Sue J.

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I am having a really hard time believing it, but I am down below 200 now for the first time since probably 5th or 6th grade... (not too sure because you don't really pay attention to that kind of stuff as a kid.)  My doctor's goal for me was 200 (DONE) and my own first goal was a 1(DONE) and now my ultimate hope is 185 (half of my original body weight.)  However, I will be totally content at 190, especially knowing that the plastic surgery will get rid of most of the extra I might still be carrying around.  Considering how my loss pattern has been going (nothing for a few weeks and then 3-4 pounds disappear within one week- averaging a pound a week) I hope to be hitting the 190 line within the next month or two. 

Wow!  a year ago I could have never imagined
    that it would be this amazingly successful
    that it would be this hard
    that I could actually wear a size 14
    that it would be this all encompassing
    what I would look like at a lean weight
    what I was missing in life
    what a relief it is to not worry about/focus on my body image in day-to -day situations
    what a relief it is to take the focus off of food and onto other things- family, kids, activity, community, knitting instead of snacking :)
    how much energy I was using to deal with arthritis pain- now gone
    that I would be in the neighborhood of my goals so soon
    that something could be so difficult but so simple at the same time

I have been so blessed!  Thanks to everyone who has supported me, my family and friends, Dr Read and his amazing team at Samaritan Bariatric, the academy (just had to throw that in there) and above all thanks be to God who carried me through it all, gave the amazing skills and knowledge to the medical team and gave my husband and family the grace, wisdom and patience needed to deal with me :).  I love you all!!

   
   
   
   

I don't know if they still use it, but there used to be a commercial out there for a weight loss program and they used the line... "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels."  I heard someone use the line the other day, and it really bugs me... it really sells the situation short on both ends of the stick.  First off, if weight loss truly was just a matter of tasting food most of us would not be in the position we are/were in.  And likewise, if the primary motivator is the physical outcome of being thin then I think we would all be in for a frustrating lifelong struggle.  But thank goodness it's not as simple/trite as the quote.  The rewards from this life change reach into every single crack, crevice and wrinkly fold of our lives!  There is not a part of my life that hasn't been impacted... the size I wear, the food I eat, self confidence, social involvement and interaction,  walk different, sit different, dress different, think different, some say I even sound different (hmm?).  It's a whole new world!!
It's been very surrealistic... I feel kind of narcissistic sometimes because I find myself staring in the mirror trying to get used to it, soak it up, recognize myself. 
The food challenges are there and always will be.  It's been a tough month with work and personal stresses.. a month that before would have been filled with fast food trips and junk food binges.  It's definitely not easy, but each time I start to feel the pull to 'the dark side' I don't have far to look for a reminder as to why I don't want to go there. 
Some fun accomplishments:  I'm down to 214, I have now lost 156 pounds, I am shopping in 'non-big girl' stores wearing size 16 pants, I bought a shirt that did not have an X in front of the size (and it wasn't even a mens shirt), I am pain free in my knee (5 years chronic pain pre-WLS), and I laughed the other day when I realized that I was excited to need something from the 3rd floor supply room so I could take the stairs! 
God has been so good!  It couldn't have happened without Him and I will be forever blessed by this surgery, the people involved in my life, the folks on this site... you are all wonderful and I hope I can pay it all forward!

Of course, everything must have a baseball analogy these days thanks to our AMAZING NATIONAL CHAMPION OSU BEAVERS BASEBALL TEAM!!!!

But it truly is a whole new ballgame now that I have passed my 6 month anniversary.  I am physically able to eat anything, and that 'anything' includes all of the things that contributed to my original weight.  I'm sure I'm the only one, but I will go on record as saying that I HAVE CHEATED... I know, I know, it's a shocker.  Yep, those carbs were calling my name and I caved.  And I am a little disappointed to say that my body handled it fine.... I would have been kind of happy if I had dumped, but no.  However, emotionally and psychologically, it wasn't worth it.  Which is weird... before I would have said that depriving myself of the food pleasure was not worth the emotional stress.  Now I honestly can say that eating the 'poor choice' food was not worth the emotional stress.  I have worked so hard to get where I am, and to let myself even flirt with the notion of eating in a way that even remotely resembles my previous habits... it's just not acceptable.  I'm back on track though, the loss continues (with a lull in there from my days of weakness) and I am now at a weight that, I believe, would be about 7th grade for me.  (I remember shopping for clothes with friends in 8th grade and I was crushed that I could barely squeeze myself into a pair of 20s, which was the largest size in that store.)  I'm in 16/18s now, so I'm guessing this is where I was at around 7th grade / 13 years old.
So, I had some exciting accomplishments recently.  I was able to fly with no seatbelt extender, comfortably sitting in the airline seat without encroaching into the neighboring seats, and able to put the lap tray down. Steve and I flew to San Antonio for a business/pleasure trip (pleasure for Steve and business/pleasure for me) and I was so excited to be able to walk all over San Antonio and the river walk without any knee pain or exhaustion.  We walked about 3 miles of the riverwalk one day.... I couldn't have even dreamed of doing that before.  I lost 6 pounds on vacation thanks to all of that walking!!!! 
My other big thing recently was the hair.... chopped it!  My hair loss has finally slowed/stopped (hallelujah and amen!) and now that the new hair is growing back in I had a lovely halo of baby hairs growing back, so it was time.  I changed the color a bit too.
Life, though not without it's usual little bumps in the road, is moving along nice and steady. Work is going good, home is going great, Steve is the most amazing husband ever, my Mom has been so supportive and excited for me.... God has so richly blessed me and surrounded me with these exact people for so many reasons... and I'm sure information on many of those reasons is yet to be revealed to me... and that's the exciting part!
God bless you all!

My actual weight finally matches the weight on my drivers license!  I am finally an honest woman!!!  ...but now the picture doesn't match!  :)

Things are going good.  My weight loss has slowed a bit (but my hair loss hasn't ... grrr) and I am losing about 3-4 pounds a week now.  That's cool though.... I know I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, the body changes continue, and I take that as a sign that my body is adjusting and leveling out as I get closer to goal.  It's all good.  Honestly, if the weight loss ended now, I would still be happy with everything.  My health has never been this good, and I am so thrilled with the changes in my health/body/life.  However,I know that I will continue to lose.... and that is like icing on the cake (sugar free icing of course.)

I can't believe the changes.... obviously I had expectations before surgery, but the reality has so far exceeded my expectations that I have settled on the word CRAZY as my general descriptor.  Other words would be amazing, miraculous, illogical, dramatic, life-changing, spectacular.... CRAZY!! 
I've lost 114 lbs (88lbs post op /  26 preop).  I have gone from wearing 32 pants to 20s.  I'm off of all arthritis meds and have been pain free for over two months now (after probably 5 years of constant chronic pain).
I'm very excited to have started adding some veggies into my meals... variety makes such a difference.  I actually had ham, a deviled egg and a spoonful of green beans for easter dinner... I felt like a King!!
I'm still suprised when I look in the mirror or walk past a store window and see my reflection or look down at my legs as I walk down the hall at work.... what I see with my eye does not match what I have burned into my brain.  I've picked up some pants in the store with the thought of 'these will be good for next month when I lose more weight" and I get them home to find that they fit now and are actually loose... crazy.
I am so excited to see what the next few months bring... How can it get better than this?!  I haven't had this much energy in ages.  I am very excited for my trip to SanAntonio in May (business trip with my hubby coming along) when I will actually ride in a plane without a seat extender, maybe even put the tray down, and enjoy the sights without being in pain or pooping out half way through. 
I have been so blessed by my family, Dr Read, Bobbie, Susan and Kim at Samaritan Bariatrics.  Every one of them is key to this amazing process and it would not be what it is without them.  You guys rock!!!

I really feel like I get it! My relationship with food has totally changed. Eating is like a science now... scheduling the water intake, remembering the vitamins, monitoring the protein, getting a clearer picture of how much I can really eat. At times the 'science' was a bit like a chore and a bit depressing because of the pleasure I used to get from food, but honestly it's become a comfort and a relief. It's a constant in my life now, something I don't need to do emotional battle with, a decision that I don't need to struggle with. Now, I'm not going to lie... it will be nice in a couple moths to add some variety with fruit/veggie options, but for now I'm doing great. I realized something tonight... I have officially lost all of the weight I had gained over the last 4 1/2 years since Steve and I got together. I had lost 65 pounds on NutriSystem, but when I had to I quit purchasing their food (expensive!) and was cooking for the family, the weight came back on. And as of this week I have surpassed the weight loss success I had then. I'm down 55 pounds since 12/6/6. The other exciting thing is that I had started losing weight on my own last January, a year ago, so since then I have lost 81 pounds. Now that's fun!!

After so much research, prayer, insurance stuff, appointments, etc. ...not to mention the years of just wishing/thinking about it... I can't believe this is actually happening!! I am 3 weeks out from surgery and have lost 30 pounds.  I have progressed to regular food (no more strained/creamed soups or mushy stuff) and am able to eat protein and start exprimenting with different things.  I haven't had a single problem with any foods... no throwing up... though I have learned to stay away from some richer foods and had a close call when I didn't chew a bite well enough.... OUCH!!!  My energy level has been great and I am excited that I am now able to resume my knee medication so I can more comfortably get out and beef up my exercise routine (haha... 'beef up' implies I actually have an exercise routine right now.) I have cleared out a large number of clothing items from my closet, and I am working my way through my 'skinny clothes'.  I have been so amazingly blessed with an amazing recovery and with some of the most wonderful support folks in my Husband and my Mom!  They are both so excited, supportive and 'on board' and I would not be where I am now if it wasn't for them.  My coworkers have been a great source of encouragement as well and they eagerly soak up all of the details as my life changes.  
I was definitely curious how Christmas would go, and I was so pleased!  My Mom cooked for the main family gathering, yeah Mom! She modified one of my favoite jello salads so I would be able to have it, and she made sure there were a few other things that I could choose from for my protein.  It went great!  I did a bunch of cooking as well (had a house full with the stepkids and father-in-law all with us for the holiday) and I was very excited to get back in the kitchen and was even more excited to realized that I can still have fun cooking for everyone even though I'm not eating the full meal with them.  
'Lunching' is a very common thing at my work... great socializing time since we don't have a chance to visit that much in our fast paced office, I have been really pleased to find several restaurants in our area that are very accomodating.  Baja Fresh will sell a side order of chicken (I got 3 meals out of it) for $3.35, Sunnyside Up Cafe will sell a side order of breakfast ham (2 meals) for $2, and Marzini's will sell 2 meatballs in wonderful marinara sauce (1 meal) for $1.50 (or just $1 on 'Meatball Mondays' ) .  I think I'll keep a list going for everyone in our local support group.  
OK, I could 'talk' all afternoon... so much going on in my head htese days... but I'm going to say goodby for now!
Have a wonderful New Years everyone!!!!

Sorry for being so out of touch with everyone! Our computer died so I was unable to write for the few days after surgery. And then, just after getting a new computer up and running, we lost our power on thursday and STILL have not gotten power back (we crashed at my Mom's last night and I'm using her computer.) Power company says we should get power back today... fingers crossed! 
I am doing great!!! The hospital experience was excellent... great staff, no complications,... pain was well contolled and the discomfort was tolerable. I have been so blessed by a speedy recovery! I had surgery at 8am 12/6 and I headed home from the hospital at 4pm 12/7. My pain after surgery was limited to abdominal muscle pain and I was thrilled to not need pain meds much after surgery. The abdominal pain only lasted for a couple of days and I was basically pain free by 12/10. The incisions were not painful, though one of them on my side was more sensitive just because it would get bumped or moved everytime I bent over or twisted. The incisions are covered with a clear bandage (skin glue) that wears off gradually, so there was no need to deal with changing dressings or anything. The scars have healed up quickly, all of the skin glue has worn off and the minimal bruising has almost disappeared. 
My food transistions have been going very well... clear liquids for a week (very tired of broth, but love that sugar free jello), and I am now wrapping up the creamy foods phase (cream soups are a little better, but I am truly looking forward to something more solid.) So far I have not really felt hungry or full. I expect those sensations will be back once I start eating solid foods. 
I have found that I don't watch TV much anymore because of the commercials. And a lot of the women's magazines have lost their appeal too... when I have to wade through 75% of the pages (food ads, recipes, etc) to get to the 25% I choose to read (health, beauty, fashion, home decorating, etc) it's not worth it. 
I haven't weighed in a few days, but as of 12/14 (8 days out from surgery) I had lost 22 pounds. I have my postop appointment with Dr Read tomorrow (monday 12/18) so I'll get an official update then.

I can't believe how fast the surgery day is approaching!! Considering the holidays (thurs and fri off for Thanksgiving) and taking the monday and tuesday off before the surgery, I have realized that I have 8 days of work before the surgery.  OH MY GOODNESS!  I am so excited, anxious, eager, etc.   I really don't feel fearful or nervous... just anxious.  Work has been exceptionally stressful this week, which is not helping my anxieties.  My assistant is fabulous and will handle it all with ease, so I keep telling myself to let it go and not worry about work.  It's time to take care of me.  But, that is easier said than done.  
I had a great opportunity to meet a new OH friend in person tonight for a cup of coffee and a good heart to heart as we both head towards our surgery dates.  It was great to meet a new friend and to hear about someone else's journey.  Thanks for a lovely evening Vicki!

I was so disciplined when I was working on losing that 5%.  But now i have slipped into a mindset that I don't like.... the 'last time I'll be able to have this' mindset.  I'll have this big chunk of garlic bread because it's the last time I'll be able to have this... I'll have this big bowl of pasta because... I'll have these pieces of halloween candy because... I'll have this big soda pop because...  I know that it's a totally backwards approach... in reality this could be such a strong start to the WLS process and I need to shake it!  I need to start displaying the same confidence in myself that my family is showing.  My Mom, Husband and step-kids all got together and got me a beautiful ring to express how pround they are of me... it's a three stone ring and each of them wrote out thoughts, in groups of three, to share their wonderfully supportive words with me.  I really needed that!!!  And they even thought ahead to arrange multiple ring sizings over the next couple of years.  So that's it... no more 'it's ok because!'