The Stereotype and Prejudice piss me off!

Apr 26, 2014

(Steps onto the soapbox)...All fat people are not lazy, unmotivated, stupid, weak, unable to or unwilling to work just as hard and their thinner coworkers! It continues to amaze me how much it seems to annoy certain people in the management where I work that I do not conform to their prejudiced views on how a fat employee should behave. How dare I be a confident fat person? I'll tell you how. Because fat or thin, it doesn't change who I am on the inside! When I first started working for my company, I was about 70 lbs lighter and tho still heavy, I was much more fit and muscular. I have a very physical job and am only one of two women who do it. I was also putting me health at great risk by taking an ephedra based supplement 3 times a day and eating just one sandwich a day! I was a hard working highly motivated employee and highly respected. We had a layoff and being low seniority, I was cut. 2 years later I was asked to come back and I happily did. I was 60 lbs heavier but still hard working and highly motivated but treated MUCH differently. So what changed? My weight, that's it. I'm not taken seriously, if I have an ache or a pain from the physical demands of my job, it MUST be because I'm fat or perhaps because I'm a fat woman. Certainly not because i'm working so hard. Never mind all the men who have issues with pain, they're just getting old and it's to be expected, or so i'm told. Now it's true, my weight is starting to cause problems for me at work...I stress the "FOR ME" part. That's why I've decided to go ahead with this WLS process. My integrity will not allow me to give less than 100% at my job even if it means coming home and eating Advil like candy. Integrity is not measured by or equal to the size of a person!!! My work ethic has NOT been altered by my weight gain through the years, only managements ability to see it through their prejudiced eyes. So looking forward to all the challenges I will face after surgery what will be the hardest you ask? Sticking to the eating program? Nope...exercising and weight training? Nope, looking forward to getting some muscle back....Identity crisis and self image conflicts? Nope, I have fatorexia which to me means I look in a mirror and I don't recognize the fat girl looking back because I don't see myself as fat in my mind or actions....The biggest challenge i'll face is figuring out how to lose the large chip on my shoulder when dealing with the changes in how i'll be treated by people simply because I lost weight. All sarcasm aside, this is a very real concern for me. And one i'll be addressing with my Psychologist at our first meeting. I have never had patience or much tolerance for bigotry especially when it deals with outward appearances. My weight up or down has never had much effect on my self confidence, it's my physical limitations that are wearing on my self respect. I am my own worst critic. I am so tired of the smug patronizing attitudes of people who are no better than me just because they wear a smaller sized pair of pants. Yes, I will be the "bigger" person. I will smile, do my job with the same hard working attitude that good upbringing installed in me and be grateful everyday that i'm able. But know this, I will always recognize sincerity and i'm not now nor have I ever been desperate for unanimous acceptance. In the end, the only opinion about me that really matters is my own. The wrapping may change, but whats inside will be the same so God help me find the strength to kindly deal with shallow people and false platitudes~ Amen...(Steps off the soapbox)

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