negative thoughts... hm...

Apr 28, 2009

so... long story short... i am 2 months post op, and i have lost apx. 50 lbs......  i weigh myself a LOT so this differs everyday..... but my pre-op weight was 293, and is now a tentative 240......i am SO incredibly happy about this! FIFTY POUNDS!! i mean... i could have NEVER done this by myself!
yet.... as many of us are, i am an "instant gratification" type of person...so, as time goes on, and THINK my weight loss is slowing, i feel.... "im not doing as good as i can....im not losing quick enough"..... it also doesnt help to get NEGATIVE comments from a boyfriend who is so emotionally INEPT that his words make me feel like a loss (he is well intentioned, just doesnt know n e better lol)

so....tonight,  i looked on all of my friends pages, to compare weight loss examples.... i guess i am doing ok. EVERYday, from friends, family, and coworkers i see everyday, i get the most FLATERING compliments....but that never seems to be enough.

so... in short, i have run into an obstacle i did not know was waiting for me.... how do i explain this? UM.... loss of self-appreciation or gratification? maybe. basically, a lack of trust; respect and expectations in myself. Rationally, i know i am doing well...and i know there is ALWAYS room for improvement......but, as with many things in life... i cant help but think i am NOT on the exactly correct track pertaining to my WLS.... 50 pounds in TWO months... wow....so, why arent i too happy about it?!?

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