wanting ps cant afford ps.

Feb 19, 2012

Well, i have been wanting my ps for about a two years now, i was working untill feb 2011. And when i was working and had not become a mother got prego oct 2010 had baby july 2011. I could have had the ps done. I had the money in my retirement to do it with. andi could have went out of the country (mexico) to get it done. But i kept putting it off due to what people would say when i had the plastic surgery done. I was feeling ashamed for wanting to be my best. to look my best. i was feeling as if i was being very vain and should be happy with how i looked currently. I would look at clothes and pants and just feel bad. Phrases like these kept creeping up in my mind. " I am only in a size 14 cause of the over hang of skin and residual fat that was left. I am only in an 1x or xl or 2x due to the fact that i dont like my shirts to cling and show my fat rolls and left over skin. I was happy but sad at the same time. i wanted to be sexier.. I wanted to rock high heels on court days and show off a new trim curvy physique. I wanted fat grafting to my derrier due to i lost it all when i had the wls. And i wanted to be able to show it off. Is this wrong of me wanting to finally feel pretty and beautiful something i didnt feel all through out highschool and college? The regret of being able to do the ps and not getting it done when i had the money ( had to use retirment to live off and for medical for baby untill she got here.) Any Suggestions? Open to constructive criticism.

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