APPROVED!! and other random thoughts

Dec 16, 2008

So, Susan let me know tonight that Dr. Alvarez approved me, and that the date I wanted was available, and has in fact penciled me in.  So YAY!!! for that!!  Small problem though - they don't take credit cards.  It's not a huge deal, it just means that I'll have to take all my available cash (as opposed to just most of it) and have hubby write me a credit card cheque for the difference.  Somehow though, this kind of deflated me.  I guess now it makes it real, and the worries about how much my MIL is going to send us for the RRSP (similar to 401K) in February.  I'm guessing enough to cover most of what I'll be taking from my tax cash, and worse comes to worse, I'm going to try and put as much as I can back before April 30th.  I suppose if it comes to it, I'll just have to do a payment plan with the gov't if I end up short on my taxes.  I wish we could just ask her how much she's sending, but then we'd have to explain why.  And right now, only my parents and hubby know about the sleeve. 

My mom (and probably dad but I haven't talked to him) isn't happy that I'm self paying as medicare will pay for it - but with a crazy long wait.  I can't stand waiting!  I know she's not against the surgery at all, just the self pay, and somewhat nervous about MX.  She wasn't nasty at least, but I recognized the unhappy tone of voice, usually reserved for my idiot brother and his habit of making babies (2nd on the way) that he can't afford. Like I told her though (nicely, don't worry :)) it's my life and she doesn't have to approve.

For now, and possibly forever, I don't plan on sharing the news with anyone else, including my bro and SIL.  Or any of hubby's family.  I have some friends that would be supportive, but there's no way of telling them without the unsupportive ones finding out.  And one in particular I see every single weekend from May-October (camping) and I KNOW that I'll never hear the end of it.  She is of the type that her opinion is fact.  An example: I decided to feed my dogs raw meat.  After extensive research, (and losing 2 kibble fed dogs very young a month apart Fall 07) I have decided that this is the healthiest thing I can do.  She DOES NOT like this.  If it comes up in conversation (which I try now to avoid) she tells me how bad it is.  She supposedly "looked it up".  I don't know where, how, or what she looked up - but I tried even googling "why raw feeding is bad" and couldn't find anything but websites in support of raw feeding.  She even got pretty nasty during one convo - and this is based on her OPINION.  (I doubt she looked a damn thing up).  So I can only imagine her response to me purposely having 80% of my stomach cut out.  Before you tell me to stop speaking to her, it's so not that simple - other than seeing her all the time, she's also my BFF's (who I'm not so sure is really my BFF but that's another story) mother.  And they have trailers I could spit on from mine at the campground - and none of us are selling them any time soon.  So I have to play nice :(

I suppose anyone who asks will be told I'm watching what I eat and exercising.  I guess the only time they may question me is when I'm eating - which thankfully doesn't happen all that often.  That's actually a big reason I'm dipping into funds I REALLY shouldn't rather than waiting to see what we get from MIL - the further out from surgery I am by summer, the better.  Apart from the fact that I'm alone during the week at the trailer w/o a car (I don't drive anyway) and want to secure in my eating habits, I want to be on "normal" food by then.  Also, I should be able to eat at least a little more a few months out - hopefully enough that it's not terribly noticeable.  Explaining the lack of drinking might be a little more difficult as it's everyone's favorite pasttime there, and I've been known to overindulge in the past ;)  I guess I'll master nursing my wine!

Actually I think the hardest time I'll have hiding it is when I HAVE to visit my MIL.  I should mention I really don't like her.  I love the money she sends but she doesn't really like me - I took her baby boy away and she hates that.  Thankfully she moved about 9hrs away a few years ago so I only see her when she insists on visiting - only twice since she moved, thank goodness.  But as my FIL passed away last month (that I'm sad about - he was a lovely man and nice to me!) I will have to go to the memorial service she postponed til May.  And we're spending a weekend there.  And my MIL is German, born and raised and firmly believes in any gathering including at least 3 cakes and everyone sampling a piece each, preferably 2.  Lots of coffee and booze too.  And I can't get out of going :(  I guess I'll have to say I've been down with a gastro (stomach flu) all week and just barely able to eat by the time I arrive.

Guess I should cut the novel short now.

T :)

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