal of 100 down in 4 months!

 

 

Dr. Kirkland shook my hand, said "I have nothing to say to you, you are doing what you are supposed to be doing, you're doing great and right where you should be.... see you in 6 months".  YIPPEE!!!!

I am on top of the world today!!