TracyL72

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Well its Christmas and of course I am very depressed. Just like the last few christmases and just winter its self depresses me. Today just feels really bad all I want to do is crawl in bed and go to sleep. Waiting to see my surgeon is depressing too since I have no clue when thats gonna happen, I wish I had the money or even a better car to be able to go to a different surgeon, but I'm sure there's a long waiting list for them also. I guess I should be glad because others have waited a life time to get this done. Any way just needed to get this off my chest since no one really understands this and my son really doesn't understand why mommys so sad. So I am trying for him to stay in a some what  a good mood just getting really hard to keep the tears from falling.

I'm going batty, I think this is why I'm having so much trouble sleeping. I emailed my surgeon and he said he can't wait til our appontment to meet me. Yet I hear nothing from anyone else. I wish they could tell my something. Things to do before surgery or something.Guess I will email the staff again and see if I get any answers this time.  Till then I will be going buts try to find things to do to keep my mind off of it I guess.

I don't know what it is thats keeping me awake every few days, but its driving me crazy. To make matters worse my trans in my car took a dump yesterday on my way to see my PCP. Thank god we were only a couple blocks away when it happen and I was able to get all of us home( Hubby, son and I).Well merry christmas to us. Talked to a few places and looks like it gonna cost atleast a grand or more. Well luckily it looks like the finnace company will add it to our car payment, so here's keeping our fingers crossed. Well I needed to get that off my chest, just wish I could go to sleep now  Well off to try and lay down.

Now comes the fun part waiting for the surgeons office to call me back and give me a date for my initial visit, but I know its gonna be a few months. I am not a very patient person when it comes to something I want really bad, but I have to wait nothing else I can do til I hear from them.

Well I seen my PCP yesterday and he recomended I do the WLS. I was exstatic and a huge weight was lifted off of me, now I can't wait. So now I just have to wait til I can get my initial appointment to see my surgeon if it is going to be Dr. alverdry or Dr. Prachand either way it doesn't matter both surgeons are ones of the best in this area. SO now is the waiting game. I will be contacing them every now and then trying to find out more when I can. So for now I thank everyone for their support and I will keep everyone informend as I can.

So I decided I am going to go thru getting surgery no matter what my PCP says so I took the next step with a little help from a friend, thank you Alex, and emailed the surgeons office. Well with in 20 mins I get a call back. Yea I was so excited then she hit me with the news.... there's a 2 yr waiting list for people with Medicare. My heart dropped and allI wanted to do was cry. Well she took my information and said as soon as an appointment becomes available they will get  a hold of me. So this is a major set back I don't have 2 yrs to wait. One because my health is getting worse by the day and two I won't be living here that long we are supose to be moving to southern Illiniois next year. So what do I do now do I give up or do I change my mind and settle for an RNY. I don't know what to do guess I'll go take a nap and hopefully feel better later.

Well I am working on taking pics and finding old ones. I will have them one lateeee tonight tats too

Well today is a crappy day I am still waiting til Nov. 3 to talk to my PCP to see if he will ok me for WLS, it seems like its taking forever. I am very upset about my hair color ( I know silly but its really buggin me) and I tried to get ahold of the surgeons office becuase its takes at least 2 weeks just to try to make an appointment. Well in order to even make the appointment I have to fill out a heatlh thing but in order to do that I need $125 to register, yet it says you don't have to pay it unless you have surgery. So now I can't go ahead and do the health form or what ever it is til I have the $125 to be on hold with my credit card info. And being on disability yea right. Well I will figure something out. I might have to settle for I different surgeon and an RNY ( I hope not )