Mary A.

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I am going insane. I have been having a sweet craving and just dont know what to do. I am hoping to find something healthy to help with the craving. I just wish that I could learn to have more controll over my cravings then what I do. I want to win this battle against my weight and at least make it to 180lbs if not more then that. I just feel like im always having to battle over it though. I am hoping that things will get better because I have a new shift starting next week. I will work till 8pm on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. I am hoping that since I will be busy and not home so much that I will finally start getting somewhere with my weight loss. Well I have my fingers crossed anyways. I just had to get all of this off my chest because it has been driving me insane.

I didn't do so great this weekend on my diet. I didn't do to bad but on Saturday I went to a wedding. I was proud of myself for not tasting the wedding cake. After the wedding and reception the bride and groom had a party for their close family and friends. Well the groom is my husbands cousin so we went and had a great time and I ended up drinking a few strawberry daquris and so I didn't lose any weight but thankfully didn't gain but an ounce or 2. I am back on track. We are not big drinkers but it felt good to celebrate with friends and family since we didnt have anyone at our wedding our have a reception. The bride was so beautiful and the groom couldn't stop smiling. Their 9month old son was pulled by a flower girl in a wagon and he just smiled the entire time.We also stayed with my husbands dad and step-mom and I love them so much. They are so sweet. I am lucky to have them for in-laws. This weekend was amazing! I am so excited that I did lose weight last week and not back where I was at the beginning of the week. Tomorrow starts a new day and I just go forward and see what I can do this week. One of my main goals is to be under 200lbs so when I hit the 199 mark, I will be so excited. I know that I still have to lose a lot but as time passes, I know that I can accomplish it. I am able to stay on track with the support and love of my Husband. I feel like im a blob when I look at myself in the mirror. I am just disgusted with what I see. I told my husband today that im trying hard to give him a sexy wife. He said, " I already have a sexy wife!" It made me feel so good knowing that he loves me no matter what. I am ready to face this week head on and see what all I can get accomplished. Goodbye weekend, bring it on Monday!

Today was so amazing. I feel like I ate good today. My supper was a baked hamburger with lots of veggies, baked fries, and a salad. I know its not the most heathiest but I am using smaller plates so that I wont have a lot. I have already started losing weight and am so excited. I am not trying to lose it fast because I know as long as I do it slow, I will have a better chance of keeping it off. I didnt get as much excercise in as I would have liked but I made sure to be up moving as much as possible. I am so excited about the ending results but can't look that far ahead. I have to just look at each day for what it is. I am excited to face tomorrow and see how good I can do tomorrow.

I dont know what to do anymore. I went on a low calorie diet before and was doing great then I got off the diet and gained all the weight back plus some. I have been married for 2 weeks today to the greatest man ever. He has always been a great support for me. I have 2 sons from a pervious relationship and he claims them as his own. I am so disapointed in myself because I had a beautiful dress but I just looked so terrible. I have not ever been as big as I am now. I just feel like im losing this battle and I dont want to. My husband is a little skinny guy though he is 141lbs and claiming he is to big now. I however am over 260lbs and just don't like it at all. I have a problem saying no to food. After I do something I am so upset with myself because I know that I messed up. I want to get to where I have more control over myself. I would love to weight 125lbs but right now would be happy with 180lbs. I remember when I was 180lbs and at that time I said I was so fat. I dont know why I didnt try doing something at that time to keep me from getting to where I am now. I have always turned to food for anything and I know in the back of my mind that it is the enemy but just can't stop. I am not sure if I want the surgery or not because I dont have insurance right now. I would like to try to excercise again and eat healthy. I wish I had someone close to me that needed to lose weight too so that I could have someone to excercise with and talk to. I am so embarassed at how I look. I know my husband loves me but I would love to give him a wife that is healthy and able to go on hikes and bike rides. I have my fingers crossed that I can do that for not only him but me as well. I am scared that if I dont get myself on the right path that im going to end up causing myself lots of health problems and potentially death if I can't stop. I want to find myself so badly!