I need to do this!!! Ah!! 13 Months!

Feb 11, 2009

So its been far far far tooo long! Big updates. 
*I'm over 13 months out.
*I weight 180lbs
*I just have 30 more lbs to goal
*I can eat EVERYTHING (not a good update)
*I need to seriously start toning haha
*Size 11 jeans in juniors what whatttttttt?!?!? Medium shirts?!?!? So this is what it feels like to go shopping?!?!

So this whole weight loss journey is unreal.  I am so happy. I've been so happy.  I have not for a single second regretted this decision.  Its so funny how everything has changed.  Peoples perspectives of you, you own perspective of yourself, confidence, everything.  I guess I'll start with my own perspective of myself.  Like a year and a 1/2 ago, I would not go out.  I was miserable, and my personality is not like that. I like the spotlight, but I was so embarrassed of myself.   Now, I will go whereever and do whatever and I feel GOOD!  I feel sexy... at times. haha.  I mean there are parts of me that I pick out and don't like still (tummy!!!!) but overall, I feel hot! Others perceptions of me....wow. its so different.  Like for instance, I was at the mall yesterday and walked into EVERY store and tried clothes on and no one looked at me like I shouldn't be there or I shouldnt be trying their clothes on.  I feel like people are alot nicer.... and as crappy as it sounds (on both ends) the situation is pretty great.... getting hit on doesn't feel like a joke anymore or being harrassed by chubby chasers.... I do have a problem tho sometimes when other people tell me I'm thin or beautiful, because even though I'm just beginning to see it myself, I don't believe them. haha. ITs weird, but I'm slowly learning to accept these things.  What can I say.... life is pretty great.

Things I'm struggling with: Getting these last 30lbs off!!!!! Like I said I can eat everything again, so now I need to be super conscious of what I put into my mouth.  Also, I have been drinking alot of the weekends, and that needs to stop ASAP. SO MANY CALORIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS geezzzzzzzzzzz..... I try to limit myself to only drinking one night a week and I pick drinks that are lowest in calories for myself.  (Miller 64 is actually pretty good!) I need to start food journaling again and STOP GRAZING.  these are my resolutions for feb.  I also neeed to get back to the gym.  I've been so lazy lately.  I can't fall back into bad habits.  I've come so far and I won't go back.  These size 11 jeans look too good.... hahah\

well hopefully everyone out there is doing great. sorry for my rambling.

Have a good day

--Laur

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