michelle O.

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2009 is going to ROCK!!! Life is going well. I am slowly starting to work on achieving my dreams of helping people achieve their goals of getting healthy, fighting the disease of Obesity. I am now working for a Bariatric surgeon, getting certified in Zumba Jan. 11th. which is also my 4 year Anniversary of my RNY.
 I continue to realize consistantly  how much of a tool any form of WLS is. With out education on how to eat, exercise, and change our lifestyle we set our selves up for hardships.
 So on to a New year! Cheers (with my water in hand)

Today is my 29th birthday. yay! I honestly can say I enjoy life much more now then I did when I was younger. Being healthy and fitting into the world finding my place has been an exceptional journey and it will only continue. Living my dreams. Reaching my goals. The little things that I love and look forward to experiencing.
 I finished my first year back at college a few days ago. Was accepted into an ultrasound program and will be graduating in 2010 with my college degree. June 6th I leave NY for FL. My dream that has been for 10 years is now a reality.
 Life is what we make of it what we decide. I'm back to eating good and moving more. Feeling good and have my energy back.
It was an amazing feeling last night as I attended my last NY support group. It's growing nicely and Annette has done wonders with it. To hear people say I am an inspiration put me in my place to know I must continue to do my best.
So knowing I am in the best place yet in my life I am ready to celebrate and have a good time!

Well here is a post that I don't want to make. However I know there are many of you that read my posts and so here I am laying myself out in front of you all.  I stepped on the scale this morning and it was not a pretty picture. Not at all. I just feel comfortable and I have realized that my drinking before during and after my meals has done nothing but help me to put on weight and slide food through my pouch faster. Not to mention I have not been in the gym nearly as much as I used to.
 So what?Well Hell I am not taking this weight gain calmly. It's stopping. No food ever helped me to feel as good as fitting into normal sized clothes and the energy I possessed. I am going back to basics. Back to MY strict regimen. Protein, exercise, water, weighing myself daily.
 Funny how when you start to feel "normal" things are way to easy to forget.
I'll be posting to keep myself in check.
The song "here I go again" comes into my head.

I was chatting with a friend of mine the other day whose mom had just under gone RNY. She is now dying. Her lungs collapsed, she has pneumonia and there are other complications.
 It reminds me how serious this decision is to undergo surgery. So many are chasing the dream of being "thin" not considering what could possibly happen. Treating our bodies like they were prior to surgery eating unhealthy foods...
 It's scary and yet people still rush into this procedure. I send my love and well wishes to my friend and pray his mother makes a turn for the better.

I can finally say I am really MOVING! Found a place in Florida near Tampa...so I am out of NY in a few weeks.
 Things are finally looking up and falling into place smoothly...YAY!
Will be finishing school and enjoying the warm, sunny climate of Florida. Looking forward to biking the trails, walking the beach, etc...Life is awesome. I am working on getting off the little bit of weight I packed on over winter...it's going slowly...but being active is the key.
 So finally another one of my dreams is coming true.

Tomorrow the 11th marks my 3 year anniversary!! It almost seems like another life. I'm very happy I decided to have RNY and I am happy that I have worked my butt off literally to keep the weight off.  Learning to manage food and exercise in everyday to make my body healthy has been an adventure as it will always be.
 Kind of strange how things have changed. People no longer remember me at 350 lbs. The way my body feels physically is tremendous. The fact that I can actually work out and jog...granted not far at all but I can jog more then two feet.
 Seeing the look on my parents faces with how I've kept the weight off and all the positive changes in my life makes me feel so happy.  Meeting remarkable people who constantly inspire me to LIVE...funny how at 350 it was living to hide and be invisible. So many times I would just sit and cry because I felt useless and unable to do things...weight shouldn't stop you from living but it does.
 My life is chaotic and full now. With college which I never thought I would finish, and working two jobs I could not have done this at my highest weight.
Now I see that I have maintained a 150lb weight loss...if I can do that I can do anything I want to. I see life as precious and a gift to be lived. I look at my friend who is 40 and has been battling cancer...it's about living. Living your dreams, living your desires. We get so caught up in the material things, the business of work, when to me the important memories are with loved ones and sharing good times.
 I look back often and I have kept a pair of my size 28 jeans as a reminder along with my loose skin on my arms of where I came from. No longer does food control me. No longer do I think of myself as unhealthy.
 I am strong, determined, beautiful, open and willing to embrace life for all it has to offer. Live, laugh, and smile often...because each day is as important as the last.
 I hope those of you who read about me realize this is NOT an easy way to loose weight. It takes a lot of hard work, education, responsibility, exercise and being in control of you, your mind, and your emotions. I've been through 5 surgeries in 3 years. Thats a lot! I've had a twisted intestine, and 3 rounds of plastics to repair the damage of obesity. In the midst of all this I realize even more how much Obesity is a disease...it is not about accepting heavy people it should be about finding a cure.  My scars  remind me daily of where I was.  There is pain and there are emotions entwined in my heart that I feel will always be with me. One thing I do know is I am no longer the fat girl! I am just Michelle...the tall girl. I'm no longer just a pretty face.
 I've let go off the hurt and the past. It made me strong, it made me who I am inside...my three tattoos all represent an aspect of this. Now, now I am simply me...plain and simple. An open book waiting to be read by those that wish to read it...it's your life, it's your desires, and more then anything I have realized anything is possible and is attainable if you want it bad enough. Plain and simple...it's your choice how difficult you make it.
 I'm moving on with my life and moving to Florida in about 6 months...I can not wait. Here's to keeping my weight steady and more workouts and yummy protein shakes...cause thats what I like and what I am all about now.
 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! It's 2008 and it's gonna be GREAT!! So says I...
 I'm three weeks post op from my thigh lift. Feeling great and looking good. Just 9 days shy of my 3 year anniversary of my RNY! I have maintained a 150lb weight loss...now that just rocks!
 I live life and I love it. For once my new year is all about LIVING MY DREAMS! I am finally moving to Florida a long awaited dream for the past ten years. I am back in school which I will continue and finish in Florida...finished my first semester back with a 4.0 average!!!
 School and living....great plan. My schedule has been made around my gym schedule so that I can stay in the gym and get back to lifting.
 My promise to myself is to simply keep myself where I am at or better but never ever back where I was. My body just loves being healthy...sometime it's tough love but I love helping those who are fighting the weight war so heres to 2008.

Time to update! Here it is December and I am little over a week away from having my thigh lift. I've been doing lots of thinking (which is so uncommon for us) about all that has changed in the past 3 years.
 Last night as I was lying there thinking about surgery coming up...it felt in my crazy distorted mind almost like it's the last goodbye to the body I always knew and had for so long. Like the old me is coming to an end and the new me has fully taken over...but has it?
 My journey has really been like two different lives. I notice several times my mind still catching up and the underlying issues that have never been dealt with are arising. Mostly when it comes to relationships. Being single has it's huge share of challenges. I notice how I have a guard up because well I have no idea what to do in that department as far as dating goes...I realize the past has caught up and the relationship experience I did have left me wounded and with yet another wall to climb over...because hey we all like climbing walls!
 I am excited for my thigh lift and kind of sentimental at the same time. I'm looking forward to my knee brace fitting correctly with out skin popping out over the top...but at the same time it feels like i'm getting rid of the past the big thighs I've known...Kinda strange how we reflect and how thing hit us out of no where.
 This past fall I returned to school and am just one final away from being finished with my first semester. Hoping to transfer down south to finish school by the latest next August. Simply it is truly amazing to me what barriers can be overcome when we not only stand up for ourselves but when we take care of us and get where we need to be individually.
 Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

Today it is exactly 2 and a 1/2 years since my gastric bypass!  I can hardly believe it...Life is so much different now then what it was at 350 lbs. 
 I've been looking through old pictures and I can not believe how big I was. Funny how much your body and your MIND adapt and change. I feel almost like the old me never existed in a way since no one around me seems to remember me then but have adjusted to how I look now. 
 I think my mind is finally catching up to the new me and the new life.  It's just amazing to me how much a gain of just a few pound feels like 20 compared to before I never noticed the difference if I gained or lost.
 I was unable to work out over the past few months due to my knee acting up...figures now I want to be active and it has an issue.  So being less active I did gain some weight back..not a ton but I want it off. I am back in the gym now and love the feeling of how I feel after working out...There are many days that I can think of doing other things then sweating on a machine but it helps so much with maintaing my weight loss!
 Wow...it is really unbelieveable where I am now and I have maintained for over a year now!
 I'm keeping on my track!
 

I am home today  from the hospital. I actually had a twisted bowel. I had surgery yesterday. Luckily it was laproscopic. I am doing good and feeling better now that my guts are not in a knot and giving me pain. Just a tiny bit sore.
 Anyone who ever says you took the easy way out is SOOO WRONG!!! This marks my 4th surgery in 2 years. Granted two out of the four were plastics they were still major surgeries.
 PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE learn to eat right, take your vitamins and educate yourself.