tessanne10

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I've been away for awhile, but I'm back. Well I ate something that I probably wasn't ready for and my stomach has been telling me that for the past week. So I'm now back to the beginning with doing liquids and protein shakes. After a few days of this I can then move into soft foods again.
Also this coming Tuesday I will be dealing with the one year anniversary of my dad's death. Planning on keeping myself as busy as possible that day.

Okay! One of my goals is to be more physically active, well starting next week, I will be taking a yoga class to help loosen up my muscles for walking. This is coming from a person who never ever really exercised because of my size and also because I was afraid of what people would think.
I am now going for what is best for me and who cares what others think. I think this will help me to put more structure into my life also.
I need to take the dog for a walk later on tonight, he seems to like it, and always wants to make new friends. He is what I call a little goodwill ambasador.
I do have to say that since I have been doing this blog it has helped me to see where I want to go in life. I am thinking that I want to do something to help others like us in the same situation. Not everyone knows that there is hope and help out there for them.

I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can now wear a size 16 jean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did a clothing swap last night and took them for later on and they fit now!
This means that I am now out of the plus sizes and working my way down to smaller ones!

For the longest time I never thought I would find someone who would love me, for me, but I did and I wound up marrying my bestfriend. He has been my rock through my decision to have surgery and is there with me every step of the way.
When I met Kevin I was nearly 300 lbs! I didn't think I stood a chance with such a great guy, but he saw beyond the weight and medical issues going on and asked me to marry him 9 years ago.
Since having surgery, life is better and we have plans for the future. I have my own plans as well, like walking a 5K eventually. This is not a magic pill, where poof your thin, but it is going to be alot of hard work and patience on my part. I feel at times like a smaller child learning all over again how to act, walk, talk, think, and especially how to eat for hunger and not emotions.
One of my biggest challenges is actually learning not to over eat!

I have been fat all my life. There is not a time in my life, that I don't remember being this way. As a baby, I looked like a live version of a Campbell Soup kid, you know the big chubby cheeks, legs, and arms. Life was not easy being fat as a child. I always heard that I would be such a pretty girl if only I would lose some weight.
I tended to insolate myself from people, because it was so much easier not to make them mad or disappoint them, but especially not to get hurt, and if I did get hurt, good old food was there to console me when I needed it.  For so many years I would shove the sweets into my mouth and never think what it was doing to me. I had the appetite of an adult and no one ever thought to say hey that's enough or to tell me to take less and if I was still hungry, I could always have more. I was expected to finish my plate.
The name calling and being made fun of by classmates was one thing, but when your own family does it, it is ten times worse.When  this happens, you begin to stop trusting people and what they say.
Some how I made it through this, but not without doing damage to myself in the process. Over the years I wound up with 24 co-morbidities that led to my life changing surgery. No one should have to go through this, especially as a young child.
I have been on a diet of some sort for most of my life, and now I am in the progress of changing my lifestyle habits for much healthier ones.
This is not a quick fix and no I did not magically become thin overnight, but I am much more aware of my weaknesses and long time bad habits.