sthepworth

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I went to my pre-op meeting tonight, stepped on the scale and found a new favorite number- 2!  I weighed 222 pounds!!! I lost 16 lbs this week on this horrific optifast diet!!! It still doesn't make me like optifast any more than I used to, but I sure do love the number 2 more!!

A few days ago I had to go to the Salvation Army to find some jeans that fit better (in this case, the 2's- as in size 22, just weren't cutting it for me!). I found some 18's I thought I'd try to squeeze into, then some 16's for the future that were super cute and cheap.  The 18's fit perfect!!! No squeezing or ANYTHING!! And imagine my TOTAL astonishment, when I woke up the next morning, put on what I THOUGHT were my 18 pants, they were quite snug, but still fit, and found out THEY WERE A SIZE 16!!Granted, I had some of the WORST muffin-top known to man, and I couldn't sit comfortably in them, but HOLY COW!!!  It totally made my day.

Only 9 more days until surgery. Today I have to go back to the hospital to have a repeat mammogram and ultrasound done on my right breast because of something that showed up on my first mammogram last week. I'm such an idiot. I'm almost more concerned that them finding something means they'll have to postpone my surgery than I am of them discovering breast cancer. I know I really WOULDN'T be, but because of the thought of cancer being so far out there, that's how my pathetic mind is working.  I'll let you know the results as soon as I get them (which better be soon!!).

Okay, people- what is the point of making me STARVE and deprive myself on this stupid Optifast diet, if I don't have the other tools that surgery will give me?  I lost 35+ lbs during the 6 mo before my surgery date, and have lost about 10 more.  My problem is- they have me on the dumb 'ole Optifast for 17 DAYS prior to my surgery, and I'm a lightweight to begin with!! I'm having horrible headaches from not having hot food. I finally broke down and had a cup of boullion each day for the last two, and today I ate 3oz of Salmon (broiled with nothing on it). I'm ready to hit Chipotle and eat me a HUGE STEAK BOWL!! I am SICK SICK SICK of this.

To be honest, I actually like the taste of the Optifast shakes, but I'm not, nor have I ever been, a 'sweet' person. Give me a potato, rice, steak, fish, ANYTHING but sweet stuff, and I'm a happy person. Give me 17 day of sweet-and I'm 'sour'. :(

Well, I got through yesterday with NO CHEATING!!! Which was HARD, because my adorable 10 yr old made me sugar-free cookies (just so I could have one). And he made 36 of them!! He also told me he made them little so I could have them. I felt SOOO bad! I offered to freeze one until after the surgery (way after), but they were all gone less than an hour later.

The fact that I drug someone every time I went into the kitchen probably helped a little as well!!

Well, yesterday was day 1 on the Optifast program. One word. H.U.N.G.R.Y. Not to mention there was food EVERYWHERE around me. AND I had to pick up groceries on the way home. We went to see a play that evening and I found one of the worst/best smells when you're hungry- POPCORN. I'm not a HUGE fan of popcorn, but I sure was last night!!

As for the taste of the "shakes", I thought they were pretty darn good! (Of course, this is day #1) I made half of them in a blender with ice, which helped to stretch them out and make them last a little longer.

So, today is day #2. I only got up at 11:30 (still trying to get back to life from my kidney stones), and had my first shake. Hopefully, since I started later, I'll feel more full since I started later in the day. We'll see!

I went to the ER on Friday night last week (I had been having kidney stone pain for a week and a half) when my pain got out of control. The ER doc said that yes, there was blood in my urine, but that I was taking the most pain meds at home that they have. RiiIIIiiigghht. So, if you have to perform open heart surgery on someone, I have all the med in my medicine cabinet to make him comfortable during the operation, is that RIGHT? They finally said "Here are 4 Torodal. Quit your whining and call your Urologist or PCP on Monday." Nice fellow. He took one look at me (NOT my history) and said "DRUG SEEKER" and sent me on my fine little way, not to be bothered. Well, I crawled through the weekend mostly laying as drugged-up as I could get in my bed until Monday morning. My PCP said to call my Urologist, my Urologist told me to go to the ER again. I told them wheat had happened last Friday and told them to please do something more, I have a history of these things, I have bariatric surgery coming up and I just WANT IT REMOVED. Well, he shared with me his thoughts on bariatric surgery (NOT a fan of, he let me know more than a few times) and he wanted to do a KUB and sonogram to check for the stone. I warned him that my stones don't show up on KUB (I've had dozens, so I know, and THEIR hospital history will show ), but I've only had the sonogram once before and I'm not sure if they work or not. He REEEEALLY doesn't want to do a CT because of the exposure to radiation and since THOSE PEOPLE at the bariatric place will be giving me one EVERY YEAR, he might consider it if everything else comes up negative....or he might just send me home with some meds to see if I can get it to pass. NO WAY I said nicely. I have a meeting at my bariatric plac on Thursday and if you miss a meeting they'll MOVE YOUR DATE.  LOoooooOOOO story shorter. The got the stone/stones out and I got home late tonight (Wednesday). I'm still in a lot of pain, but they are sending me home with something that will hopefully work. The worst thing is that my 1200 cal/day- BLOWN TO CRAPP-O!! On Friday, Sat, and Sun I didn't each hardly anything; and on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I just ate whatever was put on my tray (and then some), and, of course, they pumped me full of fluids....so get this...I get on my scale as soon as I get home (no, I ignored the gigantic red flags that said "Don't Go There!!") and hopped on, or heaved on, I should say.  I gained 15 pounds...POUNDS as in A 6 MONTH OLD BABY attached to my butt and thighs!! AAaarrgghhhh!!! I'm glad that I lost some in the last 6 months, but it took 3 MONTHS to lose that much and only 3 DAYS TO GAIN IT?!! Okay, I wont's TOTALLY freak out until Friday night or Saturday. All the fluid should be out and I will have started on my Optifast by then. Man, what a week.

Haha! I'm such a dork.

I'm keeping track of everything I eat for my 1200 calorie day, which they are going to check next week, right?
 
Do I REALLY write down, four double-finger dips into a carton of Papa Murphy's chocolate chip cookie dough, and two semi-spoonfulls of cool-whip/chocolate cake mixture. Because that's REALLY all I've had today. Wait!! No, I did have some Cream of Wheat this morning, all my vitamins and so far 5 1/2 cups of water. If I DO write it down, how do I record the how much/how many calories/carbs/blah blahs. Should I just put a huge frowny face in that part?

 Perhaps I should just feed this page to my dog.  He, unlike me, seems to eat whatever he likes and never gains an ounce.

Well, I'm doing much better from my Tuesday wack-o freak-out after getting all the info from my bariatric center. I think it was the fact that I had some caffeine, bad food choices, and just at a bad mental place.

I've been reading my giant bariatric bible, highliting, marking, and writing out all my questions. I'm much more calm, but I try to think of the entire process instead of the single 'surgery day'. Seems to help a little.

Day 2 on 1200 calories a day. Yesterday I wasn't able to get all my veggies in, and only got in 1100 cal.  Lately, I just haven't been interested in eating. That's a good thing, I guess. I could see where that will really cause a problem post-surgery, though.  I probably should have just done the opti-fast until surgery, but I wasn't ready to drop my food cold turkey (see, everything relates to food). So, I thought I would just do 10 days of 1200, then the rest on opti-fast until the 6th of Nov.

I just realized that Fall is the perfect time to have this surgery. As the trees are shedding their leaves and getting ready through this winter for a new birth in spring, so  am I.

So, I'm trying to write down a list of questions, things to buy, and things to do in the next 4 weeks before my surgery, and I'm coming up with very few things. I'm hoping that people will help me out and give me some hints. This is what I have so far:

Questions for the Dr.:

I've heard the chances of having gallbladder problems after surgery are HUGE and that some surgeons go ahead and remove the gallbladder at the time of the RNY- do you/what are your thoughts? Does my history of having chronic kidney stones have any bearing on that?


Things to buy:

Single blender (magic bullet?)
Lots of sugar free: popsicles, jell-o, pudding, chx broth, beef broth
Listerine strips/other breath fresheners (sugar-free)


Brint to hospital:

Pillow to hug for on the way home
chapstick


So, I would LOVE it if people would add to my list here. I'm sure it will grow by leaps and bounds as I go back through the forums and such. 

Love you all and so happy to have found my peeps!!!

Tanya