3+ weeks prior to surgery

Sep 04, 2011

I have a little over 3 weeks before I will have my surgery.  I am looking forward to it, but also very apprehensive.  I am concerned about the what ifs....not about the actual surgery, but about the outcome.  What if....it doesn't work?  What if.....I can't stay on the doctors plan?  So very many what ifs I can't even put them all on here. 

Why is it that I can't lose the weight on my own?  How hard have I tried?  Did I try hard enough?  
I know the answer to some....yes, I tried....and I lost some, and then I gained it back plus some.  

Looking forward....what will my life be like?  How will it be when I go out to dinner with people?  I can't hardly eat any food....will that be bothersome?  I'm sure I'll get used to it, like anything.  Now I need to look at the positives.
I will have lost weight, and will be able to go out and do the things that I am too tired, and in pain to do now.  I think of all the things that I avoid because my back is killing me, or my feet.  I am looking forward to being able to just go and do it....IT being whatever I want to do.  

I am also looking forward to not feeling like I am an embarrassment to my children, or the man I am with.  They don't make me feel that way.  I do it all on my own.
You know what they say....you are your own worst enemy.

I am doing small things to get ready for surgery.  I am eating smaller portions, I've ordered different types of protein powder for my pre op and post op diet.  I am taking vitamins, although I still have many I have to get. I have quit drinking soda, mostly drink water with 0 calorie flavoring, or unsweetened ice tea.  That is a huge change.  I used to drink soda non stop.  

I am looking ahead...forward....

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