Nervous!

Aug 16, 2009

Tomorrow is my big day and it seems so surreal.  I always thought that I could manage my weight myself, but here I sit, about to change my life forever.  I'm a big cook, I love good friends and good times with good food.  All that is going to have to change now, which makes me sad, and doubt myself on my decision.  It's a major surgery - any surgery is, actually- but to me, it's more of an elective surgery which makes me wonder what the hell I'm doing.  Then I start to rationalize, it's not actually elective - it's 'do the surgery or just get fatter, and more unhealthy'.  Life or death, when I come back to reality I realize I'm choosing life.

I'm not at all as nervous as I thought I'd be, (although, I am still INCREDIBLY nervous) until I have some downtime and remember what I'm really here in Puerto Vallarta tomorrow.  The I just want to vomit I get so freaked out.  

On the other hand :) the hotel is absolutely fabulous, by the way.  I'll post pics when I have some time.

It's off to the hospital tomorrow morning at 8am to meet the surgeon's assistant and get checked in, so I'm guessing that I'll be out of surgery by early afternoon.  Wish me luck!!

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