squirrellee69

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Well tomorrow is my surgery day!!! I am as mentally ready as I can be. I really did a lot of soul searching to get to this point.

Well I went through my pantry and got rid of all the things that tempt me and that I won't be eating for a while. Hubby was looking over my shoulder asking me if I was sure I wanted to get rid of some things. Turned out to be a blessing in disguise as my neighbors were out of money for grocery's and they could use all most all of it. Feeling good.

Well, here is where the rubber meets the road so to speak. I have been doing a lot of soul searching to make sure that I am totally committed to the change. Battling a food addiction and trying to break the bond with food has sent my emotions all over the place. I can honestly say that I HATE change of any kind. I feel so much better when I can control the things around me and look where it has gotten me. I have made it impossible for my husband to comment on my food addiction or weight without putting the fear of God in him that I just might actually knock his head off for real. So, I think this time I can honestly say, I HAVE to change. I am tired of being invisible or wishing to be invisible given the situation. I am tired of not feeling good and carrying all this extra weight and emotions around.  I am tired of being told "you are such a pretty girl BUT you would be a knockout if you lost weight". I am so sick and tired of the "BUT". That single word negates everything they say before it!!! Anyhoo, this is a small glimpse into my emotional roller coaster as I prepare for this fast and surgery.