Sunflair

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Well, this is what I have learned.  It isn't for everyone but it makes me happy.  I keep track of my water intake, my food intake and my weight.  I know how much my clothes weigh, too.  Yeah, they may be a total of 4 or 5 lbs, but it makes me happy to know where I am.

Right now I am at 221.8 this morning.  I try to weigh in the morning but sometimes I don't get to.  That's a low.  If I weigh fully dressed after I eat and drink in the afternoon, it is plus 4 or 5 lbs, so I always subtract.

When I had my period, I didn't really lose ANYTHING.  I reminded myself that this always happens, and for some reason my body just holds on to some weight like it was gold.  I reassured myself that when my period was over, I would lose something.  It was hard because for 2 weeks the needle didn't move on the scale!

Then the last day came and by a miracle I dropped 4 lbs.  I don't know why I do this, but before I had gotten discouraged and stopped with my efforts and fell off the wagon and didn't come back.  This time I acted like nothing was going wrong and knew I was still losing and my body was LYING!  So, yea!  Paid off.

I hope to be entering the teen range soon then finally after 4 years into onederland.  That would be so fantastic!

I have also noticed that the excersize isn't really doing anything to lose weight (unless I kill myself doing it and I don't always feel like doing that).  If I want to lose I have to eat less.  No way around it.  So, I am eating less and excersizing and that is working for now.  It is not hard excersize but I look toned which makes me happy.  Reduced food is the way to go.

Yaa!  Finally got it figured out for my body, and just before my 42th birthday!

Hey, CarmelCandy smacked me around and got me to realize being back on the wagon is where a girl outta be :)  Thanks, Girl!

I am doing that thing.  God put me in a job where until the end of the year I will be getting off work at 11pm.  This means when I am off work no one is around and I can't do anything except maybe go home and watch TV or be sad and eat.  OR I could just go to the first level and hit the gym for a few hours, have the whole place to myself, listen to the radio and work out at my own pace.

And enjoy a better body that doesn't get tired as much, needs new clothes and turns more heads.

Hmm.  Decisions, decisions.  :D

I bought new tennis shoes.  I think I had my old ones since Jr high.  If not, it wasn't long after that.  Anyway, the old ones were size 8.5.  These new ones are size 7.5.  I think that may be the last thing from my old wardrobe that I was wearing before the weight loss.  I still have them.  Can't bring myself to throw them out yet.

Working out is fun.  If I don't do it I kinda get testy and antsy and have all this energy waiting to jump out of me with no outlet.  I am doing it for the sake of humanity.  It is a mercy effort.

I still hate that I am all jiggly in places.  I have what I call pregnancy thighs.  The fronts of my legs look like they are both pregnant and no lie, they are maybe what is keeping me in a size 18 when I am sure my waist could accomodate something smaller.  Well, there is an extra line in my legs now.  I am excited.  The pregnancy issue no longer goes all the way down to my knees, but there's about 4 inches above it where it is smaller. 

I also started seeing stretch marks on my lower arms.  Now, I know they aren't pretty, but I am dang excited.  I have lost enough to see stretch marks!  WOOHOO! 

I am most looking forward to getting my clavical bumps back.  I know I had them before, and I know I weighed as little as 202 so they are 20 lbs within reach.

I am working on this because I want to get my panulectimy done as well as my breast reduction.  I don't want to do that and then lose 80 more lbs, so I am doing that first.  I have wanted it for about 4 years now and I am finally getting around to doing it.

Bonus.  I am quite happy.

You know, I know I probably hit the gym pretty hard.  About an hour weight lifting in various forms, then 3 rounds of 40 minutes on the tread mill.  If I go 2 hours straight, I get sore and don't lose as much.  Go figure.  But, when I am walking on the tread mill I can imagine myself that I am already at my goal weight and there isn't anything I am trying to do but keep the ball rolling.  It makes me happy.  :)

I am not one that thinks she will be happier when she is smaller.  I am happy already, only by the grace of God.  I will be able to wear clothes I want to when I am smaller and jump up and down easier.  Really, I am happy that I can still walk and feel the sun on my face.  There are some that can't.  :(

But, I can. :)

Ok.  Here is the deal.  I had surgery about 4 years ago now.  Lost a lot of weight but still not happy with where I am.  So, I have decided to do the old fashioned thing called dieting.  Yeah, I was scared, too.

My lowest weight was 202 and I was so excited that I was going to enter one-derland.  Then stress happened and I started to gain.  Two weeks ago when I stepped on the scale I was at 244.  That's too close to 250 where I knew I was never going to be again.

So, I have decided to dedicate myself to getting everything off I don't want.  I set the goal at 140lbs and I want to see how close I can get to that in 6 months.  I started excersizing this past Monday and have had some great results.  I am also doing reduced calorie so the DS is really helping with that because I have to eat smaller portions anyway.  I am just trying to make better food choices that will keep me full longer.

As a DS patient, you kinda get lazy as time goes on.  Four years is a long time and I am so glad the weight has not come back, but it tries to send me post cards telling me it misses me!  We tend to have the same kinds of meals we did have before the surgery but it just takes us longer to eat them.  I know with me I will eat and then have to wait for maybe 10 minutes to a half hour and finish the larger meal.  I am going to stop that craziness.

Right now I am at about 230, so I am super happy about the weight loss in two weeks.  I decided to start keeping the blog again because I need to keep track of myself to have success.

It's pretty shameful how long it's been since I posted.  I really can't say too much about that.  The same excuse applies, you lose weight, you get busy.  I had my doubts this would apply to me, but it did!

What can I say?  Went shopping for what may be the last time at Catherines today.  I was looking for the smallest sizes on the rack.  That's never happened before.  I used to grab the biggest.

I probably will still be needing my bras there until I have a reduction.  I am finding out I have a tiny frame, but still need a 40 DDD bra at the very least.  The straps don't even go up far enough for my shoulders.  I have the same problem with shirts, too.  I end up showing much too much cleavage because the necklines are too big for me.

I never had that problem when I was heavier.  HAHAHAHAHA!  :)

I can wear a 14/16 shirt now.  That's never happened before, either.  The other day this guy in traffic kept trying to talk to me wanting to know if I had a man and if he could call me.

That's never happened before, either.  It's not like I live in a big city like Atlanta where that happens not out of the ordinary.  This is Omaha, and that sort of thing, well...

I am very happy with the way things are.  I was in the hospital last month because for a week I would have this horrible reaction to food.  First they thought it may be a bowel obstruction.  Then they thought it could be impacted bowel.  Finally my doc thought it could be a problem with my ovaries.

Yeah, they help digest my food really well! 

Well, we traced it to an ulcer... maybe.  The pain was unbelieavable.  I passed out on my sister's bed after calling her and telling her to come get me and take me to the emergency room (for the second time in a week).

I had an endoscopy done 2 weeks after that.  They had put me on Prilosec and the pain stopped, so I was happy.  Endoscopy showed nothing but a nice pink stomach.  I have the pics to prove it.

The funny thing is, they couldn't stick me properly, so I got to do the procedure without anasthesia.  This is not something I would recommend to anyone if you have a choice.  :)

Anyway, no holes in my stomach, but now, magically after a week after getting checked out it is happening again.  I left work early yesterday because I was in pain.  I couldn't even sit 23 minutes more through my shift.  Almost passed out driving home, but I have to say even though all that it is worth it.

Even as I threw up last night with my dear sis rubbing my back, all I could say was that it was worth it.  I know these problems won't last forever, and that I have had enough good from the surgery that if I stopped right this second and didn't lose anything else, it would still be worth it.

I made up in my mind at the beginning that it was going to work no matter what, and that determination has kept me going through the hard times and the pain.  I know I will need to have a colonoscopy next to see if there is an ulcer in my intestine.  I will have to prepare myself for that.  For now, I am laying off stimulating foods and taking it easy in the eating department.

Prayers are always welcome.  New pictures should be posted since I just passed my 11 month!  One hundred twenty pounds of me is gone!  That's a Brittany Spears off my back!  I have a Nicole Richie to go.  ;)

To everyone thinking of this process, keep your head up!  God will take you through it.  Ask Him for help.

Wow, another month and time flew by.

What can I say?  I stopped excersizing.  I was burning 1000 calories a day and was SO SORE.  I am not losing as fast, but it is steady.

Trying to stay away from the juice.  I am always busy and running around now.

I am shrinking past the clothes that were given to me, and they are starting to be too big.  I have been so blessed that the only thing I have had to buy are new underwear and bras.  Everything else people are giving me.

Oh, my dad bought me shoes :)

I went through my closet and culled my old wardrobe.  One bag to toss, two to give away.  I had no idea there were so many clothes in there!

Today I weigh in at 267.  I have been around there for maybe a week?  It would be nice to get below the eighth ton mark :)

Wow!  Only one entry for December!  People are right, your life does get busy.  You just have more energy to go do something and then you go do it.  Before you know it, you are coming home way after your bed time!

I started weight training.  My appetite went through the roof.  I am not going to give up, though.  I am going to try to make good food choices and plan better.  I just flit from machine to machine, and do maybe 20 minutes twice a week.  It seems to have made a difference.  I like the shapes it makes where there used to be just piles of flesh.

Today I got a big blessing.  I was over my friend's house, and I offered to help her fold her clothes.  Well, she picked up some pants, looked at them, and said, "hey, try these on!"

You all that have been there know what went through my mind.  YOU ARE DAFT, WOMAN!  My thunder thighs will never fit in those!   Well, they did.

I was speechless.  Then she gave me a shirt.  Then another pair of pants and more shirts.

I have SOOO many clothes now that actually fit me.  She made me throw away the pants that I was wearing.  Earlier that day one of my co-workers pointed at me and laughed and said, "Those are too big for you!"  It was pretty funny.  I wasn't walking on the floor, I was walking on my pants.  They were a *little* too big.  I finally admit it.

I probably won't lose very much this month since I started weight training.  It's ok, though.  I feel great, and everyone tells me how small my butt is getting :)

I took my 3 month pictures.  They turned  out a little dark, so I have to lighten them up before I post them.

I can go on and on about the differences that I feel when I compare now to before the surgery.  I was able to sit in a folding chair and fit.  I can wear knee high stockings now.  I can walk on the tread mill and not constantly hit the sides with my hips.  I can sit in a chair and have space left over.  I can put my arms down all the way to my sides.  When I walk, my love handles no longer hit my back side.

I think I will go buy new clothes soon.  :)

*throws confetti in the air*


WOOHOO!!!  It has finally happened.  I am under 300 lbs.  It didn't happen on my birthday, but I was ok with that.  I got to have a few bites of birthday cake, and some grapes, and a few other factors let me weigh in 3 lbs from my goal.

I was proud of myself for not starving myself and not enjoying myself to just make a number.  This is a journey for the rest of my life, and I don't want to start acting crazy just to make a goal.

So, it is today.  Just in time, too!  I went to the doc's today to get my blood drawn.  I felt so good about being 10 lbs less when I saw her.

I have people coming up to me and hugging me and telling me that I look good, that they are proud of me, that they can see me melting away and that my pants definitely look baggy :)

How did I get so many great people around me?  I tell each one of them thank you and that their encouragement means a lot, because it really does.

The other day I caught sight of myself in the bathroom mirror, and I was like, WOW.  Even *I* can see a difference!  I only have about 25% of my excess gone, too.  What is it going to be like with more?

Stay tuned to find out!

About the working out...

I am a nut.  I work out once or twice a day, except weekends.  I monitor my heart rate and it is a good thing.  Today when I worked out, it seemed like I had to try twice as hard to get my heartrate up!  I mean, usually by 5 minutes, I am in the zone.  After 10, I was BARELY in the zone!

It's gotten easier to maintain my heartrate at the top of my workout zone, but today I had to really ramp it up to even get close to the top range.  I do a certain percentage with my low range (10 bpm from the lowest number in my range) and a certain percentage with the high (10 bpm from the highest number of 85% of my range), then I work out at the very highest number for maybe 5 minutes.  I mix it up so my body doesn't know what is coming next.

To get my heart rate up, I lift my knees higher when marching at a slower pace.  Sometimes I keep my upper body still and move only from my hips down.  That gets my rate up, too.  I spend 45 to 50 minutes at a time on the treadmill, so I have to be creative.  I so enjoy it!  I am happy I found something I like, and don't want to add stuff that will make me lose interest.  I hope I can continue with only the treadmill for a long time and still get results.  If I can't, then...

Oh, something silly :)  I clasp my hands together a lot now.  I can actually feel less padding in them!  It's strange.  I hold my hands together and squeeze :)  Today at the doc's office I actually was able to use the regular cuff instead of the thigh one on my arm.

No one knows what that feels like unless you have been there.  I had a terrific day.

Well, Thrush is still around.  I actually think that was a sugar pill instead of Diflucan.  It made the Thrush all happy and now it is worse.  I ordered a bottle of Gensen Violet and will paint my own mouth.  Hopefully it will be here by Wednesday.

I get purple mouth for my birthday.  Yay!

Scale is still 304.  This is actually good.  Thanksgiving I gained 1.4 lbs, and today it is officially gone.  I still have maybe a week to lose 5 lbs.

It snowed so I didn't want to walk outside.  I took the opportunity to get aquainted with our weight room at work.  I fell in love with the treadmill in there.  It has a little bar you hold and it will tell you your heart rate.  NOW I walk two miles a day, and stay in my target heart rate zone for at least 40 minutes.

I know I should add weight training, but right now I am enjoying the treadmill, and don't want to push myself into something that I don't enjoy as much.  I know that will cause me to end my love affair with my new found boyfriend (the treadmill).

Ok, this is an overshare alert.  :)  I can actually hold my stomach in my two hands.  I mean, laying on my back, it fits in my two hands with some spilling out.  Before, there was no way.  If I had maybe 4 hands, I could have done it :)  I am still way way heavier than I should be, but things are looking better.

I re-read part of my blog, and it is amazing that almost exactly one month ago I was so discouraged.  What a difference time makes!  I haven't lost a lot, but I was thinking, if I lose about 4 lbs a week, or even every other week, I should be happy.  The scale is going in the right direction, and come Spring, I am going to start biking.  I looked up how many calories it uses, and I am SO THERE!

Everyone is calling me Skinny now, and I so want to correct them by saying, I am still over 300 lbs!  But, I don't.  I am trying to get better about saying thank you.  It is all a form of encouragement.

The so so funny thing is, now I am no longer lying on my driver's liscence!  :)

I am starting to cook more, and it is even a little fun when I can think up something strange and put it together and it tastes great!

Tonight I put orange zest in a pot of water with some dried cherries.  Cut up 3 cloves of garlic, and put some celery seed in it.  A little sliver of onion, some cumin and a TON of baby carrots.

Then, I dumped some chicken in, and let it boil to make broth.  Oh, I also put in some honey.  It was SOO GOOD.  It smelled like I had added a bunch of pepper, and I hadn't added any!  So, I figured it was telling me that it wanted some.  I put in salt and pepper, and that was a good call.  I also added some chicken bullion to intensify the chicken flavor since the chicken was frozen when I put it in, and the marrow wasn't leeching out as it should.  I know, Bad Rhonda.

The house still smells like it, though.  Next time I do it, I will fish out the dried cherries after I am finished because they don't look too attractive after everything is said and done.

Ok, off to bed with me!

No, I am not high, and you read right.

I know, all this time I have been complaining about the Thrush that won't leave, and as of right now I am on my third medication.

I took Nystantin twice, I mean two rounds of it, had my mouth painted like an infant would, and now am on Diflucan.  It is getting better, but it isn't all the way gone yet.  I guess I taste too good :)

I was telling a friend yesterday that the Thrush may have kept me more honest than I would have been without it.  I mean, at work you know you pass people's desk and they have candy or mints in little bowls, and you take one and don't even think about it much.  Well, because I didn't want anything with sugar sitting on my tongue, I would avoid.

I avoided most everything I came around that would do that.  I even stopped drinking the Fit for Life drinks, because even though it had 0 calories and 0 sugar, it had something in it that made the Thrush happy.  I could tell a difference in less than an hour.

So, maybe it was a gift, meant to help me change my behavior, and now that I have realized it, it can finally DIE!

It would be nice to have it gone by my birthday.  It would also be nice to be under 300 by my birthday.  This morning I stepped on the scale, and 304 popped up again.  I am pleased with that, seeing that I lost 3 lbs two days ago :)

So, I have about 10 days to lose 5 lbs.  Can she do it?  Well, I walked a blister on my foot yesterday, so it will be a challenge, but I am going to give it my best shot!

Wish me luck!

Ok, this is a wow moment if there ever was one.

Saturday I was at services.  At least once a month we take the Torah out and parade it around.  We as a congregation line up around the walls so we can touch it with our prayer books or our Bibles.  Well, I was lined up and when the rabbi came past he stopped and he said, 

"Wow! I like your hair!  You look great!  Really nice!"

Well, it was a little embarrassing, because he doesn't really talk when he's doing that.  Someone is carrying the Torah, and he's walking in front of them.  Someone else is usually walking along with them.  If he says anything, it is to people that may quietly say something to him while he's walking.  He usually replies quietly back. 

This time I think he said it loud enough for the whole church to hear!  I just said thank you and slipped over to the piano where I could sit behind it all safe :)  

I also know it wasn't just my hair :)