18 month anniversary

Jan 16, 2010

Well, last Sunday was my 18 month surgiversary and of my rebirth.  I just wanted to record my thoughts.

If someone ever told me that I would have accomplished what I have in the last 18 months, I would have told them they were crazy.  18 months ago I was a SMO 53 year old woman who was slowly killing herself by not taking care of herself because she didn't feel as though she was worth it.  Medically speaking, I presented myself to my surgeon with 386 pounds on surgery date, depression, edema, degenerative disc disease, severe sleep apnea, high chloresterol, borderline high blood pressure, borderline high blood sugar, knee pain, back pain, constant fatigue and generally feeling pretty miserable which increased my feelings of worthlessness. 

I've been told that I have a new attitude which some people like and some don't.  I don't think my boss really cares for it because for the first time in 3 years, I actually talk back to her if the occasion requires it.  I feel I am worthwhile and I don't care who knows it.  I keep it in check, of course, but I am making a conscious effort not to print DOORMAT on my back. 

I will continue this but I just wanted to get this going.

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