spiritofjulia

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I hit 199 today.  I can't believe it.  I cried for 30 minutes in the
shower.  I am so happy I can't explain it!

I have to appologize because I have not posted on OH nor have I really updated my profile in too long.  I guess I don't spend as much time on the computer as I used to.

Here is my update....As of yesterday I am down 110 pounds.  This is amazing!  Its so great to see people who I haven't seen for a long time and have them comment on how great I look!  I love this! 

I am going to be honest about something though.  Every time I lose a pound a part of me feels like I don't deserve it because of all of the bad habits I have developped.  My eating pattern is not great - but still, I eat a lot less than I used to.  I have started to push the limits of my pouch with higher fat/sugar foods which usually results in a sore tummy.  I've learned just how much chips or chocolate I can eat before I dump.  I guess I have to be positive though - I really do eat less than I did before my surgery.  ON one hand - yes - there is always a bag of M&Ms in my desk at work.  On the other hand - usually it is there for at least 5 days before it is finished!  

I am still single and I am really excited to meet a wonderful man soon...so if you have any hot single male friends - LET ME KNOW!  I know that the great guy for me will come along when I least expect it...I'm just eager to be in a relationship that is going some where.  I know that you single girls can relate.

I haven't been drinking enough water and I am really making an effort in this category because my loose skin on my sides, tummy and legs is dry and ITCHY!  I am trying to moisturize but it seems always itchy.  I know I need to drink more water.  

Other than that, work is going wonderful.  I love my job at CDI and I really feel like I'm in a great place in my life.  I feel like in general, I'm a much happier and more productive person than I was 7-8 months ago before my surgery.  This is WONDERFUL!  I have gone to the Milton and Niagara meetings pretty religiously and though I don't post as much on OH anymore, I feel like I have such great support from you guys!!!

I DID IT!  I'm down 100 pounds and shrinking!! YAY!  I can't believe it.   I feel like I've come so far!  What a difference 100 pounds makes.  I still have a long way to go to my goal ... but this is a significant achievement for me!!!

With one more pound lost I will have lost 100lbs.  I didn't quite make it for January 1st but that's OK...I was on a plateau for a few weeks there!

I am noticing a difference in my body and in my clothes!  The skin on my stomach is getting loose but I don' t care!  Under my clothes it is hidden and eventually, I will have a tummy tuck to repair it and make sure that I look super healthy!

Work is going well and I am travelling to Dallas, TX tomorrow for the weekend for a mini-conference.  I am really looking forward to it!

So Christmas has been hard on my weight loss.

I haven't gained anything but I've stopped losing and I think its all of the sugar I am eating.  It is so hard to pass up all of this food that's around - at home, at the office...URGH.

I think that I am going to join a GOODLIFE fitness club today.  My cousin Sarah has recently moved to Burlington, so we could go together one night a week and then I could go a few times on my own.  I don't know....

How is everyone else doing over Christmas?  Maybe I'm just making a mountain out of a mole hill - but I am discouraged and definately want to get back on track!  I didn't alter my body permanently just so I could get junk food!!!

Hopefully my next post will be more enlightening!

I am well on my way to a 100 pound weight loss by January 1st.  Only 7 more pounds to go!  AND I seem to have come off of my plateau and have lost 4 pounds since this weekend alone!

Work is going well - I've settled in at CDI and am learning how to do things.  I still feel like a chicken with its head cut of but that's how I like it!!  I went to a family wedding last weekend - my cousin Bridgette.  She looked absolutely beautiful and it was a gorgeous wedding.  I felt great with my new slimmer figure.

I am just over half-way to my goal of 140lbs.  I have spent too much $$ on clothes that should be going towards debt - but that's OK.  It feels great to buy clothes.  I am just about in an XL and have already bought some clothes at the "normal" size section of the department store.  It won't be long before I'm shopping at the Gap!  Who even knows what my style will be - its been so limited by plus sized selection for so long.

Today is the CDI graduation and its going to be a long and busy day.  I have to take an hour or so out of it to go and see Denise - my Dietician.  I always dread seeing her as she is so grumpy but I do want to make sure that my bloodwork is OK.  Its been 3 months or so since my last bloodwork so its about time to check it.

OH and another thing - my cravings have become mad lately.  I've been craving junk food like crazy.  I try just to eat a little bit of something when the cravings become really bad.  I wonder if this has anything to do with my starting to drink diet coke again (BAD GIRL JULIA).  I just have to be careful that all my bad habits don't show up again!!  Keep an eye on me!

THE GALA WAS INCREDIBLE!!!

What a great night.  The dinner was fantastic, and the music and the dancing - AND the sugar free goodies for dessert.  This is the first time I've gone out to an event where food was involved and haven't ended up with a tummy ache!

I had an amazing time.  It was great to see all of you there.

Today I went to Lane Bryant to do some shopping because I had $100 worth of coupons if I spent $200.  Anyway, the exciting news is that I'm now a size 14/16 on the top and 18 on the bottom!!!!  This is so incredible.  I'm almost in 'regular' stores.  I can't wait !

My hair continues to fall out.  I've started taking a product called Shen Min.  It was $40 for a 30 day supply at the health food store.  I hope it helps.  It has only been 1 week but I'll keep you posted.  My hair falls out like crazy still and its so thin!!!  I do my protein religiously but its starting to worry me.  Oh well - like I've said, a small price to pay for the happiness I feel.  I feel so happy when I look at myself in the Gala pics.  I really feel like I've lost so much and look so much better!!!  I am so happy!

What a great week I've had!  I started my new job ast Director of Education for CDI College this week.  I got right into it and by yesterday (Friday) I was so busy.  I feel like I have a new challenge which was exactly what I was hoping for!!!

My weight loss seems slower these days - I am down 85lbs.  I don't know if I'm going to make my goal of being -100 by the new year.  Let's hope!  I do, however, see a huge difference in myself even though I haven't lost a lot according to the scale.  My clothes are definately fitting better!  I am really starting to lose in my tummy (where the bulk of my weight is).  Its funny - the fat on my tummy is so lumpy.  Its like my body is eating away at it...but it doesn't happen evenly.  I guess this is why people sometimes get lipo with a tummy tuck - because there are these little marble-shaped fat pockets :)  I hope they all go away - I just have to be patient.

I am feeling so confident these days.  I am very confident at work and almost fearless.  A big part of my job is to meet with students to discuss their concerns.  Even the other day a student was yelling and I didn't get upset.  I think that I would have been upset about this before because I avoided conflict like the plague!

I also went to see WICKED wtih my mom and sister this past week.  What a great play!!!  We had a great time.  We went out to dinner first and I had a salad with grilled veggies in it and chicken on top.  The chicken was SO yummy and tender...but even with the dressing on the side it made me dump.  I think that next time I'll just stick to olive oil and vinegar!  This dressing must have had a lot of sugar in it!  I tend to dump a lot on sugars - and MILK ...urg - and did you know that there is lactose in SO many things!!??  Read the labels - you'll be amazed.  I am very careful what I eat at work and I usually have the same thing each day for lunch.  A NILE dish (its kind of like cup a soup - the just add water - but you find it in the health food aisle of Loblaws) - lentil couscous curry flavor, a nestea zero (0 calories and no carbination!) and a package of thinsations cookies.  Sometimes I'll have a 1/2 of a roll or a fruit too but not usually. 

I have a lot to share this week! 

First off - I finally got everything finalized with CDI and have accepted the position.  I will be starting my new job on November 13th.  I have given my notice at Sylvan and that feels good.  I really feel excited for a new challenge.  Of course it will be hard to say goodbye to Sylvan but I will manage.

I have hit a plateau with my weight loss.  I really haven't lost anything in about a week.  I am not worried, I am just continuing to eat what I can and do my protein every day.  I know that I need to start a fitness routine soon.  I am thinking that I might take up Tae Kwon Doe.  I hear it is a lot of fun and not as strenuous as many other activities.  I once took a Bellydancing class that I really enjoyed too.  I want to get active doing things that I enjoy.  This will be my goal as I transition into my new job and have more of a 9-5 Monday-Friday schedule! 

The Milton meeting yesterday was quite fun!  I really had a great time seeing everyone.  It was great to meet Karen M and Karen G and Karen A and Debbie from Orangeville for the first time after chatting so much online!  I almost didn't make it to the meeting but I am so glad that I did.

Thanks also to Stef for helping me add my ticker to my new profile.  Now I am very excited with it!!!  YAY! 

Well I've done it!  I have finally converted my profile to the new format.  I really do like it except for the fact that I can't have my weight loss counter anymore - now I actually have to do the subtraction myself!  I went to Buffalo yesterday to buy a dress for a few upcoming formal occasions: my cousin Sarah is getting married, my other cousin Bridgette is getting married and of course the OH GALA that I am so excited about.  I went to Lane Bryant and wouldn't you know I bought a dress in size 18!  It was so exciting not being the largest woman in the store anymore.  I remember when the largest size was tight on me. 

Physically, I am feeling better.  I think the mono is still here but is going away slowly.  I was very careful and took some time off work, rested, etc. and finally the pain in my side (swollen spleen) is gone!  YAY!  Knock on wood, I'm feeling a lot better than I was and I just hope it stays this way.  I have lost 80 pounds today and that feels great!  Just 20 more to go and I will have lost 100 pounds.  To me, this is a huge goal!  I can't wait to say I've lost 100 pounds!  I must be honest and admit that I'm still not working out.  I am getting less lazy though which I guess is a start.  I know that the weight loss will slow down and I'll start having to work out - but honestly I'm not excited about it.  I have no desire to join a gym and work out (I guess just all the bad experiences in the past) but hopefully I will change my mind.  I am LOSING a TON of hair.  This is really scary and I don't like it at all.  I hope it stops soon.  I haven't taken biotin or anything and perhaps I should - but I honestly think its just from the shock to my system of losing 80 pounds in 4 months.

I must admit that I know that breaking up with Jay was the right thing to do - but it is difficult to find myself suddenly single.  I no longer have plans every weekend.  I feel like I'm really ready to meet the right guy for me - but I guess he'll come along when I least expect it.  In the meantime, I will just focus on building friendships and my faith life and eating healthy.  I find it hard to get enough food in during the day.  I always do my protein shake for breakfast, but often skip lunch or dinner.  This is a terrible habit and honestly its just due to my lack of planning and packing lunch.  I am really setting a goal to get into the habit of trying new recipes and cooking healthy meals.  I've found a lot of alternatives to milk which is exciting!!!  I even have SOY ice-cream sandwiches in the freezer now - YUM!  They are not too bad on the sugar content but certainly not sugar free -so I hope I don't dump!

I am hoping that this week everything will be finalized with CDI - apparently they will have the offer ready for Tuesday - so cross your fingers for me!  That's about it for now.  I have my cousin Sarah's wedding this coming Friday - so I'll be sure to take pics and post them in the photos section after!!!