Syntheia
10-27-07 .....Five days Post op....down 17 lbs!!
It took me 1 year from the time I started to seriously think about it- to having it done. In fact, Halloween will mark the first info session that I attended. I looked at both the bypass and the lap-band and was much more comfortable with the band. The stomach anatomy isnt permanently altered for life. This isnt a quick fix- and yes- there are ways to 'eat around the band' but it can always be tightened or loosened through a port that can be felt just below the skin. I like knowing that when I am 80 years old and may need my stomach to absorb nutrients and it will be able to. Also- if I decide to get pregnant again- which I do- I can have the band opened and it will allow for 500 calories more to be eaten- and when I have that last 20lbs to go- they can tighten it- and make me fuller on less food. It just made better sense to me.
My insurance (Cigna) demanded that I go to a doctor supervised, 6 month long weight loss program. I read a lot- especially on www.obesityhelp.com that if you lose too much- it will disqualify you from the weight loss surgery. So, I lost a pound or two- than gained it back the next month. In the end, the doctor recommended that I have the surgery. I also had letters from my chiro, cardiologist and pulmonologist. Basicly stating that - although I do not have high blood pressure, diabetes, GERD or any co-morbities- HOWEVER-my direct family genetics of morbid obesity, heart disease and the other aforementioned co-morbidities are sure to be on my horizon if I dont do this surgery preventatively. I am really quite healthy and active- but the recipe of being 5'.8" and 295 was not a good one. It isnt that I am not attractive- I am- I think, quite attractive....I felt like CRAP at that weight. I have also lost and regained 100lbs THREE times in my life.
When I was 16 I got mono. I went from 240lbs to 150lbs. How? I had tonsils the size of a brontosaurus and literally slept for 8 months. I missed most of my 10 grade year. From that point on- my body liked to hang out at the 200 range- all through high school and college and into my late 20's. On 9-11-01 I was 240lbs and was miserable. I had an epiphany that this life isnt practice and that I was going to be under 200lbs for my 30th birthday if it killed me. I went to a doctors weight loss clinic and went on phentermine and Xenical (fat-blockers) and did it. On my 30th I was 178lbs and a size 16 and feeling HOT. That next year- the scale crept up and by 2003 I was pregnant and gained 110lbs. It was also discovered a this point that I have a progressive thyroid disease and most likely have had it since puberty. I was put on thyroid meds- and this was no risk to my baby. I delivered a healthy whopping 9.13lb baby girl in my living room- in a birth tub and into her Daddys hands. I nursed for 17 months and after weaning I hit the weight loss cocktail again. I was 310 when I began and was 210 when I stoped the meds. I was CRAZY on the phentermine....like WACKO! Dry-mouthed and all hopped up and cranky and just a little-too-enthusiastic and cracked out of my skull. The Xenical had irritated my bottom so badly that my hemorrhoids were bleeding almost all the time- so I wore a maxi pad full time. I was like- screw this! I cant even sit down and my jeans fit me again.
Well....295lbs came around again after a thyroid dump and I hit a wall.
I just cant maintain a healthy weight.
Even 200lbs is overweight for a person that is 5'.8" tall.
So that is my story. Not unlike many that have been posted on this forum.
This was my first post to the group. It was replied to with so much advice and awesome empathy!
2/5/07 is where the blogging began.
272lbs.
I am brand spanky new to this forum. AND I am so sad. I really need to connect with people who have been in my boat- and have some advice for me. I am in the earliest stages of getting the lap-band. History: I have lost and gained 100lbs three times in my life. (That is equivalent to three of the Back Street Boys!) I am 34 years old. I am currently 272lbs at 5'8. I am a size 24 and growing. I just pulled out my post-partum pregnancy stash that I was fortunate enough to have kept. I am EXPLODING. QUICKLY! I attribute this to my discontinuing the fat blockers and speed pills that I have more or less lived on for the last 20 years. (I am not a junkie- just used them to keep my weight under control. LOL!)I was put on diet pill when I was 14 years old by my step-mother. She was a real nut about my chub. Now- I laugh at what she once called fat! I was a size 14. I cannot take another diet pill, fat blocker or natural herbal product again. Although I have achieved incredible results with them- they make me act CRAZY and I become clinicly depressed weaning off of them!!! And are only a temporary fix for my obesity. I have a very active life- I have a three year old daughter. She is lovely. I have an adoring husband who is my best friend on the planet. I also rescue Boston Terriers and often have my hands full with brisk walking with up to 4 dogs at a time, three or four times a day. I have a thyroid disease that is controlled successfully by medications. So, needless to say- I FEEL GROSS! ALL OVER AGAIN! Well, here is where I need some help from any one of you. I am told that Cigna requires 6 months of nutritional counseling- which I have been doing for two months. At my second meeting- I am told that my nutritional counseling is NOT covered by my insurance. I was charged $150.00 PLUS $10.00 CO-PAY for the initial visit. Then for the second one- I was charged $40.00 PLUS $10.00 for a CO-PAY?? Why did I pay a CO-PAY for something that insurance is not covering?? Isn't a CO-PAY for what insurance companies require you to pay of the payment? If I am paying it out of pocket- why am I paying a co-pay? I am so confused. ALSO- How is it ethically correct for an insurance company to require a therapy when they wont cover it?? I am so freaked out for two reasons. #1- Insurance: I don’t want to make any mistakes with this insurance request- but I am unaware of some of the loopholes that I may need to know about. #2- I am so sad. Weepy even. Completely disgusted with myself. Not feeling inspired to keep fighting to be healthy. I am just so tired of waddling around these thighs. Tired of not wanting to be intimate with my husband because I feel like an overturned turtle that cant get off is back without rocking back and forth. Tired of having 'back-boobs' to stuff into the back panels of my bra. Tired of my knees and feet hurting. I cleaned out my closet (AGAIN) and packed up all of my 16's and 18's thinking that it would make me fell better. I thought that if I dint keep trying to wear things that don’t fit me it wouldn’t be such a reminder of how big I have gotten - AGAIN. I feel worse. I had a few clean-the-house t-shirts and one sweater and three turtlenecks. It took a trip to good ole' LANE BRYANT and $200. baught me some dignity. Sort of. At least I have a winter coat that closes around my round luscious body! Considering that it is 9 degrees outside- that was a necessary evil. I also bought new bras- so that I can breath AND keep the girls from jiggling and ONE pair of jeans and some skivvies that actually WILL stay in place over the rolls. I am quite knowledgeable about nutrition and have been living a diabetic lifestyle all my life- it seems- in an obviously futile attempt to control my weight. I feel that I have already lived a lifestyle that is conducive to a lap-band being productive for me. (lots of exercise, low carb/ high protein, no carbonated drinks, tons of water, water, water) I AM doing my part to keep my weight under control but have failed. Part of this is my because of my 'obesity help' of choice. (the pharm way) I feel like I am shifting my "help" from the drugs that have all of their side effects to the lap-band that has far less side effect and a more permanent form of 'help'. I NEED this. I am too young to feel the way that I do. My three year old thinks that I am a superhero. I think very highly of myself. I am attractive- even with all of this weight. I am a great person. But yesterday after a shower, my daughter looked up at me and said, "Mommy, you are fat!" She is right. I am 30lbs away from the day after I gave birth to her. Bottom line is: It is not right for a human to be the birth weight of a baby elephant! It is not healthy. I am not the superhero that I want to be. The superhero that I have found inside of me- for brief moments in my life- by doing really unhealthy weight loss meds. The want to unleash the superhero that is trapped in here under all the rest of me. I need this insanity to end. I can’t keep living like this- yo-yoing my weight by 100lbs at a time. My heart wont take this abuse again and again. My father had his first heart attack at 42 and was dead by 55. Diabetes is throughout my mothers’ side of the family- combined with morbid obesity. If I don’t make a permanent change my genetics wont help me along. I fear that I wont be able to see my daughter grow up. I don’t meant to sound dramatic. I really mean every word of this in the core of me. And I am so afraid that I wont be approved. If- I am not approved...I dont know how in the world I will finance it. Thus, freak out #1! Whew- I am emotionally and physically exhausted. I hope that someone has some feedback for me. I am really jacked up over all of this. At the very least- it felt really good to start writing about this issue and to vent in an area that I think there may be others who understand me. Be! Syntheia
