tracy L.

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Wow!! Six months has passed already- doesn't seem possible!!! And what a 6 months it has been:-) Happy to report that on 11/21/12, which was my 6 month postop date, I not only reached my weight loss goal, but EXCEEDED !! I had set a goal of 145 pounds and I was actually 143.6:) I know that this doesn't end this journey and have to keep focused!! No room to slack on exercise and fighting head hunger and bad habits continues to be an almost daily struggle. I don't always win those struggles but clearly, I am doing something right!!! My "first Thanksgiving" was yesterday! I didn't binge:-) I enjoyed at least a few bites of everything and even a sliver of 2 pies and a small ice cream scoop! No weight gain and in fact I lost and am at 140.6 today. I do find myself slacking a bit on vitamins and calcium over the last few weeks and need to re-focus!! I continue to exercise at least 4-6 times a week- running, Zumba, elliptical, walking, weights, crunches. Most of the time I truly love doing it:-) I have continued to be an open book with my journey and have had so many people approach me and want to know more. Some have moved forward with surgery option, others have decided it isn't for them but have gotten moving anyway!! I am happy to know that thru my struggles and successes I have helped someone else!! Feels like a bonus of having the RNY!! I did some pics for the weight loss center and have been asked to help with some radio spots!! Makes me a little nervous but exciting too:-) I am so incredibly blessed with the support I get from family and friends- what a difference that it truly makes

So just realizing that 4 months have passed since my RNY on May 21st. What a journey! Great, good, bad, ugly and eeeevvveeerryyything in between!! I would not change it, I would do the surgery again and be as vocal as I have been about my journey- maybe even more;-) To date, I have lost roughly 75 pounds, including pre-surgery loss. I bounce between 157-160 on any given day. I had hoped to hit 145# but not sure that is meant to be. My body seems to like it where it's at and I am not sure how I would drop 10-12 more without being destructive??!! The 145 has been a stupid haunting number that popped into my head and I got stuck on- no one suggested it or reccomened it- in fact was told by my surgeon that it would be too low. Regardless, have stressed over it for a month since my 3 month followup. This week, after a moment of commen sense, I realized- what the hell for??? I am in the normal weight range for my height, I am running, doing Zumba classes, using my new elliptical, walking and using hand weights. The fruits of my labor= single digit clothing- VERY EXCITING!!!!! I am a comfortable size 8!! My 3 month checkup was fantastic with the REAL VICTORIES  being in my HEALTHY bloodwork and emotional health overall!!! I have stopped taking paxil after over 5 years of being on it. It was ROUGH- HORRIBLE drug to come off from but the mindset and physical health this journey has given me allowed me to do it!!! I haven't had it in over a month now and the side effects are about gone. Amazing what it is like to fell again- not just the _____________ from the med!! I ran my 2nd 5K today and had the BEST time for me from all of my runs!! 24 minutes, 36 seconds!!! This week, going to start adding distance to the 4 mile runs I do and will be conquering 5 miles very soon;-) Zumba has become a fantastic workout for me!!! SOOOOOO much fun and I sweat like a beast and love it!!! I purchsed an elliptical which gives me yet another workout- different from the others. I LOVE EXERCISE!!!
     So, some struggle and fears; I have some old demons re-surfacing since the honeymoon phase of the first 3 months. Sugar sugar sugar haunts me FAR too often. If I am being honest, sometimes it wins!!! The paxil was horrifying to detox from and I SWEAR I will never touch it again!!! Calories are consistently higher now- almost always reaching the 1000 mark and up to 1150. I have to admit- it TERRIFIES me!!! I know with all of my exercise that its ok but never-the-less, not happy about it. That is something I need to work on!! My choices have not always been the greatest over the last few weeks. I don't like not being in control and at times I feel like the old fat slob binging me- like if I looked down I would see allllll of the weight back:-( Sigh....maybe some things really don't change?? I do not want to fail at this- so many people watching, encouraging me- a LOT of pressure- I am used to eating to calm stress and I CANNOT WILL NOT keep giving in that way.
    What makes me very happy thru all of this are the messages I get from others who have decided to either look into this journey for themselves, those that have actually started the journey and those who have started moving even without the help of our weight loss center.

 This week I have reached the three month mark of having my RNY! Time has flown by!!! I had a goal of reaching normal weight before my 3 month follow up appt. with Dr. Alley and today IS that day!! I reached my goal and am no longer overweight!!! Today is my appt. with Dr. Alley!!! I cannot put into words how excited and proud I am. More importantly, I am grateful- for so many things!!! God blessed me with this surgery opportunity!!! Dr. Alley gifted me with the RNY tool!! The Guthrie Weight Loss Center taught me what I need to do to be successful and continues to support me thru this journey!! My friends encourage and inspire me each day with their kind words and hugs and willingness to exercise with me!!  My daughters faces inspire me every time I look at them- just by being mine and knowing I made a choice that will help me enjoy them more fully and longer. For all of these things I am grateful!!! I am thrilled to be moving again and enjoying doing it!!! I see and feel the previous athlete in me again!!! Runni g, walking, swimming, using elliptical, hand weights and Zumba class:-) My new goal is to reach my final weight goal of 145 pounds which is about 17 pounds away. Target weight date is mid-November, 6 month postop visit!! I am not as focused on loss anymore as I am on fitness and toning, knowing that pounds will fall into place!! Even my mind is healthier!!! Loving life

 Well, cannot believe that surgery was almost two months ago!! Time flies, truly!! Seems like a surgery date will never arrive but of course, it does!! I have to say, regardless of bumps along this crazy emotional path, I am SO THRILLED to have been given the gift of this RNY tool and would do it again if I had too!!! The simple fact is, gastric bypass gave me back control of my life. It is true. The control I have been unable to capture for years was handed back with one awesome tool provided by a fabulous surgeon and his staff. I will be forever grateful. I was slow, in my opinion, to start losing after surgery but it has been consistent over the last two weeks, always a loss even if small. I have had a few mishaps with swallowing some foods but it has been a lesson in SLOW DOWN AND CHEW!! I will re-try those mishaps again at a later time!! I have experienced dumping syndrome only a couple times. Oddly, one offender was a bowl of Cheerios!! Not frosted, not apple cinnamon, not chocolate- just plain old Cheerios- same ones we give our babies!! Completely caught me off guard! No more of those, I can live without them!! One of the strangest things is the lack of physical hunger. It is nice not to feel like you HAVE to eat all the time!! I know eventually that feeling comes back but I don't miss it:-) I have not had foot, knee or back pain since before surgery. Wonderful!! I was able to start jogging about two weeks after surgery and guess what!?!? I don't hate it!! I am really embracing getting out and moving!!! I have dropped from a size 18/20 to a 12/14!!! I have had several people who now have the courage to explore the possible option of WLS!! That makes me happy- happy to help anyone else that may be too embarrassed or scared to explore this option. I am happy I have not hidden my journey and actually have been quite the opposite!! I have opened some eyes as well as minds:-) I have some of the most amazing support on this journey, yet another gift from God. Don't get me wrong, this journey has not been all sunshine and roses but it is amazing, life changing every single day!!! My energy level is fabulous, no naps needed, sleeping great at night! I am not snoring anymore either;-)  I have learned to ask if I don't know and to keep trying and that lesson works throughout life :-)

I am a day later posting as surgery was a week ago but yesterday was Memorial Day and I was lounging poolside surrounded by friends and family! I am happy to say, I was thrown into the shopping for our cookout and didn't crave, may have wanted a bite, but didn"t crave!! Maybe it is because this is starting week 4 of liquids and now it just seems normal?!? I ate my greek yogurt while everyone else feasted;-) So, some thoughts about my first week following rny: the surgery went absolutely fine and my surgeon was able to find and repair a hiatal hernia that had not shown up with my EGD- I am very grateful and happy with that as the chest pain/back pain episodes were excruciating and he believes that is why they were occuring. Without the rny, may never have known and I would have continued the horror and a 100 tests I cannot afford!! I have been pain free since right after surgery!! I was a model patient using my morphine PCA, lol! Have needed no narcotics since I left the hospital last Thursday. Fluids were a struggle days 2-4 postop and you just have to trust them and do it!!! The dehydration and urinary retention was FAR worse than sipping 4 ounces an hour. I was told that within a few day the it would suddenly "click" and the fluids would just be right, do-able and I would just know it. That day was Saturday, postop day 5. That seemed to be a spring forward with this journey, not caught in the "surgery week" anymore. My emotions resolved as well after a lot of support all around, letting some tears just fall and probably all of the strong meds clearing out of me. I know there will be some more lows, besides my falling weight, lol, but I feel better about it since I have now felt what does happen!! Recognition helps so much!!!! Head hunger occurs a little bit but am so relieved at how much easier it is to recognize and dismiss it and move on without much of a struggle now that physical hunger is gone- YES IT IS GONE , since sx day!!! Took me until Friday to get rid of some extra fluid and back to sx weight. Since then, I am losing, about 7 pounds between Friday and Monday- very happy with that!! My husband and two young daughters have been great and that is a giant help!! Hubby even confided in my neighbors he has a much bigger respect for all that I do here at home as he was run ragged while I was an in-patient and that was just running the girls, no cleaning, housework, cooking!!! Hahahaha!! Is that considered an NSV?? So, I am feeling so good, I am going back to work tomorrow!!! Had planned to go back next Wednesday but I am ready and got my surgeon's go ahead, with common sense restrictions. Will do half day until first postop appt. next week. The first week, while having some lows, had far more positives and I am blessed to be on this journey!!!

 So, surgery was done on Monday and went perfectly:-) Dr. Alley found a hiatal hernia and repaired that and is hopeful that was the source of my epigastric/back pain episodes so should be no more of those!! Just another good reason to have had my rny because the hernia didn't show up on egd. I stayed an extra day in the hospital because I had a some trouble with hydration and nausea. Made me feel like a failure, short term, thinking I was slacking or falling behind Dr. Alley's expectations- could not have been more wrong!!! The nurses all told me but until he reassured me, there was no changing my mind!! What I didn't understand was if I had gone home, I would have ended up very sick and re-admitted!! Moral to this story: recovery takes time!!! There is no rushing it! Slow down and do what I have been clearly taught thru this program:-)  I am happy to be home and can't wait for my two girls to get home from school!!! Life did not stop while I was in as evidenced by a few messes requiring my attention;-) Oddly, as happy as I am to be home, there is a mild feeling of " blue" nagging me at the back of my brain?!?! I was taught this would happen, that there is such a huge change in our lives that sometimes little things make us upset. Once again, learning by doing!! I kind of feel like surgery is over, now what!!?? I know that is illogical cuz the next step is putting this new tool to work!! So many changes to make and adjust to. I am looking forward to the journey and making those who have supported me proud, as well as myself!! I hope I have started to open minds of those who think this is easy, open minds of those who think they may be interested in wls but are afraid for so many different reasons!! I had the privilege of talking to two cna's who were working on the floor I was on after sx. Each came to me seperately and told me they had been considering going to Dr. Alley and wanted me to share my experience:-) I was more than happy too and made sure they knew I had no reservations about the bariatric program here, whatsoever!!! I think they will be making a visit to hear what the program is all about!! Anyone who may read this, if you are in the northeast Pennsylvania area or surrounding areas and are looking into wls , check out Dr. Alley and his staff at The Guthrie Bariatric Center:-) okay, enough typing, need to sip and journal!!!

 One week to go!!!! Just finished first week of two week liquid diet!! Wow, not an easy thing to stick with but I am so proud and happy that so far I have!!!!! I even survived my nieces wedding reception WITHOUT snitching even one bite of all the deliciousness of all that was there. It made me miserable for a while but I kept telling myself, I chose this and no one forced me!!!! After the reception, the next morning, I had lost another pound and realized I can and am doing this:-) One more week until surgery, can't wait. I am having some doubts niggling in but from I see on this website, that is normal at this point. Just want to fly thru this week, even if it has to pass thru another week of vanilla and chocolate  shakes!! I think it may be a " trick" the doctors use- make you so sick of sweets with two week liquid diet that you will not even think of having real sweets after surgery;-) LOL!!! Anyway, it is working:-) Ahhhhh....  One week!!!!

After my initial pout posted about hating to wait, I was recently approved , first try and three months early!!! I truly believed I was a long shot and my surgeon wasn't sure what would happen either. Then, this crazy little thing known as sleep apnea showed itself loud and clear. Mixed blessing??? I HATE the cpap but the sleep apnea was the main issue I was approved because of. Now I know, there is an end in the forseable future to have to use it. My surgeon is awesome and I am so happy he decided to take the chance and submit halfway through 6 month medically supervised diet. He felt that due to the marked inconsistency in approval and denials with BCBS that we should just try now and see what transpired. I found out I had approval and a surgery date in 5 days, including a weekend! I did my pre-op appointments yesterday with the dietician and Dr. Alley then went and had my pre-admission testing done. I start my two week, liquid, liver reduction diet on Monday and surgery is on Monday, May 21st. Support group was tonight too and I am surprised at how much I enjoy it!!I am so completely excited and just want it to be here!! It is a true testament to what God wants us to do and that is to place our trust in Him. I had just resigned myself to the fact that it would be July before we could submit and had prayed and prayed that I could leave it at God's feet and let him take care of me, let my worries go knowing He is in control and will provide what I need, whether surgery or not. Once I actually did that, well, as you read, it worked out perfectly. Makes me think of my favorite bible verse from from Matthew 6;34, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.". I am grateful! I was happy to see that I lost about 6 pounds since my visit a month ago too- BONUS!!! Can't wait to hit the loser's bench!!

I had no idea when I started this process in February (not very long ago in reality), that this would be such a long process. Impatience has always been a downfall of mine, always. This time has made me slow down, like it or not. I thought when I called for a consult that I would be given an appointment and scheduled for surgery. What a fool, right? Maybe not a fool but definitely uneducated on what wls would entail. The seminar was a wonderful opportunity to hear overall about the three surgeries that my surgeon offers and especially to hear what the actual percentages for complications are. Very nice to know that the horror stories that are the most public are microscopically low as compared to the actual safety and success!! My consult appointment was great as far as meeting the staff at the weight loss center. When meeting with Dr. Alley, was one of the only doctor appointments I have ever had where the physician actually has time for you, didn't feel rushed at all. I was surprised at how very much it is my decision as to which procedure to have, he will not push me in any direction. I had to be the one to say, "this is what I want" and here is why. He was kind enough to say he felt I chose well for me, I want to have the sleeve. I did my bloodwork right away, found out yes, some abnormalities but not as unhealthy as the images in my head. I have had episodes of GERD for several years but since omeprazole worked well with flareups, I neved was scoped. Since it is a requirement here, I finally did it. No damage thank goodness so sleeve will still be a go!!! I did one sleep study which was an utter waste of time so I repeat it next week, not looking forward to the actual procedure but ready to keep moving forward. I met with the dieticien and fitness girls, both wonderful. They made real plans that anyone can do which was a welcome relief as I had pictured two little Barbies that no one could relate to!! I was cleared by the pyschologist to move forward and I don't have to meet with him again unless I feel the need to.  Now, just waiting, waiting to finish two last steps before the surgeons office make the big submission to my insurance company. Sleep study repeat next week and then second appointments with dieticien and fitness April 9th. Getting closer yet sooooo far! Right now, that anxiety of not being able to think about anything else but this process has subsided. I am sure it will flareup up with a vengeance when the insurance submission goes in. Trying to give it over to God, as it is ultimately His blessing or not:-)