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I have hit the point of pissed off.  I am POd because I can't eat... I can't have a drink.... I can't sit with my family during dinner... And because I cook the dinner and most of it I can't have.  So, I know that some, if not all, of these things are under my control .... But none of it stops me from being POd.  I want to be cleared to eat something other than soup, broth, jello, and damned cream of wheat... It use to be my favorite NOW I wanna throw the box away.  My taste buds are changing everyday, which makes it harder to eat.  I am not the person that weighs them self each and every day, but the last time I got on a scale... I had only lost a half of a pound.  The space where my port is located is right under my damn boob and hurts because my boobs and bra are always pressing on it. My family keeps asking me to make a cake for them so they can have it... *blank stare*   Sometimes I feel like I am going to mess up my surgery and end up never being able to loose this weight.  I just want my life back or a better understanding of whats going to happen next!   My belly looks bloated as hell, which frustrates me! 

I have been having tenderness in my belly, near the port location and in mid chest area.  Its really starting to push my nerves because I hate discomfort.  Is this normal?  Has anyone else experienced this?  What causes this?

Well, the surgery went well last Friday.  I was up and walking that day.  There is so much information that is given while you are in a daze, it's crazy!  Somethings should be said before I am in la-la land and the world looks like a kaleidoscope.  I was checked in about 5:30 am and wheeled off a little after 7 am.  I don't know what time I woke up or the time I was finally released. 

At home the next day, I could only get down 1/4 cup is broth and about 1/4 a container of jello.  Drinking 64 oz is not really an easy thing to do, but I am working at it.  So far I am up to 48 or more ounces now.  The keys is to trick yourself on the amount.

My doctor let me go to stage two of the diet.  I just have to make sure everything is extra thinned out, since it only one week after surgery.  I started walking outside for the first time.  I do it twice a day: early morning and after dinner.  My after dinner walk is up and down my drive way... it has a great incline.

On 9/15 I weighed 307 lbs... 9/21 I was 297.... 9/30 I am down to 288.  Under 300 and feeling good about it.

Signing off!

I am having my surgery tomorrow.  I am worried about how my family will function while I am healing.  I have heard that contractions hurt more than the surgery pain.  I had my gall bladder removed years ago, and if it feels like that... I may be back to work on Monday...LOL!  I have had a C-Section, I hope the pain for healing is not as bad as that was. I know my husband will need a vacation by the end of the weekend dealing with the little ones, but he can do it!  I can tell a difference in my face and belly that I have lost some pre-op weight.  I never did take my pre-op pictures.  Well, OH see you on the other side... the post-op side.

I almost forgot the best part... I am down to 297.  It has been months since I saw under 300...

Went to the hospital today to register for my surgery on Friday.  It went pretty well!  I keep things this is all too good to be true right now, and something is going to happen to delay it.  But I know I have to think positive because negative thinking yields negative results.  Blood work, chest x-ray, both done today.  I get a pulmonary function test done annually through work so mark a check there too. 

Getting excited and scared all rolled up into a ball that makes me.  Taking my Pre-op pictures tonight... can't wait...!

I guess I'll post for those that actually read this after I feel better and recover some. 

P.S.  The diet has gotten so good/bad, that eating actual food makes me sick (good...bad... depends on how you look at it!).  I bought a rotisserie chicken from the local store for dinner... I ended up just drinking a protein shake and eating some jello.  I had gotten to the point where I was not intaking any carbs, except the ones that are canceled out in the protein shakes, I started getting a little loopy.  Have either of these issues come up with anyone else?

So, I am one week pre-op... The closer it gets the move crazy things seem.  I did find my new best friend...EAS Myoplex Cookies-n-cream drinks (just not early in the morning).  They actually tastes like the ice cream, so now I can have one pleasure.  They say not to freeze, but I know what I'll be doing this weekend. And the Jay Robb pina colada is another new friend of mine.

I have to share this because it opened my eyes to how ready I may just be fore this journey:  before I got the call saying I was approved, I did my usual candy run for my candy stash.  Well, after I got the call I had maybe two days before the diet started, so candy had to be put away.  Yesterday a co-worker was raiding the candy jar... I let him know I had some bars at my desks.  When he came back to get them...I handed him the WHOLE BAG.  I guess this was my way of letting go of my old way of life, and moving into my new one.  *high five*

This weekend I am taking the dreaded before pictures...Good thing I'm really cute...LOL!